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So I'm just trying to find some commonalities amongst all of us and determine what the main culprit in causing HPPD is(i.e. frequency, dosage, substance). So if you could just list the drugs you used up until HPPD and what substances you used after HPPD and how frequently, I'd appreciate it. Also, if you could state whether or not your HPPD was instantaneous after a particular experience or gradual.....I guess really I just want like as detailed of an account as your trying to give from the time you started using drugs up until this point. If you don't wanna read this entire thing(It's kinda long) just skip to the bottom.

Story:

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{So for me I smoked weed for about a year before my HPPD "hit" I had done ecstasy around 20-25 times, taken LSD about 5 times, shrooms once, cocaine twice, and pills every now and then(klonopin, xanax, vicodin) but not very often. The bulk of my ecstasy use was the summer before I got into LSD.......After all my ecstasy use I had a little HPPD, I would see trails on certain things and I had a little light sensitivity but nothing out of control. It really didn't bother me at all, everything just looked a little more vibrant and alive. So then sophomore year(when I started using LSD) of college I found a LSD hook up and started trippin. I tripped 3 times over like 1 1/2 months and felt completely fine. No anxiety or weird visuals and my weed highs were still normal. Then I took like a 2 week break and then tripped acid twice more within like 3 weeks of each other. After these two trips things started to go down hill.

These last 2 acid trips I had were terrible. I was really paranoid and one of my friends was screwing with me the entire time and the experiences left me in some odd state of mind. Afterwards things started to look a little "acid-like" when I was sober but I still felt like everything was ok. However whenever I would smoke weed I started to clam up and have a lot of anxiety and couldn't really speak straight at all. So I decided to take a break on weed for Christmas break and when I tried to smoke once second semester started the problems were like 20 times worse. From here on out things gradually got worse and worse, I tried to continue smoking as I thought if I regained my tolerance weed would go back to normal. After a bit of this the weird delusional thoughts and anxiety started creeping into my sober life and I decided to stop smoking weed. But, I did decide to do DMT twice and LSD once in an attempt to have a good experience and maybe redirect where everything was heading. It didn't really help....it made the visuals slightly worse but overall was just a waste of time and money.

So I decided to stop with all the psychedelics and was "sober" for about a month before I went to a 2 day rave. I took ecstasy both days thinking I could never have a bad experience with that but did and that weekend worsened my visuals quite a bit. So........about a month later I got hit with DP and that was about 7 months ago.....I've taken ecstasy twice since DP hit.....Once was terrible and once was actually enjoyable. I've been more or less sober since around August except for a few drinks from time to time. So yea that's my drug story.....all of that was within about a year and a half from the first time I smoked weed to the time I got DP.}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I don't expect most people to of read all of that but mainly what I'm wanting is just to know what you believe the main culprit of your DP/DR/HPPD was. I think for me it was the two negative experiences I had on LSD. Those two experiences just set in a negative undertone to my subsequent drug use from that point forward. I feel like if I had kept the same frequency of drug usage but avoided those negative trips then I never would've developed anxiety that never would've led to DP and I don't believe my HPPD would've gotten as bad.

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Very true. Psychedelic tolerance builds up faster than any other drug in my experience... But the tolerance that was built up goes away pretty quick. The only way to habitually trip is to switch up th

10 shrooms trips, 1 on LSD, quit all drugs because of a horrible experience with laced weed, 5 months after my last shroom trip (4 since the bad experience) i got hit with mild hppd. Did nothing for 3 months, started smoking, drinking, and takin pills (somethin which i wouldve never considered before all this) symptoms slowly got worse, then got hit with mild dp about 5 months into drug use, a bad bender sent me over the edge...all in all, it took almost a year from the time i got HPPD, to the time i got DP, all due to my inability to quit drugs for extended periods of time

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I had ecstasy about twice and smoked weed maybe 20 or so times. I then had srooms 3 weekends in a row and BANG 3rd trip i was seeing static that night when i was coming off it. Next day it was dp. With in a month or 2 it was feeling brain dead.

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i dont drink very often. I've smoked weed less than 10 times. One shroom trip (I took a little over an 8th, which i found out later was about twice what I needed) caused my issues.

It sucks cause i take real good care of myself usually, I workout a little each day and always eat healthy. I feel like this is really shitty luck.

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i dont drink very often. I've smoked weed less than 10 times. One shroom trip (I took a little over an 8th, which i found out later was about twice what I needed) caused my issues.

It sucks cause i take real good care of myself usually, I workout a little each day and always eat healthy. I feel like this is really shitty luck.

Did you have a bad trip on your shrooms experience or was it positive??

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Ive smoked since may last year but 3 acid trips in december caused mine, the first was amazing and the second one went bad (but recovered after a little bit). After the 2nd one I had geometric visual snow for 3 days but it dissapeared after 3 days...I really wish i didn't trip a third time. Its been 2 months since the 3rd trip and the visuals are still here. One night about a week after developing hppd I had kind of a mini flashback (room looked foggy and bright, visual snow got really bad, and I felt kinda weird inside) and I had a dp episode, it might just have been anxiety or fear but I just didn't feel like myself. I didnt quit smoking until today because one night when I got reaaally fried about a week ago I started seeing trails again and they aren't that bad when I'm sober but they are super noticable when I'm high. So I know that weed made a new symptom and LSD started it.

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Scares me to even think....

50+ LSD trips

20+ shrooms

100s of E's

20+ grams of MDMA

100s grams of coke

100s grams of speed

too much weed to remember

too many nights on the booze to remember

I'm lucky to only have hppd really.... some of my mates are proper pyscho now.... think the TV is talking to them and stuff

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I can't really say with any accuracy but the main culprits for me were MDMA (way to many E pills to remember, probably almost a boat, and a 3 week molly binge), LSD (sheets and sheets for about 3 years), mescaline (actual payote but mostly home cooked extracts from San Pedro and Peruvian Torch cacti), 2C-E, and foxy... I have only drank a few times, and other than dexedrine taken as prescribed, I have hardly used any stimulants. Coke maybe a few different nights but nothing I can attribute my HPPD to. I have also done a lot of the newer "research chemicals", and most of them have severely aggravated my condition. I have used a lot of ketamine, and have been a heroin addict for the majority of my life, up until 6 months ago. Been clean from everything ever since, but things have not gotten any better in all my clean time... That is why I joined this sight.

I can attribute my original symptoms to a single night which was compounded with about 2 months of chronic phenethylamine/triptamine use prior to the incident itself. I was on this regimen where I would do a phenethylamine derivative one day and a triptamine the next. My routine was something like this: MDMA one day, LSD the next, mescaline the next, 2 or 3 day break, followed by mushrooms of some sort (mostly Psi. cubes). I would take a few days off and start all over again. during this time I was smoking and growing good strains of bud, and wouldn't go a day without cannabis... Ever. One night I was 20some pills deep and me and a few friends were well into a sheet when I had a seizure type thing (probably attributed to MDMA overdose compounded by a bunch of other horrible things I had put into my body that night). After that incident I have had some relatively mild symptoms compared to the way things are now... But the visuals and mental stuff still made it hard to function. I was just smoking weed, doing a lot of ketamine, and using oxycontin/heroin for a few years after that. I had been using opiates prior to, but they seemed to help my symptoms so if anything it was an excuse to accelerate my usage.

After being free from psychedelics for about a few years, things started to get better. I had lost my humility from the experience that night, and I was ready to start tripping again. I purchased some 2C-E online, and that is when things got much, much worse. I was weighing the powder on some lab scales, and me and a friend had finished and were about to pull off our nitrile gloves. I thought, being the dumb ass I am, that there wouldn't be much powder on the gloves. So, for fun, I licked them and shit has been real rough ever since. I couldn't accurately tell my dose that day but I know it was a lot more than any dose of 2C-E I've ever done before.

It boggles my mind that someone could get HPPD from only using psychedelics just a few times... It makes me think how lucky I am not to be in a mental hospital.

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I started a few days before my 10th B-day but I didn't use opis or psychedelics till about 12. My parents who adopted me had a lot of money, but for the most part I sold to fund my habits... But yeah it has been quite expensive It has been fun but never again, you know?

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Scares me to even think....

50+ LSD trips

20+ shrooms

100s of E's

20+ grams of MDMA

100s grams of coke

100s grams of speed

too much weed to remember

too many nights on the booze to remember

I'm lucky to only have hppd really.... some of my mates are proper pyscho now.... think the TV is talking to them and stuff

Damn dude you were out of control........over how many years did all that go down??

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2с-p couple expiriences

pcp nearly thirty times

dxm the same

dob -5-6 times

doi - 3

25c-nbome 6 times

2c-i 6-8 times

3 ayahuascas

5-meo-mipt 2

5-meo-dalt -1

lsd dozen of times

mdpv - ??

4fa - 10g

Speed - ??

Shrooms 2 times

Did phentanyl couple times.

Hash and jwh in headexploding amounts.

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damn yall did alot of drugs... it only took me a handful of acid trips and a gram or two of MDMA among other things before i started getting symptoms and DP episodes. thank god i found this site and stopped when i learned how much worse it could get.

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Damn dude you were out of control........over how many years did all that go down??

Probably from 13 on the weed and acid.... ramping up to a major party from 16 to 20... very hazy teenage years. My last blow out was June 1996, so I would have been almost 20. After that, I just had a few slip ups on mdma and coke.... but that was the end of my big drug binge.

Some very, very good times, which maybe helps me keep my spirits up, even with all this crazy shit..... I can't imagine you guys who just got it after a couple of trips, it must be soul destorying.... at least I knew the fine line I was walking and had stared into these depths many times before... almost toying with it.... so when it reached breaking point, I kind of embraced it (maybe even wanted it? Nothing like a mental breakdown to help you to quit the party)

To do your first trip and enter this hell must be the absolute worst, most heart wrenching thing I can imagine.

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Probably from 13 on the weed and acid.... ramping up to a major party from 16 to 20... very hazy teenage years. My last blow out was June 1996, so I would have been almost 20. After that, I just had a few slip ups on mdma and coke.... but that was the end of my big drug binge.

Some very, very good times, which maybe helps me keep my spirits up, even with all this crazy shit..... I can't imagine you guys who just got it after a couple of trips, it must be soul destorying.... at least I knew the fine line I was walking and had stared into these depths many times before... almost toying with it.... so when it reached breaking point, I kind of embraced it (maybe even wanted it? Nothing like a mental breakdown to help you to quit the party)

To do your first trip and enter this hell must be the absolute worst, most heart wrenching thing I can imagine.

i never entered hppd hell. but i absolutely developed full-range (like every symptom ive heard of) moderate symptoms from just a handful of uses. im curious by what you mean by this though. are you saying you still appreciate the really good times you had from drugs and then can accept it and put it behind you in a way? In a way i wish i could still live out all the drug experiences i still wanted t do.... but them am confronted by the fucked upness that my DP episodes bring and that makes me accept that i cant to drugs anymore. the negatives WAAAAY out weigh the benefits. but the temptation is ALWAYS there. tonight i slipped up after i took a .5mg klon. then pint of whiskey. then a 20 mg adderall. nothing too crazy.... but it still shows how much im risking even though i know DP could fuck me down the line..

needless to say i feel fuckin good but i know im gonna regret what i just pulled. damnit. after 2 month of soberiety.

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Some times I do get pissed off i got mine so easily. I have the same problem of wanting to keep going though. Just at a music festival or a good gig. If i could just pop a pill once every couple of months. Even try LSD just once to see what its really like. In the end though nothing good comes from drugs and I'm better off cleaning my self up now before I do some thing worse. I only have my self to blame for my situation. I'd find it so much harder to accept if I was in visuals position and someone els gave it to me. (guessing by what you said sounded like someones mistake)

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Some times I do get pissed off i got mine so easily. I have the same problem of wanting to keep going though. Just at a music festival or a good gig. If i could just pop a pill once every couple of months. Even try LSD just once to see what its really like. In the end though nothing good comes from drugs and I'm better off cleaning my self up now before I do some thing worse. I only have my self to blame for my situation. I'd find it so much harder to accept if I was in visuals position and someone els gave it to me. (guessing by what you said sounded like someones mistake)

I feel you man. i've been struggling to keep off of drugs completely. but i 100% gave up weed, hallucinogens and MDMA. dont fuck with that shit ever again. Ive been tempted to trip hard "one last time" to get it out of my system. but that one time could REALLY set you off into hppd hell cause you never know, everybody is different, and its playing straight russian roulette with your brain. keep away from the hard shit man.

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im curious by what you mean by this though. are you saying you still appreciate the really good times you had from drugs and then can accept it and put it behind you in a way?

Yea, that's it really..... I've suffered, probably as hard as I imagine it is possible to, with hppd..... but I can at least think, well I had a fucking blast for years..... and also, I knew the path I was taking. I was on self destruct, so can't really sit about crying because something went wrong. That was the whole point... I was gonna do that shit until I died or something went wrong.... So no guilt, just a tinge of "it's a shame I was born with an addictive personality"

So I have the good memories, and no major guilt or regret. I chose a path and that path led me pretty much where I expected. I could sit around and wonder about why I was so self destructive... but it's too far in the past to care now.... I was just a crazy teen who liked drugs.... no point lookin too deep, in my opinion..

I reckon when I hit about 70.... If I still have this, i'll dodge off to a jungle or something and have a trip..... just for old times sake.

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over about 2 years from ages of 15-17 probably about 10 acid trips

weed all day every day

soooo much ketamine its untrue everyone in this city has a god damn ket problem anyway

too much mdma to name

a lot of valium too

plenty of alcohol

speed afew times (and also probably in pills n such)

probably around 20 gs of mephedrone

coke afew times

and shrooms only once when i went picking ;D

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soooo much ketamine its untrue everyone in this city has a god damn ket problem anyway

UK has gone mental again.... It calmed down for a while, now it's maybe worse than even the rave heydays (when it were £15 an E!). I go back and EVERYONE is on something or other.... even the most boring people are full of coke... I have to travel about to see family and stuff and when we are down south, everyone is full of coke and up north full of ket...... madchester is back and it's spread!

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Did you have a bad trip on your shrooms experience or was it positive??

I took more than I should for a first timer (like twice as much). I was completely out of it (hearing voices and unaware of my surroundings completly because it seemed like I was only able to open my eyes for a few seconds every 10 minutes or so).

At times it was pretty terrifying but in the three weeks after the event in which i had no side-effects i looked at the experience in a positive way.

I smoked a little pot 3 nights before the symptoms hit and drank 2 nights before.

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Thanks for your perspective, Jay1. It is good to hear that you aren't suffering from a lot of guilt... I'm kinda getting that you've accepted what you have done and that you are doing well by moving forwards. I feel you on the fuck life I want to self destruct... It is good to hear that you aren't beating yourself up over it. It took me a long time to start feeling that way, and I wasn't able to do it on my own, so props to you for figuring your shit out. Haha maybe if I make it to 70 I'll do the same thing. But for now I'm just trying to put the past behind me and live for the moment... And what the moment can bring if I stay on the same path.

And to martifer, good for you that you are trying to stay clean! I love to hear that, especially on a drug driven forum. Try not to look at your little 'laps on kpin and alcohol as ruining your clean time... Try think of it as another chance to get back on the horse. I've seen to many people use maybe once or a few times after being clean, only to foster a "fuck it" mentality and go off the deep end completely. Just because you used that night doesn't mean you have to use tonight, or the next day. I know I'm lecturing a little bit, but I am writing this with good intentions. It is a struggle for sure, I struggle every day, but this too shall pass. I've never owned anything... I've only been loaned the things I have. My life, my sobriety, it is all on loan. The thing about the latter is that if I loose my clean time, I can always get it back. My life on the other hand, has no second loan. I've only got one shot and if I loose my clean time there is a good chance I could loose my life.

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    • By GammaKnife
      This might be a long one, but here goes. I've been looking at this site since the end of November, and I think I've found what's been affecting me.

      I'm 22-years old; a college student living in student accommodation away from home during term. I've occasionally experimented with drugs since I was about 15 (in social groups, never alone), but it was only in the last year or so that I ever tried ecstasy or LSD – not something I've done often but I found them quite positive experiences. Both times I took acid were quite low doses, and generally njoyable experiences. The only thing I noticed was that I often get bad anxiety from smoking weed since the first time I tripped; before acid this never happened. The experiences were so positive that I became a little bit obsessed with psychedelia; the music, the art, all the hippy stuff basically. For weeks after my trips I felt more clear-minded, focused, happy and just generally appreciative of life – even when COVID lockdowns became a part of our lives last March.

      After lockdown during the summer of last year I partied with friends for a couple of days straight; lots of alcohol, ketamine, and on the last day we all took a some of ecstasy. The afternoon of the day I came home I began experiencing what I think was serotonin syndrome; I got waves of panic, heart palpitations, agitation. It was very unpleasant, and it stuck in my mind long after I felt better.
      My current predicament was triggered by a caffeine-induced panic attack at the end of last September; I saw a flash of light in my peripheral vision after drinking black coffee, which led to continuing anxiety, visual disturbances, panic attacks, and negative thought loops – all these symptoms seem to come in waves, there's days or weeks when they're far less apparent and times when they feel overwhelmingly intense. I even got an eye test and was prescribed glasses for slight nearsightedness, but they said there was absolutely nothing wrong with my eyes from what they could tell. I had an ECG and a blood test at the doctors too, and they said there didn't seem to be any health issues that they could see – which is good news.
      Visual disturbances include visual snow (VS), prolonged after-images, floaters, blue sky ectopic phenomenon (a swirling or rapid movement effect on skies – especially on a bright blue day), as well as occasional perception of movement or lights in peripheral vision, “cracks” or vein/branch-like after-images in my field of vision just after blinking for a few minutes after I wake up, and flashes of light when the eyes are closed (when trying to sleep).
      These visual disturbances often create a sense of anxiety, and distract me from everyday tasks. The anxiety tends to get worse if I'm hungover, at night, and especially when I’m trying to fall asleep. I’ve also been experiencing occasional high-pitched ringing sound in my ears (more the right ear than the left one), heart flutters/palpitations, a slight feeling of nausea (generally worse after eating), and a sudden sense of dizziness or disconnection which may trigger mental panic or turmoil. Episodes like this don’t happen frequently, but are usually accompanied by a hot feeling in my face and an over-sensitivity to noises and sensations around me, with even a relaxed living room feeling chaotic and overwhelming.
      Unpleasant episodes like this tend to happen on days when I spend a lot of time ruminating about my condition. My mind often gravitates towards the idea that I may have a serious mental disorder – especially schizophrenia, despite not demonstrating the symptoms of this disorder (delusions, complex hallucinations, hearing voices, etc.). It’s more of a fear that I am experiencing what comes before a psychotic episode (prodromal period), and a feeling of helplessness and panic quickly grows out of this.
      I spend a lot of time Googling symptoms of various mental illnesses as way to reassure myself that I’m not psychotic, but sometimes I think I’m subconsciously trying to confirm that I am – however labored the justification may be. I think a lot of this is mainly down to the visual issues, but also the general ‘out of sorts’ feelings I’ve had. When I’m feeling particularly out of sorts or anxious, my mind tends to feel jumbled and chaotic – a fuzzy psychedelic feeling in my mind’s eye where it’s difficult to clearly visualize things properly or think clearly. This feeling can be intense and distracting, and it often makes me feel lethargic or low on energy.
      I also have trouble sleeping, or rather trouble going to sleep before 12 am. This isn’t a new thing; it has been a recurring issue for me for the last four or five years, but never as consistently problematic for my mental health (being due to anxiety or visual issues), and I was rarely ever kept awake when I wanted to sleep. These sleep problems often mean I wake up and fall asleep again multiple times every morning and struggle to fully get up before 11 am, and I think this effects my productivity for the rest of the day. I don’t feel well-rested when I wake up, so I think this messes with my mood throughout the day.
      Today I had the worst panic attack of my life; in broad daylight on a pleasant day at home surrounded by my family. I haven't taken anything (even alcohol or cigarettes) since before Christmas, so that hasn't added to my problems thankfully. I began to fixate on the sense of movement in my peripheral vision and visual snow, which set off my anxiety in an extremely intense way and it has taken all day to calm myself down.
      After talking with my parents we agreed it might be time to see a doctor; this isn't going to go away easily and I just want to rule out any other possibilities.
      Apologies for the length of this post, I just had to get it all out. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I would appreciate any advice. I will post an update if my symptoms change, and I'll try to keep up to date on any future developments.
    • By Lsd
      Hey there so I think I might have some mild hppd. I have done lsd thrice last summer and had a bad trip once. After that I would have occasional 20 sec flashbacks of color enhancement etc but nothing else. Now three weeks ago I took mdma, and everything was fine after that. I was on a weed break and smoked a few days ago. Ever since I smoke everything is very cattoony, hd colors if you know what I mean, like elongated. Not sure if it's hppd or what. I stopped weed because after that bad trip my weed was often very anxiety inducing and very intense.
      Now I am hopeful that if I'm lucky and I recover in a few months while being sober. I don't want to do lsd or MD anymore not risking it, but can i still smoke weed, like will that go back to normal. Will these hppd neural pathways be faded out? Like erased. Thanks
    • By JimmyinDetroit
      Hey how's it goin everyone?
      So I'm not much of a drug user, smoked a lot of pot as a teen quit in my 20's after it started making me paranoid used mushrooms a few times smoked opium a few times tried coke a few times never really enjoyed getting high always preferred alcohol and was freaked out by how friends acted on lsd so I never tried it.
      Flash forward to the present, I was at a Halloween party everyone was having a great time including a chick there who was tripping balls, kept telling me how I should do acid, its so great I'll love it'll change my whole outlook on life acid is soooo awesome.
      Well I told her a good 6-7 times that night I didn't use drugs. Had another drink set it down to take a photo..... Finished my last drink went home went to bed woke up a few hours later totally fucked up.
      My first time tripping experience I was not expecting it, in middle of sleeping, total darkness, no music, no tv, no people, no paintings or art.
      Just darkness and silence, it sucked really bad. 
      So ever since then I've had terrible anxiety, an unexplainable fear of leaving the house and driving, everything and everyone looking way too real. 
      Not exactly hallucinating, but everything looks weird, too real weird. Looking people in the face when I talk to them and the details in their faces become too much to handle as if they're turning into a cartoon character of themselves yet still human.
      I've also been getting vertigo and feel like I'm falling over a lot especially if I'm watching a movie with fast movement.
      There's a lot of posts from years past here to look through, so any suggestions on your experience, medications, what type of doctor, websites or news articles you'd like to share I appreciate.
      If I should repost this in a different area also let me know.
      Thanks for any help.
       
    • By terye90
      In 2011, during a month, I developed a lot of neurological symptoms (I was 20 and then only marijuana several times in my life) - visual snow, palinopsia after images, floaters and tingling of the whole body (24/7), muscle fasciculations.
      In 2011-2014 I was diagnosed comprehensively (MRI, cerebrospinal fluid, evoked visual potentials, blood etc.). It only turned out that I was infected with Bartonella. I treated myself for several weeks according to ILADS, but finally I gave up. I have learned to live with these symptoms since accepting treatment failure in 2014. Now some of the symptoms are gone, some are still present (like VS, body tingling).
      Now to the point. A week ago I had the opportunity to take half a pill of ecstasy/mdma (it was my first time in my life, I only thought that LSD can cause permanent vision problems, so under the influence of alcohol I took half a pill). That night I also drunked a loooot of vodka and beer. And I don't remeber second half of the night.
      The next day I sobered up and read that MDMA may also cause/worse with HPPD/ VS. I got stressed and think my visual symptoms have got a little worse. But I wonder if it's not that under stress and paying attention to visual snow, palinopsia - I just see them more...?
      1. Is there anyone here who caused (or worsened) visual snow, palinopsia - after images by ONLY ONE (1st) USE ecstasy / mdma ? I took a half a pill and drink a lot of alcohol (Does alcohol weaken the effect of ecstasy in the brain?)
      2. Does it pass someone or is it permanent forever?

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