General advice

[Jay1]

It did for me.... MDMA ruined my life.

Here's a tip... Every single drug has the potential to make this worse, literally every single one.

[Tistik]

It seems like I have all the symptoms sorted out, like I have an idea of what they all are. But there is one symptom that I haven’t seen anyone talk about and I’m really anxious about it, when I go to sleep or when I’m in a dark room, I see black shapes that morph around in my peripheral vision, (like my far peripherals) and it scares me because every time I look it up, i convince myself I have retinal detachment, but it’s been happening for like years I’m sure, and retinal detachment happens Fast like in days, or within a week, and I’ve only started paying attention to it recently, so I notice it all the time, I can deal with it, I just want to know if it’s normal for someone with HPPD to have this. So what I was wondering was, does anyone else get this? Anything would be good just so I know thanks. Also I’m blind in one eye so I don’t know if I could be seeing a little bit out of my blind eye and that’s why I only see it in the dark? Honestly I’m clueless.

[dayum_son]

I have this too when very tired and I got sleep. I have it in my whole field of view though. It's like if shadows move around along with the static.

[Tistik]

Like pitch black?? Because I get that too around my whole vision but with multi colours but I get the other thing and it’s in the peripherals and pitch black, I feel like it  might be different maybe? Idk 

[oscar21]

On 11/24/2018 at 3:46 PM, Tistik said:

It seems like I have all the symptoms sorted out, like I have an idea of what they all are. But there is one symptom that I haven’t seen anyone talk about and I’m really anxious about it, when I go to sleep or when I’m in a dark room, I see black shapes that morph around in my peripheral vision, (like my far peripherals) and it scares me because every time I look it up, i convince myself I have retinal detachment, but it’s been happening for like years I’m sure, and retinal detachment happens Fast like in days, or within a week, and I’ve only started paying attention to it recently, so I notice it all the time, I can deal with it, I just want to know if it’s normal for someone with HPPD to have this. So what I was wondering was, does anyone else get this? Anything would be good just so I know thanks. Also I’m blind in one eye so I don’t know if I could be seeing a little bit out of my blind eye and that’s why I only see it in the dark? Honestly I’m clueless.

I am not sure if i understand what you mean but I guess so. I was really shocked when i noticed the first time, it was like i was seeing some kind of letters attached to each other in a circle spinning around. When i focus on it they become coloured and they seem to be letters but I cant "catch" them... Its weird as hell but i guess i can live with it..

[Seafish]

I've had something going on for the past few months, I ate 300 ug of lsd ( after eating 1000 - 3000 ug minimum once a week for 6 months or so with no issues) and had a terrible trip. To keep it simple I basically thought I was choking on my tounge and swallowing it for a day or 2, full ego death and then I started. Com I g back. I have full on off the wall visuals and conversations with somone other than myself who seems too be in my head on a pretty regular basis somever sense but no issue with my tongue or anything.

5 months ago I choked on something eating dinner and couldn't eat after because it feels like in choking whenever I do( as well as since then having lots of anxiety, depression, panic attacks, etc.), I've had just about every test they can do and was told last week that their a nothing wrong with me physically and its just in my head. I'm losing hope more Nd more everyday and I don't know what to do anymore. if you can please help

[Kleine]

I am in the process of divorcing myself from my family and moving to another state to start a new life and it was my own decision nobody helped me with this decision however they are trying to stop me and make me believe that I need them and cannot be self sufficient and independent I no longer believe the lies I seek my truth and my beliefs in live it is mine not yours mine. It is my blood family I have never been married and have no children

[Robbiebanks]

On 10/10/2018 at 8:58 AM, Jay1 said:

It did for me.... MDMA ruined my life.

Here's a tip... Every single drug has the potential to make this worse, literally every single one.

So did you get hppd from lsd or mdma or did you already have hppd and then took mdma and it made it worse?

[Jay1]

9 hours ago, Robbiebanks said:

So did you get hppd from lsd or mdma or did you already have hppd and then took mdma and it made it worse?

I had mild hppd from LSD, then started taking mdma and made it severe. 

[Blossy]

You know, I recent months love been thinking about how much the Extacy tablets ( MDMA ) also added to this thing of mine/ours. Many, many years beyond "that night" when I was 16 when the LSD opened a door i've been struggling to close since, I took lots of crazy hallucinogenic tablets after the initial euphoric E's started to disappear and they got all 'smacky' and heavy on the visuals - sometimes I do wonder how much that contributed to this. I actually handled those days and nights well as I was in my very late teens and early 20's and was enjoying the 'rave generation' I guess, and sometimes I put down my age and inexperience of these drugs back at the start down to the HPPD ever starting!

It's funny too, my major anxiety I suffer is of 'that night' that I had the worst time i've ever had on this planet, and the worry of it happening again - literally my life ( connection to reality! ) feels like its on a knife edge, and i'm working hard to tell myself its not, and manage the anxiety - in general thanks to this forum! But I never or rarely ever think about other mind-bending nights i've had on LSD and E's, which in all honestly and at the time, were some of the best times covered in good music and lifelong friends!!!

Who knows, the answer will never be clear but I really do think the water ( for me anyway ) is a bit muddier that simply being one night giving me this condition I live with every minute of every day. One night definitely changed me, but maybe a decade of misuse after that really made me......

We shall solder on, and for ref, if I could go back in time I would never, ever touch any of these things back in the 90's and 00's we used to call 'recreational'.

 

x

 

 

Edited November 19, 2021 by Blossy

[Blossy]

Digressing there form the thread title, my general advice to anyone, stop the hallucinogenics and smoking dope, eat well, sleep well, have a busy brain - immerse yourself in good things. Manage your anxiety as best as poss. 

[Jay1]

17 hours ago, Blossy said:

You know, I recent months love been thinking about how much the Extacy tablets ( MDMA ) also added to this thing of mine/ours. Many, many years beyond "that night" when I was 16 when the LSD opened a door i've been struggling to close since, I took lots of crazy hallucinogenic tablets after the initial euphoric E's started to disappear and they got all 'smacky' and heavy on the visuals - sometimes I do wonder how much that contributed to this. I actually handled those days and nights well as I was in my very late teens and early 20's and was enjoying the 'rave generation' I guess, and sometimes I put down my age and inexperience of these drugs back at the start down to the HPPD ever starting!

Its funny too, my major anxiety I suffer is of 'that night' that I had the worst time i've ever had on this planet, and the worry of it happening again - literally my life ( connection to neality! ) feels like its on a a knife edge, and i'm working hard to tell myself its not, and manage the anxiety - in general thanks to this forum! But I never or rarely ever think about other mind-bending nights i've had on LSD and E's, which in all honestly and at the time, were some of the best times covered in good music and lifelong friends!!!

Who knows, the answer will never be clear but I really do think the water ( for me anyway ) is a bit muddier that simply being one night giving me this condition I live with every minute of every day. One night definitely changed me, but maybe a decade of misuse after that really made me......

We shall solder on, and for ref, if I could go back in time I would never, ever touch any of these things back in the 90's and 00's we used to call 'recreational'.

 

x

 

 

Your story sounds very similar to mine... I can pinpoint one specific night on LSD that changed everything (microdot at glastonbury festival, 1995)... But even though I use that night as the start of my serious hppd battle... the mdma use after that added a lot to the overall nature of my hppd and made it a much darker place. 

[Blossy]

Agreed Jay, I do remember in the early 90's alot of talk about the new drug that kids were taking ( E ) and the  potential long term effects of it, I guess HPPD is one of them, and I wonder, is it more common than we know as literally ALL my friends were immersed in the scene back in the day.

[Blossy]

Alot of talk about HPPD is pinned down on LSD, but let's face it, some of the trips I had of E's were every bit as heavy as tabs or dots, especially mid 90's when the quality of the pills really started to decline.

[Jay1]

I used to rave with a group of about 20, i've chatted to quite a few of them about mental health in general and pretty much no one escaped scott free... Three that i have chatted to have visual snow and see occasional tracers and after images, but it is not enough to cause them any worry. 2 of the group got drug induced psychosis. Others depression and anxiety. 

tbf we did hit it a bit hard though 

[Robbiebanks]

On 11/16/2021 at 12:41 AM, Jay1 said:

I had mild hppd from LSD, then started taking mdma and made it severe. 

Ohh ok just trying to compare your story with mine I’ve had hppd for 5 years from lsd..in that time I would still do mdma which now I see prolonged my recovery but at the time didn’t seem to make my visuals worse then covid hit and didn’t do any drugs or anything because I mainly did it at festivals so I think that got my recovery to 90 percent but maybe 2 1/2 months ago I did mdma again took to much and had a very bad come down where I was thinking too much and couldn’t sleep till 4 the next day..Now my symptoms have increased way more..the thing that bothers me the most tho is I feel in my mind my condition is going to get worse everyday which sends me in a worry,then anxiety then derealization I know it takes time just like I had to deal with it before but I’m just upset at myself because I relapsed…Haven’t done any drugs since and haven’t drank for a month any new advice you can share?or how are you doing with your condition thank you

[Blossy]

On 11/20/2021 at 9:58 AM, Jay1 said:

I used to rave with a group of about 20, i've chatted to quite a few of them about mental health in general and pretty much no one escaped scott free... Three that i have chatted to have visual snow and see occasional tracers and after images, but it is not enough to cause them any worry. 2 of the group got drug induced psychosis. Others depression and anxiety. 

tbf we did hit it a bit hard though 

Haha, well, we had a saying back in those days called the "Skid", and "Skidding" was effectively coming down, all that 'sparkly' and spaced our way and often we would talk about sometimes 'it' not wearing off till maybe a Tuesday and then we would start to look forward to the coming weekend and it would all start again - 2 days with not sleep and a Sunday climbing the walls or drinking heavily or taking lots of 'Jellies' and Valium to get to sleep! ! As we got older we used to talk about the "Perma-skid" which was a feeling some of us felt that the drugs never actually wore off, and now in my mature years I look back and think, was this a mild HPPD that the guys were experiencing, and is this "Perma-skid" real and what we now know as HPPD! I know how severe mine has been ( and as ive mentioned before teh night and subsequent flash-back that triggered it ) and the challenges it has given me in life, but after being on this forum it does seem as if there are varying levels of how this condition affects us and makes me think, do more of the lads ( many of whom I am still good friends with and socialise with to this day ) dealing with the same......

At one point Jay we used to call ourselves "The Brotherhood of Waste", I do think our groups would have got on well back in those days! Haha! x

 

 

[Blossy]

On 11/21/2021 at 1:13 AM, Robbiebanks said:

Ohh ok just trying to compare your story with mine I’ve had hppd for 5 years from lsd..in that time I would still do mdma which now I see prolonged my recovery but at the time didn’t seem to make my visuals worse then covid hit and didn’t do any drugs or anything because I mainly did it at festivals so I think that got my recovery to 90 percent but maybe 2 1/2 months ago I did mdma again took to much and had a very bad come down where I was thinking too much and couldn’t sleep till 4 the next day..Now my symptoms have increased way more..the thing that bothers me the most tho is I feel in my mind my condition is going to get worse everyday which sends me in a worry,then anxiety then derealization I know it takes time just like I had to deal with it before but I’m just upset at myself because I relapsed…Haven’t done any drugs since and haven’t drank for a month any new advice you can share?or how are you doing with your condition thank you

You know, in late 1996 I was taking alot of E/MDMA, and I swear, when I was massively out of it is when I felt the greatest release from my HPPD, by that time ( I was 20 ) I knew that mentally something had really gone wrong in my head, and the E/MDMA really did give me massive, and almost complete relief - but only when I was fully under the influence of the pills. Man, the human brain, what a piece of engineering.

[Blossy]

On 11/21/2021 at 1:13 AM, Robbiebanks said:

Ohh ok just trying to compare your story with mine I’ve had hppd for 5 years from lsd..in that time I would still do mdma which now I see prolonged my recovery but at the time didn’t seem to make my visuals worse then covid hit and didn’t do any drugs or anything because I mainly did it at festivals so I think that got my recovery to 90 percent but maybe 2 1/2 months ago I did mdma again took to much and had a very bad come down where I was thinking too much and couldn’t sleep till 4 the next day..Now my symptoms have increased way more..the thing that bothers me the most tho is I feel in my mind my condition is going to get worse everyday which sends me in a worry,then anxiety then derealization I know it takes time just like I had to deal with it before but I’m just upset at myself because I relapsed…Haven’t done any drugs since and haven’t drank for a month any new advice you can share?or how are you doing with your condition thank you

Sorry, advice, for me the best advice is to try and manage your anxiety. You are definitely not alone. 

[Lucas]

4 hours ago, Blossy said:

You know, in late 1996 I was taking alot of E/MDMA, and I swear, when I was massively out of it is when I felt the greatest release from my HPPD, by that time ( I was 20 ) I knew that mentally something had really gone wrong in my head, and the E/MDMA really did give me massive, and almost complete relief - but only when I was fully under the influence of the pills. Man, the human brain, what a piece of engineering.

Same for me with shrooms, after the first hallucinogenic surge I feel completely calm and 100% relieved from HPPD, I get delusions of sobriety even after taking lot of grams and just feel soooooo good... But the weeks after that are worse than before...

[Jay1]

12 hours ago, Blossy said:

At one point Jay we used to call ourselves "The Brotherhood of Waste", I do think our groups would have got on well back in those days! Haha! x

Haha, well... If you ever were clubbing in Birmingham or any uk festivals, there's a chance we probably did share a sweaty hug at some point!

[Blossy]

2 hours ago, Jay1 said:

Haha, well... If you ever were clubbing in Birmingham or any uk festivals, there's a chance we probably did share a sweaty hug at some point!

Hahhaha, good times my friend!!!

[clean]

On 11/24/2021 at 12:42 PM, Lucas said:

Same for me with shrooms, after the first hallucinogenic surge I feel completely calm and 100% relieved from HPPD, I get delusions of sobriety even after taking lot of grams and just feel soooooo good... But the weeks after that are worse than before...

what drugs do you continue to do? and which ones dont affect it?

[...]

I would not add insult to injury by taking any drugs. For me, the best is a good natural way of life. It is the closest I can come to having my feet on the ground again...almost on the ground. 

[DiscourseMage]

The drug scene is overplayed anyway. What we confuse about life is where the satisfaction should go, that's love, work, exercise, learning, doing. Religion has helped me understand where the time and energy should go in order to interpret the majesty of nature and existence cleanly. Get whitepilled after all that grunge and throwaway attitude.