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What do you guys look forward to?


billy
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Before I had HPPD I used to have a ton of things I looked forward to. Vacations, hanging out with friends, going out on the weekends, hiking, seeing my family. Now I am to worried to look forward to anything. I have a hard enough time getting through the day. If I do things out of my normal routine it often results in my symptoms getting worse, and having a panic attack. It feels like there's nothing left to look forward to, except a lifetime of trying to alleviate my symptoms. 

What do you guys look forward to? Were you guys eventually able to do the things you used to love?

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Anyone who has read my post realize that I basically repeat the same message.  I'm going to do it again.

I've had this disorder for a long time, over 40 years.  Fortunately, over time, most of my symptoms have gone away or are greatly reduced.  I still live with visuals and weird thought patterns.

I'm nobody special.  Just another Bozo stumbling through life but it's been a good life and I'm hopeful that I still have decades to go before the lights go out.

We have a disability, and like anybody with a disability we have to fight harder to reach for the things in life that make us happy and fulfilled.  All anyone can do is get up each day and do the best they can.  Some days it's not much, other days we can accomplish a lot.

For me, taking on life was what helped me learn to live with hppd.  I understand that at first it can be really difficult but in the long haul I didn't let it define me.  That's what got me fighting back, refusing to let this win.

Hiking and walking are some of my favorite activities, as are reading, museums, music festivals, people, etc..  Finding a career that was interesting and challenging didn't give me time to implode as did raising a family.  Start simple and build on what you have accomplished.

Life is so very strange.  Suddenly we're here out of nothing, and as I get older I realize our time here is brief.  Take it in while you can.  As Richie Havens used to say at his shows, "I'm happy to be here, I'm happy to be anywhere!".

I hope that made some sort of sense and I hope I didn't sound like I was giving a lecture.   

Edited by MadDoc
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For me, my HPPD 3 years ago was crippling to the point I had to leave my job, and make allot of sacrifices just to live.

Im so very thankful that 3 years later, I can say that I've pretty much completely adapted to living life with this disorder, and that my symptoms aren't half of what they were when I first got HPPD.

It cost me some time, but at 23 years old now I look forward to potentially going back to school, and generally continuing to live a life that I once had, that at the time was a life that I thought I had lost.

The plus side being im successfully on 3 different medications, two of which have cured hppd on many occasions. Despite that I am already adapted and living a happy life again, I might (*might*) also come home to a surprise one day and find out that my hppd is gone. 

Either way, you learn to make the most of it ?

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I'm currently looking forward to a few things... Snowboard trip to Finland in early January... Having some amazing friends from Portugal/Canada visit in late January... Snowboard trip to Tignes in March. Me and my dad also have a trip planned to go and watch the huge waves that hit Nazare in Portugal (100ft+ waves)... That could be any time over the next few months. 

You have to put yourself out there and carry on living. Anxiety is usually at it's worst before an event... once you are there, the anxiety is usually lessened... Once you know this and can control your mindset, things get easier. Just say yes to anything you would have enjoyed before hppd and deal with the situation as and when... If you are having a bad day when the event arrives, just bow out (or blast a benzo down!)

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