4 year update (positive story)

[fruitgun]

Hello,

 

in November 2016 I had a very bad impactful trip on psychedelic mushrooms.

My mind was in shambles for many months, I had intense anxiety and depression 24/7. I was not able to drink caffeine, drink alcohol, I had difficulties holding conversations. I was very hypersensitive to everyhing. Minor things like watching videos on my computer in full screen, being in rooms with specific spatial structures, thoughts about topics like the simulation theory, consciousness, life after death sent me into existential dread.

So I was trying to live a healthy life, I exercised, took some supplements like omega 3, magnesium, vitamin D and tried to avoid substances like alcohol and caffeine.

Around two years after my trip I started a new job which initially made me feel worse during the stress.

However during this period I generally noticed a steady improvement in my mental state. However I was always worrying that too much time passes and my mind will never return to the happy, relaxed person I used to be.

But as I spent more time at my job and got my mind more and more occupied I noticed even further improvement.

So I am not saying that medicine cured me, but around one year ago I got put on Amlodipine because I suffer from hypertension. (already before my bad trip)

Amlodipine is a calcium channel inhibitor and on various sites related to DPDR and HPPD I read that this type of medication helps with feelings of dissocation and anxiety.

However when the dosage got increased from 5 to 10 mg I started to suffer very bad depression. I also had some other stress factors in my life during this time so I am not sure if it was because of the medicine.

I went to a psychiatrist and he gave me a prescription for Sertraline, first 25 and now 50 mg.

I can tell you, I feel really good. I do not have debilitating anxiety, depression or dissocation. 

I am able to enjoy music, movie, food, conversations. At some times even more than I used to do before. I can consume alcohol and caffeine without problems and I even smoke cannabis without adverse effects. (maybe do not let this inspire you lol)

I do not really think about HPPD and similar issues at all anymore. It is not something relevant anymore to my life.

Maybe in some way I am still different than before my trip, but thats okay. The brain and the mind are changing all the time during the course of your life.

Some people suffer a stroke at the age of 25, develop Multipe Sclerosis, Parkinson, ALS or other types of awful neurological disorders at a young age. The symptoms of these diseases are on average much worse than your typical HPPD symptoms. 

Some people ruin their brain during their teenage years with amphetamines, opiates, alcohol or huge amounts of weed.

Its okay to fall down in your life, its okay to make mistakes. Its okay to struggle.

This is especially important for new sufferers: You will get better. I was at the bottom of the world and I am very fine right now. I work full time, make good money and have a girlfriend. The brain has an enormous potential for flexibility. As long as you are patient and try to live healthy, it will be fine. You will be happy.

[fruitgun]

Some additional information:

The Amlodipine initially made me feel better on 5 mg. It calmed me down and reduced dissocative sensations. When the dosage got increased I felt bad but like i said, that might have had other reasons.

Sertraline eliminated the negative symptoms I suffered at this point.

I advise against medication during your first two years of recovery because - in my experience - your brain is in a sensitive state during this period and might react too strongly too such substances. When I started Sertraline, I was in a state of relative stability.

Another important factor is making connections. I reached out to people and made friends. Dont keep your problems to yourself, talk with others and put yourself in a versatile friendly environment.

Edited October 29, 2020 by fruitgun

[Jay1]

Thanks for the update, glad to hear you are doing well! What thing that you mentioned is keeping your mind occupied (in a non negative way)... It really does help a lot.

[SomebodySomewhere]

Hi, I'm glad things are going better for you. There are multiple things about your post that I find very interesting, but I'll ask questions later in case they have no impact.

Quote

Maybe in some way I am still different than before my trip, but thats okay. The brain and the mind are changing all the time during the course of your life.

This is such a wise statement and it's so true. A term I have heard from the Autistic community is "Neurodiversity", in that, it's fine to have a mind that works different than normal (and what is normal anyway, I've never met a "normal" person). It can even have advantages.  One thing I will say: please quit the pot. I haven't mentioned this because I didn't want anyone to get a bad idea, but about four years ago, I got a medical marijuana card and smoked an insane amount of pot for about two years. I quit because I had multiple episodes that I realize now we're drug-induced psychosis, and luckily it wasn't permanent. It's your life, just be careful, especially since I imagine HPPD might make you more susceptible to negative reactions (it took over a year before I experienced the really bad effects).

Edited October 31, 2020 by Swartz

[MadDoc]

It's always wonderful to hear about a positive outcome.  Hope can manifest itself.

[fruitgun]

On 10/31/2020 at 11:05 PM, Swartz said:

One thing I will say: please quit the pot. I haven't mentioned this because I didn't want anyone to get a bad idea, but about four years ago, I got a medical marijuana card and smoked an insane amount of pot for about two years. I quit because I had multiple episodes that I realize now we're drug-induced psychosis, and luckily it wasn't permanent.

Yeah I just do it once in a while, not much. How did the psychosis manifest, did you quit using it completely?

[SomebodySomewhere]

18 hours ago, fruitgun said:

Yeah I just do it once in a while, not much. How did the psychosis manifest, did you quit using it completely?

It manifested in terms of bizarre behavior. I started saying and doing things that were not in keeping with my personality, and I started having manic-like episodes. I ended up quitting it completely and refuse to touch it ever again.

One thing I forgot to mention, is there was another strange thing that happened which I still don't understand. It was like I'd sometimes temporarily lose control over my own limbs, like they had a mind of their own.

It was really freaky and scared the shit out of me.

Edited November 8, 2020 by Swartz

[Fawkinchit]

On 10/29/2020 at 12:31 PM, fruitgun said:

Hello,

 

in November 2016 I had a very bad impactful trip on psychedelic mushrooms.

My mind was in shambles for many months, I had intense anxiety and depression 24/7. I was not able to drink caffeine, drink alcohol, I had difficulties holding conversations. I was very hypersensitive to everyhing. Minor things like watching videos on my computer in full screen, being in rooms with specific spatial structures, thoughts about topics like the simulation theory, consciousness, life after death sent me into existential dread.

So I was trying to live a healthy life, I exercised, took some supplements like omega 3, magnesium, vitamin D and tried to avoid substances like alcohol and caffeine.

Around two years after my trip I started a new job which initially made me feel worse during the stress.

However during this period I generally noticed a steady improvement in my mental state. However I was always worrying that too much time passes and my mind will never return to the happy, relaxed person I used to be.

But as I spent more time at my job and got my mind more and more occupied I noticed even further improvement.

So I am not saying that medicine cured me, but around one year ago I got put on Amlodipine because I suffer from hypertension. (already before my bad trip)

Amlodipine is a calcium channel inhibitor and on various sites related to DPDR and HPPD I read that this type of medication helps with feelings of dissocation and anxiety.

However when the dosage got increased from 5 to 10 mg I started to suffer very bad depression. I also had some other stress factors in my life during this time so I am not sure if it was because of the medicine.

I went to a psychiatrist and he gave me a prescription for Sertraline, first 25 and now 50 mg.

I can tell you, I feel really good. I do not have debilitating anxiety, depression or dissocation. 

I am able to enjoy music, movie, food, conversations. At some times even more than I used to do before. I can consume alcohol and caffeine without problems and I even smoke cannabis without adverse effects. (maybe do not let this inspire you lol)

I do not really think about HPPD and similar issues at all anymore. It is not something relevant anymore to my life.

Maybe in some way I am still different than before my trip, but thats okay. The brain and the mind are changing all the time during the course of your life.

Some people suffer a stroke at the age of 25, develop Multipe Sclerosis, Parkinson, ALS or other types of awful neurological disorders at a young age. The symptoms of these diseases are on average much worse than your typical HPPD symptoms. 

Some people ruin their brain during their teenage years with amphetamines, opiates, alcohol or huge amounts of weed.

Its okay to fall down in your life, its okay to make mistakes. Its okay to struggle.

This is especially important for new sufferers: You will get better. I was at the bottom of the world and I am very fine right now. I work full time, make good money and have a girlfriend. The brain has an enormous potential for flexibility. As long as you are patient and try to live healthy, it will be fine. You will be happy.

Maybe instead of the Amlodipine it was the vitamin D, omegas, and magnesium. Your symptoms sound a lot like the ones that I had.

Edited November 29, 2020 by Fawkinchit