LSD used one-time triggered HPPD

[4c1d]

I have never taken illicit drugs prior, but four months ago, LSD was taken and I hallucinated for 12 hours. In short, though, what I went through appears to be abnormal and certainly is a far cry from what can be found online about LSD related experiences. About 2 hours into intoxication, I felt like fainting, my body temperature increased dramatically, I was dizzy. Then, I saw a physical shift in my hair and eye, which changed in such a way that is in line with phenotypes expressed in my family - e.g. for my left eye, I developed a squint about 2 hours into the trip, which my sister and dad have. I was predisposed to adhd, and I firmly believe that I have virtually all of the characteristics. These changes are still with me to this day. I'm left not knowing if the LSD made this permanent mark on my state and it depresses me more than anything you can imagine. Doctors said it's down to stress and not the acid itself. Some of them also said a proportion of brains take longer to settle to normal. Of course, I've also got the HPPD which doesn't help matters. Regarding the HPPD, I have brain fog, severe/crippling depression, moderate anxiety, dp/dr, terrible headaches, halos around objects, positive after-images, spotters, floaters and vibrant spontaneous colours which blast when my eyes are shut or if there is a dark space. In addition, if I look enough at faces, they tend to morph as if I were tripping. It has left me in a terrible way.

By joining and being active on this platform, I am hoping to gain support, relatability potential and advice.

[Jay1]

Hi, welcome to the forum. That's a very scary thing to happen while tripping. Let's hope the doctors are right in that it will settle. Try not to blame yourself, you did a drug, like millions of other people do, you just got unlucky. Regret is a wasted emotion.  Focus on getting better.

I'm sure you have delved into the forum enough now to know what to do in these early months... No drugs, minimise/no alcohol, no caffeine, avoid stress, try not to over think, eat healthy, exercise. Are you on any medication/supplements?

 

[MadDoc]

We all experience psychedelics a little differently, but you might not have taken LSD.  There are so many tweaked molecules available out there, it's hard to know.  If you don't know the chemist, "street" drugs can be a crap shoot.  Long, long ago I took a dose of "acid" and ended up tripping for over two days.  I think it was DOM (aka STP).  

No matter, you've had an experience and you're dealing with the aftermath.  You didn't mention how long ago you dosed.   Lingering effects can hang around for a while.  Dosing can be a huge shock to the system to say the least!

The good news is you've dosed once.  I'm no expert on hppd, but I suspect the fewer times you've dosed the better your chances that hppd symptoms won't be perminent .  As Jay mentioned, stay clean!  I can't stress that enough.  Do the best you can to keep your life moving and don't ever give up on yourself.

Hang in there and take care.

[4c1d]

On 10/25/2019 at 10:14 AM, Jay1 said:

Hi, welcome to the forum. That's a very scary thing to happen while tripping. Let's hope the doctors are right in that it will settle. Try not to blame yourself, you did a drug, like millions of other people do, you just got unlucky. Regret is a wasted emotion.  Focus on getting better.

I'm sure you have delved into the forum enough now to know what to do in these early months... No drugs, minimise/no alcohol, no caffeine, avoid stress, try not to over think, eat healthy, exercise. Are you on any medication/supplements?

 

Hi Jay. Thanks for taking the time to respond and welcome me. Yes it is a scary thing and those effects are still lingering - and we're about 5 months post-incident.

I know it's no use blaming myself but it's inevitable; it's hard not to especially with the amount I'm suffering at the moment.

I tried taking lions mane and 5-HTP, as well as other supplements such as marine collagen, vitamin C, vitamin B complex, etc. None of those are really helping at all.

After a recent visit to the psychiatrist, I was suggested to take Lexopro, mirtazapine, and diazepam but not taking them. As you can imagine I'm put off from adding an external chemical to modify my brain state albeit the purpose is for it to be helpful. 

Any thoughts?

Thanks once again for your insights and concern.

[4c1d]

1 hour ago, MadDoc said:

We all experience psychedelics a little differently, but you might not have taken LSD.  There are so many tweaked molecules available out there, it's hard to know.  If you don't know the chemist, "street" drugs can be a crap shoot.  Long, long ago I took a dose of "acid" and ended up tripping for over two days.  I think it was DOM (aka STP).  

No matter, you've had an experience and you're dealing with the aftermath.  You didn't mention how long ago you dosed.   Lingering effects can hang around for a while.  Dosing can be a huge shock to the system to say the least!

The good news is you've dosed once.  I'm no expert on hppd, but I suspect the fewer times you've dosed the better your chances that hppd symptoms won't be perminent .  As Jay mentioned, stay clean!  I can't stress that enough.  Do the best you can to keep your life moving and don't ever give up on yourself.

Hang in there and take care.

Thank you "MadDoc" for your reply and concern also. 

After doing a drug test it was found that it is in fact LSD but thanks for the warning. You would've thought it was a research chemical after all that trouble the acid has caused. However, sorry to know about your bad experience - sounds rough.

To clarify, LSD ingestion was in mid-June this year so it's approximately 4.5 months post-incident. 

Trust me I will remain clean even from pharmaceutical drugs like anti-depressants. Thanks for the encouragement, I too think it would be more likely however other users of this forum suggested otherwise (in fact the counter saying that those who abuse drugs then get HPPD are more likely to recover because somehow they're not predisposed to it in the same way as first-timers). 

Other than sobriety, do you have any other tips? Any thoughts or practices you adopt to get you through? 

 

[Jay1]

at this point, I would just focus on reducing any stress and anxiety. It doesn't matter how you do this, watching tv, listening to music, going out in nature... whatever works, just do it as much as you can. I think stay away from meds is not the worst idea, right now. Finding and understanding your baseline is a good thing, then you are better equipped to know what meds, vitamins etc are doing to you, if you ever do go down that route (I personally take clonazepam 2-3 times a week to keep my anxiety down)

[MadDoc]

@4c1d Thank you for your concern regarding the 48 plus hour experience I went through.  It happened over 40 years ago.  My mind set at the time was that I had hit the jackpot.  I suspect such a dose would kill me at my current age.

My advice, get moving on with your life.  If you're in school, focus on your studies.  If you're working, focus on that.  I've found that staying focused has served me well.  While I don't take medications to deal with hppd, others have had success with them.  Finding a way to help with anxiety is important.  I've found meditation and long walks away from the noise of civilization helps.  Exercise is general is helpful.