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a little over a year into hppd


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I first started getting symptoms about 14 months ago, It is obvious that weed makes it more apparent, so i took a break off smoking for maybe 2 months. my symptoms went from having static as soon as i wake up and worsening throughout the day as i smoked. along with lots of very colorful and texture filled hallucinations when i got really baked. i was also into a hippy type of phase i guess and would meditate a lot while smoking. it was a very strong and different experience every time . i would also get morphing of walls or surfaces and other types of psychedelic experiences when smoking and still do.  but anyways it went from living like that to pretty close to back to normal. when i take t-breaks the intensity of it goes way down. i basically just have static vision and i cant look at bright lights. if i look at bright lights the shape is imprinted into my vision for a few minutes, even just headlights and night time. and when i look at the sky there are tons of floaters, if i am not wearing my sunglasses. after a while of on and off smoking i took another longer t-break after deciding it had gotten too intense for everyday life. when i stopped smoking i began having other problems. lots of bad anxiety and i lost tons of weight. it made me very under weight i am not going to lie. i had a few weeks where i could have a panic attack at any moment it was rough. i tried to start smoking again but that also just triggered panic attacks for a while until i was prescribed hydroxzine which for me, was a low dose central nervous system depressant. a safe anxiety medication that is safe for kids too. it helped me out enough to level me back out and i have been smoking again since then. i dont still take any medication. but i smoke daily. nowadays i have those same floaters and light sensitivity problems, but not really any hallucinations. maybe just closed eye visuals when im really baked and tired. static comes occasionally but it is not bad. i still have some anxiety problems but nothing close to before having daily panic attacks. what bothers me mostly (not back then, but more recent) is i get incredible chest pain and hard fast thumping heart rate out of no where. which for me i am 18 and i have had lots of tests done because of this. it is very concerning and feels like a cardiology problem at times. but my healthcare officials say i am extremely healthy and write it off as anxiety. i actually have a zio patch heart rate monitor on as i type this that was prescribed to me just to make sure. but i do have a history with anxiety and it is much more likely. 

Hppd itself isnt that bad for me inparticular but overall i do think it plays a part into my anxiety situation.

I would have replied this to my old post from last year but it says it doesnt exist anymore. I am pretty open to talk if u want to msg me something, go for it. i hope this gives some people hope or useful information. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Your heart rate issue is most likely associated with anxiety. Hallucinogens have the potential to greatly worsen anxiety. I have anxiety issues partially related to HPPD, but also partially related to abuse that I experienced as a child. Occasionally I will have a fast heart rate, especially when in uncomfortable environments like a doctor's office. I have learned to control most of my anxiety over many years of meditation and self-reflection. One positive lifestyle adaptation which greatly reduced the number of anxiety attacks that I experience was the elimination of caffeine from my diet. I also avoid alcohol. If possible, my recommendation to you would be to try to quit smoking and start practicing meditation. Specifically, shikantaza meditation helped me to accept those symptoms/thoughts beyond my immediate control and begin to develop improved mindfulness. 

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