Pros and cons of attaining a diagnosis

[Iterum]

Hi!

This is my first post on this forum. I came here because I think I have had the symptoms of this disorder for quite a while now and its getting progressively worse as time goes on. I am afraid and I have loads of anxiety because of my visual disturbances, therefore I would like to pose a few questions regarding a HPPD diagnosis. I am afraid of consequenses if I were to go to the doctors office and explain my symptoms, the consequenses that I fear is that I will loose my drivers license even though I feel comfortable driving cars in daylight, and that I might loose the medication I get for my ADHD. My initial thought is to not tell my doctor that I have experimented quite a bit with psychedelic substances just to get the testing done to make sure that it is no other physiological origin of my symptoms.

That would do for the introduction. Now to my actual questions:

1. Do the sweet people of this forum regard theese symptoms as typical for HPPD? Symptoms come here: I Have loads of visual ''noise'', and it encompasses my entire field of view. In a dark room the colour I see is static blue. I see walls breathing and pulsating. I have tracers especially when walking through doorways and when mooving my hand in front of my face. When I close my eyes, I have detailed after-imaging that often changes and morphs and dissapears then actually comes back even more clearly after a while. (this last part is difficult to describe in accuracy as it varies in behaviour). My symptoms get far worse at night, especially in dimmly lit rooms and if I am tired. Both coffee and nicotine seems to increase my symptoms drastically, especially if I combine the two. Also, amphetamine whch I have done a few times at parties actually makes it a lot worse, but not nearly as much as MDMA would which is as known far more psychedelic.

2. If it turns out that my symptoms is not due to HPPD, what other disorders can be the cause of my symptoms? I have actually had many of theese symptoms before experimenting with psychedelic drugs, but they have surely gotten way worse over the years. It also seems to increase in strenght even though I dont do any drugs, and that is a part that gives me loads of worry.

I hope I have been able to get my message across in a good way, my native language is not English so that would be the cause of any potential typos and poorely written sentences. I am very grateful for any respons and I am very thankful for this forum. If it turns out that my diagnosis is a fact by diagnosing it with a doctor then I will come back and hang around here more. Have a nice night, Iterum.

Edited July 19, 2020 by Iterum

[hppdsince1974-2]

Hi, I happened to notice your post is new and doesn't have any replies yet, I have a couple of thoughts. Your symptoms do sound consistent with HPPD.  You're asking questions though that only a knowledgeable doctor is really qualified to answer.

I'm curious whether you're also experiencing the emotional symptoms of HPPD: incredible depression and anxiety, fear and distress. Since you had those symptoms before experimenting with drugs, it sounds like you probably have something else going on that is  amplified by the use of drugs.

That's probably not much help, and I have the obvious suggestion that you see what happens if you stop using substances and see if your symptoms subside. 

 I would like to find out more about how we can find qualified doctors who are experienced with HPPD to go to with our symptoms and questions