Dp

[justhere]

Hi,

I would just like to list my symptoms of what I think is dp and some others 

No sense of self-no spontaneous sense of “me-ness”

No internal monologue-blank mind

No feeling of time passing or at the very least diminished

Random memories dreams and childhood memories come unbidden-I can also just “think them”

I can talk about my life but it feels like I am just reading. No felt sense of chronology.

Interests and opinions similar to above

Sometimes new places, people will spontaneously conjure memories of similar areas/people. I’ve been walking and see a stranger and will mistake them for a second with someone I met-sometimes an aquaintance from way in the past

Can make eyes wider. Top lids go higher than normal.

Increased pareidolia 

High def colors-especially outdoors

Certain objects seem to have a kind of surreal presence. Maybe related to pareidolia 

I used to get the heightened pareidolia upon waking sometimes. Like if I awake to a pile of clothes etc. 

I’ve also woken up to that blankness. I panic and the unreality feeling starts. My whole life feels fake. It usually goes away in minutes.

yet this where I am now. I woke to it and it’s like I’m stuck there.

Upon drifting my inner voice would sometimes splinter into nonsense chattering. Sometimes I’d come to with a feeling of where was I? This was always benign.

Honestly I am not sure if I can live like this indefinitely. I am afraid I’ve accidentally ruined my mind for good.

on that happy note

thanks for reading