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Hello HPPD onilne !


CharlesW
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Hi forum community, 

My name is Charles, I'm a 20 year old university student studying geology and have had what I believe to be HPPD for approximately a 5 months now. 

My drug use through my life has been pretty similar to the vast majority of people, I began smoking cannabis around the age of 17 until late 2016 when I had to stop due to anxiety and panic attacks occurring from it. I infrequently drink alcohol and never smoke tobacco. I have a prescription for Co-codamol for back pain which I infrequently take as i'm wary of opiates. 

My first experience of psychedelics was in October 2016 where picked and took Psilocybe semilanceata or Liberty Cap mushrooms that grow across in the UK. Since my first trip I have taken mushrooms a further 4 times, at low to moderate dosages. 

The 3rd trip in this sequence was my only bad trip but it was a experience that will stick with me for the remainder of my life. I took 2.5grams by steeping in tea along with 2 friends, my trip went downhill fast. I may elaborate on that experience in the future but it is a long story. Im unsure if this was when the HPPD began but It was a period where I looked at the effects of the drug on my mental health. 

My symptoms are as follows:

  1. Static or visual snow, visible during the day on plain surfaces, especially noticeable at night. 
    • The static has had a detrimental impact on my sleep. I struggle to sleep anyway but the bright colours and 'visuals' when I close my eyes make it harder to sleep. If anyone else has experienced this I would like to know. 
  2. Difficulty reading, high contrast text or computer screens seem to meld and blur. Low quality pixelated screens tend to emphasise the static also. 
  3. Motion Blur (least noticeable)

I was very pleased to stumble upon this forum and the term HPPD which encompasses all of the things I've been questioning. I didn't know if it was normal and I just forgot what it was like when I closed my eyes or was in a dark room. 

I have read many go cold turkey on all drugs after their prognosis, however I would still like to experiment with psychedelics. If this will have a significant effect on the severity of the symptoms I obviously won't but I would like to hear from other who may still take psychedelics and what their experiences are like. 

 

Thanks for reading, feel free to ask any questions.

 

Charles :)

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If you are in a place where you are even thinking about smoking weed, let alone taking more trips... You are very low on the ladder. You are literally risking your sanity for the rest of your life. I've had this shit for 21 years now because I didn't take it seriously when I reached your stage and carried on taking drugs (mainly lsd and mdma). My life became immeasurably worse and not a day has gone by that I haven't been in serious mental and physical pain.

I had to take 3mg of Klonopin to get through my wedding day.. Is another trip worth that sort of life?

Drugs are clearly not for you... Enjoy that you learnt the lessons of mushrooms and came out relatively unscathed.

 

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Don't do it man.

This morning I was in the planning stages of ending my life. You don't want to go down the road of what this could do to you. 

It's just not worth it.

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I'm in the same boat as you with the visual snow. I would not risk it and get the full hppd because what I've read on this forum it doesn't seem pleasant. I wouldnt even smoke the dope anymore either. I'm so paranoid I might get it bad that I had to stop with everything like caffeine and coffee. 

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I've mentioned this before and here I go again.  I had symptoms of hppd after the first time I used psychedelics.  Granted, it was a big dose.  I kept using psychedelics  for six years.  I ended up with visuals I see nearly all the time and I doubt they'll ever go away. Psychedelics have a lot to teach.  However, powerful psychotropic drugs can cause unwanted effects in some.  Myself included.  Trust me, you don't want to be permanently altered by psychedelics.  At least take some time away from tripping to see how you fare.  A couple of years.  I'm no anti-drug zealot but I've lived with hppd for a long time.  While I've gotten used to it, I often wish I could see the world as "it is" instead of seeing the patterns my mind makes me see.

My two cents, or pence if you prefer.

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Your story follows a very common theme here, as has been pointed out by above members of this site. I too had symptoms of HPPD from the time I was about 15 until 20. I did a lot of drugs in high school and at some point ended up with visual snow, depersonalization and slight afterimages, all of which are standard HPPD symptoms. After I graduated high school I actually took it easy on drugs my freshman year of college and within a few years I was symptom free. I took a few hallucinogens here and there but was always careful in never taking too much. Well, six years later all it took was a single tab of acid and I was thrown into a world and experience I wouldn't wish on anybody ever in the history of man. It's really clear that you're in a position we all were at one time and ignored. Don't be like us and ignore what your brain is telling you. Drugs don't work for you and your body type. If you keep doing them you'll regret it -- guaranteed. And not only that, you'll regret ever being born. Life on this planet is the greatest gift imaginable. Don't take it for granted. Doing drugs isn't worth it.  

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