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What is your worst strugle with the HPPD guys??


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Anxiety, it was literally insane for me, it wasn’t from the other symptoms either, it was a thing of its own, it destroyed me every day, it was literally crippling. I never knew it was possible to suffer so much, back pain from herniation isn’t even close to comparable, maybe severe pain from a tooth infection, but i would even take that any day over HPPD, its not comparable to a physical pain.. The anxiety was so bad I wanted to just die, i remember the only time I got any relief was when I went to sleep.i spent so many years in so much pain that even today it effects me emotionally, like I’m scarred, sometimes I enjoy life so little because it was so bad that I think maybe I should still kill myself, like I said I never knew it was possible to suffer so much.

Edited by Fawkinchit
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9 hours ago, Fawkinchit said:

Anxiety, it was literally insane for me, it wasn’t from the other symptoms either, it was a thing of its own, it destroyed me every day, it was literally crippling. I never knew it was possible to suffer so much, back pain from herniation isn’t even close to comparable, maybe severe pain from a tooth infection, but i would even take that any day over HPPD, its not comparable to a physical pain.. The anxiety was so bad I wanted to just die, i remember the only time I got any relief was when I went to sleep.i spent so many years in so much pain that even today it effects me emotionally, like I’m scarred, sometimes I enjoy life so little because it was so bad that I think maybe I should still kill myself, like I said I never knew it was possible to suffer so much.

Ohh man thats terrible, i totally understand you, i rather take any phisicall pain i had experienced  instead of that horrible feeling, its like you are about to die every minute but death just dont come, i think you suffered more than me so i cant imagine, but i understand you completely, i hope you get better bro, maybe  your sufering post traumatic disorder now but it will go away, hope the best for you man, peace 

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7 hours ago, Jay1 said:

I would say the trippy thought processes.... It makes even the simplest task or conversation into something where I feel i'm clinging onto my sanity. 

ohh man, for what i had read from you, you have several years dealing with this disorder rigth? oh man i can imagine how strong you have been, im in few months and i feel like im just so tired. 

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Primary visuals.  That and the "alien thinking" that countless doses burned into my skull.  Neil Young wrote a lyric that is appropriate.

"Like visitors from space, it's hard to find a place, to blend in and go unrecognized".

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18 hours ago, und3rlif3 said:

ohh man, for what i had read from you, you have several years dealing with this disorder rigth? oh man i can imagine how strong you have been, im in few months and i feel like im just so tired. 

25 years in June! What a morbid milestone!

Just remember those first months and years (hopefully you don't get into the years part though) are always the toughest. Keep on fighting, Jay.

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5 hours ago, Jay1 said:

25 years in June! What a morbid milestone!

Just remember those first months and years (hopefully you don't get into the years part though) are always the toughest. Keep on fighting, Jay.

oh! man how tough must had been, thank for the hope bro. Peace

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I got my HPPD from nBOME as a disclaimer.

the only real shitty symptoms that interfere with my life are sudden flashbacks if I’m sleep deprived. It’s making me reconsider my path to med school since sleep loss is basically mandatory even though the flashbacks are rare (happens maybe once every 2 months, it’s been less common as time goes by so hopefully it’ll phase out). Other than that, I’ve gotten used to everything else. The anxiety I used to have is unnoticeable, as are the visuals and thought loops. This doesn’t mean they’re gone, it just means that I have to focus on them for them to be relevant, it’s as if I’m ignoring them and putting them into the background. 

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