Unsure if I have HPPD or Visual Snow - help?

[jackk10]

Hi everyone, 

Man, this is a long story. I’m currently 27 years old for reference. This is something I’ve never tackled head on, I’ve always just repressed and shrugged off. I hope you guys can help me with some insight and clarification. It will help me come to terms with what is going on. I promise I’m not a hypochondriac looking for reassurance, I’m purely looking for certainty with my condition. 

I’ll start off by touching on the fact that I have never been a full on drug user, rather just a teenager experimenting and partying with my friends. I would take the occasional pill and smoke some weed every so often at parties, which was always fun and no problems. 
 

One day when I was 16, I took a half pill (it barely worked) so then smoked a bunch of weed with my friends. 15 minutes later I was tripping balls, everything was shimmering, voices were echoing, I was hearing random sounds, seeing Pac-Mans on tiles, seeing faces in patterns, intense closed eye visuals when trying to sleep it off ect - it was horrible and put me off weed completely. The following days I had severe depersonalisation and panic attacks, I’ll never forget those horrible emotions I felt the days after, it was a nightmare. 
 

Weeks after, the anxiety diminished, however I noticed that I could look at objects and look away and the image would persist in about 70% detail and same colour - aka Palinopsia. I never really noticed this before, it was completely new to me, though I was consciously looking for visual symptoms at the time. I also had my first migraine with aura around this time, which I’ve had once a year ever since. I noticed I could see faces in patterns (I think this is normal though) and halos around lights, but it wasn’t that bad. For a while I was obsessed with playing with my Palinopsia and at the time, google didn’t bring up much, so I literally did not care what’s so ever about it in the end, it didn’t bother me, and I only noticed it when I wanted to notice it  

6 months after that horrible experience, I smoked some weed again (much less than I previously would) and started tripping mildly, nowhere near the same before, however it made me realise I could never smoke weed again and get the same high as previously, it was like my brain completely did a 180 on weed and reacted differently. I made the decision to never touch marijuana again, or even be in the same room as someone smoking. The palinopsia continued in the background and life went on normal, where sometimes I’d randomly notice the after images I’d shrug it off. 

11 years later, aka these days, ive lived a very normal drug free life, with the exception of getting drunk with mates. I’ve definitely noticed  strange things in my vision over time: 

example; sometimes when I fall asleep, I get intense imagery and sounds in my head, this begins right as I fall asleep - it’s very similar to the CEVS experienced from the night mentioned above. 
 

example 2: I get static in the evenings and dimly lit rooms, blue field entoptic phenomenon, mild photophobia. + ongoing Palinopsia. I never knew at the time what these symptoms actually were, so again I shrugged them off 

example 3: negative after images and a bizarre phenomenon where if I look at a bright yellow wall, it becomes a giant blob/after image within itself until I blink?

all these symptoms have been there for 11 years, maybe they’ve always been there but I never noticed them previously, only  after my bad drug experience. 

Now, the reason I am here and some questions I have for you guys. all these symptoms  have just become 10x worse for no reason (or maybe you can clarify this for me?)

3 months ago I thought I had Methonal poisoning whilst in Bali (I didn’t) however I read that going blind is a major sign you’ve been laced with methonal. I began to obsessively watch my vision for signs of going blind (this is likely due to my mild OCD) and this sent me into a horrible spiral of obsessively watching my vision. I ended up getting severe migraines from stress and very bad panic attacks. I started to come good for a while until recently. 
 

3 months ago I was driving along and realised I was looking at things and looking away to see if after images would persist subconsciously, and I had a massive panic attack and suddenly remembered that night when I took that pill and smoked weed. When I got home, I googled my symptoms - it lead me to visual snow and HPPD - something I had never heard of. Since learning about both disorders, I’ve become obsessed with checking for ALL the symptoms, which now my Palinopsoa is INTENSE and A LOT more vivid then ever, I can look at someone’s face and see it again when looking at a wall (they last less than a second, like a flash). I find myself looking for static and seeing it more, I get floaters more than ever and my anxiety levels are through the roof. 

all my symptoms mentioned above have become so much worse, which lead me to get numerous eye test, MRI, and seeing a renowned neurologist who leads research for Visual Snow in Australia. Everything in my brain and eyes are structurally perfect, no lessions or underlying medical issues. He diagnosed me with visual snow syndrome, despite me telling him about that horrible experience with drugs! He said that he highly doubts that it would be HPPD because it was such a low dose of XTC and marijuana “rarely causes it”. 
 

A big part of me thinks it’s HPPD, because I noticed all this ever since that night, but then again, maybe it’s always been there!? 
 

I hope you guys can give me advise based on your knowledge and experience and tell me whether my symptoms could be HPPD or not? I honestly believe you guys would know more than my neurologist, as you likely are more knowledgeable about HPPD, whereas he knows more about visual snow. 
 

1. Based on the above, could I have HPPD or Visual Snow?
2. Is it possible for HPPD to last 11 years considering I’ve never taken LSD?
3. Can the symptoms of HPPD/Visual snow get worse the more I obsess over it? 
4. If I did have HPPD, is it possible it has returned 11 years later much worse? Or is it the  health anxiety about the problem making it appear worse? I’ve not touched drugs to trigger anything/make it worse. 
5. are my symptoms consistent with yours? 
 

I think it’s worth noting I do not get warping walls or see strange colours swirls, it’s purely palinopsia that is most prominent and mild static. I feel like all my other visual disturbances are common in people  

I really appreciate it if you’ve made it this far. I just want to know your thoughts, as I am on the fence whether it’s HPPD or Visual Snow. 

Jack 

Edited May 1, 2020 by jackk10

[jackk10]

I also need to clarify that even though I’ve noticed all these symptoms at different times over the years, I’ve literally gone several  months, if not years, of not noticing the symptoms at all.
 

It’s so strange that all this would suddenly affect me so much out of the blue and be 10x worse than I’ve ever noticed, even worse than the weeks after the initial experience.. 

Edited May 3, 2020 by jackk10

[Spartan]

hello..

thanks for sharing. really interesting post.

I can really relate to some of the things you are sharing about / smoking weed triggering major events etc and other things you are describing.

I noticed you mentioned you are in Australia. Me too lol

If you would like, inbox me. I will give you my number.. we maybe able to break this down over the phone.

 

Cheers all the best !

[Aangtheairbender]

@jackk10

It sounds like the pill you took before you started smoking weed had some sort of hallucinogen in it. My best guess based off of the description of the trip you had it was probably pcp or acid. Judging by your description of your symptoms my best guess is that you have some form of low-level pre hppd symptoms. Everyone's hppd is different. For some people its a slow onset after multiple trips. For others they take acid once and they have hppd for life. I've had hppd for 4 years and most of my symptoms have gone down like i don't see tracers as often or as vividly. The one thing that does remain though is my visual snow. Based on the success stories that i've read most people stop experiencing the heavier hppd effects after a couple years but most people say that still have visual snow. 

I had a friend who never did any drugs only smoked weed a little but they got some stuff that was laced with pcp once and now he gets occasional warped vision/ minor trips. This honestly reminded me of that a lot from your description of everything. 

This is a general list of things that help me deal with hppd on a daily basis. 

Omega 3 fatty acid supplements. They help reduce my visual snow. The best way to get omega 3 fatty acids is through fish oil supplements, flax seed oil, chia seeds, and canola oil. I personally go with flax seed oil. If you start taking omega 3 supplements you also need to start taking vitamin e supplements because when you take omega 3 supplements it uses up the vitamin e in your body. You should ask your doctor about the proper dosages for omega 3 supplements and vitamin e should be because its different depending on your age and gender.

Magnesium supplements can reduce visual snow (go with magnesium glycinate supplements). 

Some people have success with taking valerian root tinctures to reduce visual symptoms; but be careful because if you take too much valerian root it can cause some weird side effects.

Migrain glasses / precision tinted glasses can help with both hppd and visual snow. I know they're a little expensive but if they can reduce my visual symptoms I think its worth the 100$. (https://www.theraspecs.com/shop/). They also block out blue light and help people see who are hypersensitive or light sensitive (photophobia). 

CBD supplements really help with my mood and help with some of the mental symptoms of hppd. The proper dose for CBD is between 20-100mg per serving. (20-30mg is the threshold level to get the medical benefits and the 50-100mg range is what people do to get the anti anxiety effects. Whenever I start to feel panicky I drink chamomile tea (2 bags) and it really calms me down. Meditation helps with mental symptoms. 

Valerian root low dose (vegan): https://www.amazon.com/NOW-Valerian-Root-500-Capsules/dp/B0019LTHXA/ref=sr_1_5?crid=Y8AQFLEQ6OXJ&dchild=1&keywords=valerian+root&qid=1593038567&sprefix=valerian+root%2Caps%2C196&sr=8-5

CBD Isolate tincture (isolated cbd crystals so there's 0%thc): (https://www.lazarusnaturals.com/shop/tinctures/cbd-flavorless-high-potency

Magnesium supplements (vegan): https://www.amazon.com/Magnesium-Glycinate-400mg-Bioavailable-Vegetarian/dp/B07ZD7R4RF/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=magnesium+glycinate+vegan&qid=1593038751&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyN1hLOUdDSlcwN041JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMzU2OTAzMlhGUUtJS1dZTjhVMSZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNzA3NDg3MUxIWVFNV1NJRDBVTiZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

Here’s a list of things that aggravate my hppd. .
 

1. Artificial Food coloring IE: Red #40, Red #3, Green #3, Yellow #5, Yellow #6, Blue #1, Blue #2. They might also be labeled FD&C Red 40 or FD&C Yellow 5. 
Artificial food colorings really made my hppd worse for a long time. Like it caused heavy color enhancements, increased visual snow, dizziness, and it made all my mental symptoms a lot worse. The thing that sucks is that I didn’t even know it was flaring up my symptoms because artificial coloring are in a lot of different types of food; not just candy and stuff.

2. Caffeine=color enhancements. 

3. Alcohol=wavy/ melty vision.  

4. Lack of sleep=heavier visual snow 

5. Drugs (duh)

Edited June 24, 2020 by David28
adding information

[NickMaxon17]

On 5/1/2020 at 9:03 AM, jackk10 said:

Hi everyone, 

Man, this is a long story. I’m currently 27 years old for reference. This is something I’ve never tackled head on, I’ve always just repressed and shrugged off. I hope you guys can help me with some insight and clarification. It will help me come to terms with what is going on. I promise I’m not a hypochondriac looking for reassurance, I’m purely looking for certainty with my condition. 

I’ll start off by touching on the fact that I have never been a full on drug user, rather just a teenager experimenting and partying with my friends. I would take the occasional pill and smoke some weed every so often at parties, which was always fun and no problems. 
 

One day when I was 16, I took a half pill (it barely worked) so then smoked a bunch of weed with my friends. 15 minutes later I was tripping balls, everything was shimmering, voices were echoing, I was hearing random sounds, seeing Pac-Mans on tiles, seeing faces in patterns, intense closed eye visuals when trying to sleep it off ect - it was horrible and put me off weed completely. The following days I had severe depersonalisation and panic attacks, I’ll never forget those horrible emotions I felt the days after, it was a nightmare. 
 

Weeks after, the anxiety diminished, however I noticed that I could look at objects and look away and the image would persist in about 70% detail and same colour - aka Palinopsia. I never really noticed this before, it was completely new to me, though I was consciously looking for visual symptoms at the time. I also had my first migraine with aura around this time, which I’ve had once a year ever since. I noticed I could see faces in patterns (I think this is normal though) and halos around lights, but it wasn’t that bad. For a while I was obsessed with playing with my Palinopsia and at the time, google didn’t bring up much, so I literally did not care what’s so ever about it in the end, it didn’t bother me, and I only noticed it when I wanted to notice it  

6 months after that horrible experience, I smoked some weed again (much less than I previously would) and started tripping mildly, nowhere near the same before, however it made me realise I could never smoke weed again and get the same high as previously, it was like my brain completely did a 180 on weed and reacted differently. I made the decision to never touch marijuana again, or even be in the same room as someone smoking. The palinopsia continued in the background and life went on normal, where sometimes I’d randomly notice the after images I’d shrug it off. 

11 years later, aka these days, ive lived a very normal drug free life, with the exception of getting drunk with mates. I’ve definitely noticed  strange things in my vision over time: 

example; sometimes when I fall asleep, I get intense imagery and sounds in my head, this begins right as I fall asleep - it’s very similar to the CEVS experienced from the night mentioned above. 
 

example 2: I get static in the evenings and dimly lit rooms, blue field entoptic phenomenon, mild photophobia. + ongoing Palinopsia. I never knew at the time what these symptoms actually were, so again I shrugged them off 

example 3: negative after images and a bizarre phenomenon where if I look at a bright yellow wall, it becomes a giant blob/after image within itself until I blink?

all these symptoms have been there for 11 years, maybe they’ve always been there but I never noticed them previously, only  after my bad drug experience. 

Now, the reason I am here and some questions I have for you guys. all these symptoms  have just become 10x worse for no reason (or maybe you can clarify this for me?)

3 months ago I thought I had Methonal poisoning whilst in Bali (I didn’t) however I read that going blind is a major sign you’ve been laced with methonal. I began to obsessively watch my vision for signs of going blind (this is likely due to my mild OCD) and this sent me into a horrible spiral of obsessively watching my vision. I ended up getting severe migraines from stress and very bad panic attacks. I started to come good for a while until recently. 
 

3 months ago I was driving along and realised I was looking at things and looking away to see if after images would persist subconsciously, and I had a massive panic attack and suddenly remembered that night when I took that pill and smoked weed. When I got home, I googled my symptoms - it lead me to visual snow and HPPD - something I had never heard of. Since learning about both disorders, I’ve become obsessed with checking for ALL the symptoms, which now my Palinopsoa is INTENSE and A LOT more vivid then ever, I can look at someone’s face and see it again when looking at a wall (they last less than a second, like a flash). I find myself looking for static and seeing it more, I get floaters more than ever and my anxiety levels are through the roof. 

all my symptoms mentioned above have become so much worse, which lead me to get numerous eye test, MRI, and seeing a renowned neurologist who leads research for Visual Snow in Australia. Everything in my brain and eyes are structurally perfect, no lessions or underlying medical issues. He diagnosed me with visual snow syndrome, despite me telling him about that horrible experience with drugs! He said that he highly doubts that it would be HPPD because it was such a low dose of XTC and marijuana “rarely causes it”. 
 

A big part of me thinks it’s HPPD, because I noticed all this ever since that night, but then again, maybe it’s always been there!? 
 

I hope you guys can give me advise based on your knowledge and experience and tell me whether my symptoms could be HPPD or not? I honestly believe you guys would know more than my neurologist, as you likely are more knowledgeable about HPPD, whereas he knows more about visual snow. 
 

1. Based on the above, could I have HPPD or Visual Snow?
2. Is it possible for HPPD to last 11 years considering I’ve never taken LSD?
3. Can the symptoms of HPPD/Visual snow get worse the more I obsess over it? 
4. If I did have HPPD, is it possible it has returned 11 years later much worse? Or is it the  health anxiety about the problem making it appear worse? I’ve not touched drugs to trigger anything/make it worse. 
5. are my symptoms consistent with yours? 
 

I think it’s worth noting I do not get warping walls or see strange colours swirls, it’s purely palinopsia that is most prominent and mild static. I feel like all my other visual disturbances are common in people  

I really appreciate it if you’ve made it this far. I just want to know your thoughts, as I am on the fence whether it’s HPPD or Visual Snow. 

Jack 

It is possible with any hallucinogenic drug and what might help with the symptoms you describe is to try to the best of your ability to not think that it won't ever go away do things to keep your mind off hppd 

[Onemorestep]

I’m sorry to hear you are suffering. It might feel very bad, but I assure you your hppd is in a good place compared to many of you are going years without complaints. It’s horrible, even when mild like yours, but I hope that statement helps what is clearly some very high (understandably) anxiety. 
 

hppd will not cause you to go blind, thank god. It doesn’t tend to get worse as long as your stress is under control and you are abstaining from drugs and alcohol. Honestly have drinks with friends in moderation and enjoy life as much as you can. If alcohol gives you anxiety, day or the week after, avoid it when you can. 
 

The power of the mind is amazing and we often are what we are focusing on. This usually isn’t advice I give if I’m being honest. Usually I’m very medication oriented. But if I was to offer suggestions for something that might help, it is breathing properly.

 

The diaphram, the. upper chest, then belly. 3 seconds in, 12 seconds out. Or 6/18, 2/12, 1/20. What’s important is that your intake faster and your exhale is slower. This will cause your vagus nerve to calm, and reduce the amount of adrenaline being produced in your brain and body. Cortisol will lower and you will leave fight or flight. It can be hard getting in the habit of breathing like this but I promise you over time it will very much help your brain and body heal. This consistently makes my visuals better, but not visual snow. My visual snow stays fairly regular no matter what.