My HPPD symptoms, need help

[lostinspace]

I'm going to tell a short version of my story and which symptoms I have experienced. But to begin with I have to say that my english maby isn't so good. I hope that someone have the time to read this because I really need to get help.

I smoked some kind of spice (synthetic weed) 7 months ago. I had a bad trip that was horrible but after a couple of hours I went back to normal again. But then, 3 weeks later, I suddenly got a "flashback". It felt excactly like I was in the bad trip again and I got panic.

But I went back to normal even after that. But then, when I woke up the next morning I had visual snow. I thought it was just some kind of hangover from the flashbacks first, but it went days and the visual snow did not disappear. Everything started to feel unreal, It felt like I was in a dream. That was the derealization. I also felt like I was losing myself, my memory was very bad and I felt a scary distance to my life I had before I took the drug. My feelings even felt unreal. I guess it was the depersonalization. I could not go out anymore because everytime I tried a got a panic attack because of all the symptoms. But I went to a doctor and she gave me some benzo and sent me away. But the benzo didn't help so I used Dr.Google instead and found HPPD. I felt like: This is it. This is the disorder that I have. I had at that point even started to have after images, floaters and trails.

I tried to explain for the doctor what I thought, that I had HPPD. But she didn't knew what it was (I live in Sweden and it seems like not a single doctor knows what HPPD is here) Anyway, I was sent to many different doctors and they just say that everything was fine with me, they could not find some problem with me.

This is a hell and if I have to live with this symptoms my hole life, No then I dont want to live. I cant do anything anymore. I cant go out, I cant even be in a light room without sunglasses. My life has falling apart and I have to get help soon. I have lived with this for 7 months and everyday is a fight for survival.

So my questions to you: Is it someone out there who knows if spice can lead to HPPD?

And do you believe that my symptoms is HPPD? Im completely sure of it but if someone outside could tell me what they think it had been very good. The doctors here in Sweden have nothing to say about it.

[Ghormeh Sabzi]

Weed can (rarely) lead to HPPD. Something synthetic like spice probably has more risks to it I would have thought. Sounds like it could be HPPD as a result of spice.

I think there is a YouTube video where someone talks about getting HPPD from spice. Also, search the forum for 'spice'. There are some other threads where people talk about it.

Most docs worldwide have never heard of HPPD, so your doc is not unusual in that sense. However a good doc should listen to what you have to say.

Welcome to the forum.

[mgrade]

Yeah......spice is bad stuff. Stay away from spice, bath salts, PCP, RC chems, khat, nitrous, K, scopolamine, especially those. And stay away from the rest too. With spice, It was legal in the US because the active chemicals used were analogues of chemicals found in pot. They were able to get around the law with that. But instead of with pot, you have a balance of different chemicals and it may be not an unpleasant experience, when you are smoking this spice stuff, you are only using a couple chemicals somewhat similar to peripherally active chemicals in pot. So perhaps the chemical in

pot, let's just say for speaking, that makes you feel crappy and gives you some visual disturbances, well they have singled out that chemical, changed it around a little chemically and sprayed it on some organic material and now they're selling it to you as fake weed, Spice: bad stuff.

[Guest confusedperson]

ive been having stuff like that happen to me too but im not sure if its hppd. its happened like 10 times. i will randomly look at something n the bottom of everything will shake really fast n blend together, n today i was looking at my tv then all of a sudden i zoned out on it n everything around it turned into traingles n started turning really fast as if they were all puzzle pieces that were trying to reput themselves back together. the times before that werent as bad, but those felt exactly the same as trippin. i smoke on a daily basis but i dont think that has anything to do with it cuz i have a pretty high tolerance, its only been happenin the past two months er so n i havent tripped since feb. i looked it up n it said if i have it theyll perscribe xanax or valium n i think that will fuck me up more. when i close my eyes i see colors and circles n sometimes it hurts cuz it flashes n looks like a neon strobe light, idk if im juss over thinkin it cuz when i read other peoples symptoms i dont have the visual snow or stuff. ): could it be the same thing juss like a milder version of it?

[mgrade]

I'm not sure if you are talking about smoking pot or smoking spice. My thought is that if you had never smoked spice you'd be better. Your visual stuff almost sounds like you are on Agent Orange (even though I'm sure it's not). But I wouldn't be surprised if you could use some of the chemicals in spice as a herbicide. lol You don't want to have the idea that you can always fall back on xanax or valium; while these are great drugs, i think you can get to a point w/ HP where these drug seem virtually ineffective. And then what? The end results may be a doctor prescribing you small-dose atypical antipsychotics (even though I probably doesn't help). I think if benzos really, really help you with HP/flashbacks than you don't have HP/flashbacks really bad. Between spice and pot, B.C.-->HPPD, pot would be a better evil, now A.D.-HPPD, they are both pretty evil. Stop smoking spice buddy.

[Guest confusedperson]

i smoke pot not spice, spice is fake and completly pointless i did it llike twice a couple years ago and it doesnt even give you a buzz. but i havent taken anything for it so idk. i think it might have started happening after i tried lucid dreaming a few times but that seems kinda harmless.

[Guest skissussy]

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[myrslingerbult]

Since you're also from Sweden, I prefer Swedish.

Hej. Våra historier är väldigt lika, faktiskt läskigt lika. Jag fick också HPPD efter spice och allt kom i och med en Flashback tre veckor efter trippen. Jag känner igen mig i allt som du skriver och jag vet vilket jävla helvete som du går igenom. Jag har behövt forska kring HPPD väldigt mycket på egen hand och jag har fått kontakt med två andra svenskar som även de fått HPPD från spice, och de mår bättre nu. Jag pratar gärna mer med dig. Med vänliga hälsingar, Erik.

[Guest tmmg95]

i quit smoking pot due to anxiety attacks caused by it recently, and i couldve swore my pot was laced, but im not sure. I've had visual snow, and if i look o

at a tv screen, i can look at the ceiling and see an outline of it. of course with my anxiety, my worst fear is going crazy, and now i have developed mild social anxiety because i fear someone might put something in the food im eating or my drink. ive seem to have learned to control it better, and the hppd, sometimes i notice it and sometimes i just disregard it. i wonder if quitting pot has something to do with it,maybe the increased ocular pressure all of the sudden? and I've smoked spice once and i also had minor visuals along with severe anxiety and vomiting, but i never had a flashback or anything similar until a couple months ago when i smoked my "friends" pot, which his dealer had commented on possibly putting spice in his weed in the future as he was selling it to us. so im not sure what causes this either im just slightly annoyed by it, and at times its very unpleasant. and as far as derealization goes, i used to have that but i kept strong mentally and it went away. but i think mental toughness can prevail in the end. and disregard hallucinations when they happen and concentrate on your surroundings and the people around you, what you're doing and why you're doing it.

[Guest lianne stone]

My syptoms scare the hell out of me I constantly see what I discribe as heat waves on everything it looks like the curtains amd wallpaper is moving I also see black bubbles and dust flying at super speed I had a mental breakdown cause of it and a panic disorder ive just started anti depressants cause of it I think I cause it years ago by taking lsd with anti depressants and drinking lots even the occasional pot smoking im currently seeing doctors to help me find out what it is, I hope your symptoms stop soon as I no how scary it can be

[John Smith]

I smoked alot of spice post hppd when my symptoms werent that bad. HPPD can definitely be caused by spice in susceptible individuals. Some brands of spice are worse than others as well.

[myrslingerbult]

I got HPPD from spice and I know a lot of other people who got it from spice as well. Almost everything that can make you trip badly can give you HPPD.