It gets better - 3 years of HPPD

[bowties]

Hi guys,

3 years ago, after excessive LSD and weed usage, I developed HPPD. At the time it felt like my life was over. my anxiety spiked, and I felt like my life would never be the same. I frequented this forum looking for cures and ways to deal with it, and this website helped me immensely along the way. I thought a good way to give back to this community would be to give offer some insight and advice to people going through this scary experience.

3 years after developing hppd, I would be lying if I said it had gone away. I still suffer from my symptoms, however, after a length of time, they become much easier to deal with. much like adapting to any other changes, life goes on and you get used to it. At the beginning of my HPPD journey, it was all I could think about. I resented myself for my stupid choices and thought that HPPD would be a constant daily struggle. these days, I barely even think about it. sure I notice the distorted vision and weird effects, but they have simply become a part of life for me now.
the key things that helped me along the way:

• !Stop taking recreational drugs immediately! when I first developed HPPD, I kept looking for ways to use recreational drugs again. 'surely one-time won't hurt'. as unfair as it may seem, drugs are no longer compatible with you and you have to stop immediately.
• Accept that your HPPD may never go away. the quicker you do this, the faster you can get back to living your life and working on yourself. your symptoms may never go away, but your tolerance of those symptoms can drastically improve.
• Seek help if you need it. talk to friends, talk to a therapist. they may not understand the specifics about what you are going through, but they can help you work through the struggles.
• Most doctors will not know what HPPD is. pretty self-explanatory. you can try explaining it to them or not. I usually don't bother.
• Focus on self-improvement. This one is really important. HPPD can really fuck you up mentally. I became a nervous wreck and s still to this day suffer from anxiety. you need to figure out a personal process to work through these issues. whatever works for you.

 

I want everyone struggling with HPPD to realise that life does get better again. It takes work and commitment, but I hope you can all get the point in your life where your HPPD does not hold you back from living the life YOU want.

please do not hesitate to shoot me a message with any questions, or even if you just want to chat

 

[MadDoc]

@bowties

Very well stated.

Staying clean and acceptance are key I think.  Focus, determination  and attitude go a long way as well.  

Also, keep in mind that this disability can and often does improve.  A happy and productive life isn't necessarily out of reach.

[Guest]

As a 20 year survivor, it has its ups and downs and as you get older (if you grow older) you’ll run into other health issues that come with age that tax your coping mechanisms for HPPD...

[AlphaBeta]

Could you tell more about your drug usage before HPPD onset (frequency / doses) and your initial and current symptoms (did they got better or did just your acceptance of them increase)? Would be interesting to hear!

Also, I wonder if you did you suffer from any mental illness in your life before HPPD onset.

 

Thanks for reporting your case, especially that you got better. This always helps.

Edited January 2, 2020 by AlphaBeta