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Hi, my name is Sander, I'm 16, from Amsterdam and I hope you can help me.

 

I have derealisation, HPPD, slight psychosis, and slight depersonalisation. 

There once was a time I had ADD, PDD/NOS, psychosis, derealisation, depersonalisation, seratonin syndrome, Alice in Wonderland syndrome, and HPPD at the same time.

My HPPD and derealisation were caused by weed but are still pretty heavy. My psychosis and depersonalisation were caused by by weed too but worsened by an overdose XTC.

 

After that I got Alice in Wonderland syndrome and Seratonin syndrome which went away after about two months. Now I'm currently only bothered by slight depersonalisation and slight psychosis and severe HPPD.

 

I am very sensitive to drugs. I overdosed at 300mg of XTC (Dutch XTC but the worst clean XTC you could get here). I can have a great trip on 75 miligrams (that's back when I only had PDD/NOS and ADD).

 

I am going to a festival this summer and booze is very expensive there so the cheapest solution would be XTC. Now I have a source of very clean blue Tesla's with a high dosage of MDMA. Or I can get pure MDMA. My question is not if it's a smart idea to do this, (because it's really dumb) but how high the odds are that I can fall back into the mental diseases I had and how big the influences are on my current mental disorders.

 

Thanks for reading

 

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Stay the fuck away from MDMA if you have HPPD; personally I've never indulged in the alkaloid, albeit from anecdotal testimony from others who have it exacerbated their HPPD to demonic proportions. MDMA induced HPPD is the most debilitating variant of this disorder.

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Stay the fuck away from MDMA if you have HPPD; personally I've never indulged in the alkaloid, albeit from anecdotal testimony from others who have it exacerbated their HPPD to demonic proportions. MDMA induced HPPD is the most debilitating variant of this disorder.

True, but brain damage mostly occurs when 3mg of XTC per kilo is consumed. I'm 203cm (6'7") tall and weigh 92kg, so I should be safe to around 276mg of XTC. I however plan to do 50mg-70mg. So I was wondering what effect it has on my disorders scientifically speaking, and with that I mean what hormones and other body-native chemicals are influenced to what extent. I don't think that a 75mg dose has much influence on my condition.

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True, but brain damage mostly occurs when 3mg of XTC per kilo is consumed. I'm 203cm (6'7") tall and weigh 92kg, so I should be safe to around 276mg of XTC. I however plan to do 50mg-70mg. So I was wondering what effect it has on my disorders scientifically speaking, and with that I mean what hormones and other body-native chemicals are influenced to what extent. I don't think that a 75mg dose has much influence on my condition.

At this juncture, dose is irrelevant, dude. You're irreversibly fucking with your neurochemistry, and HPPD is an indication to slow down. MDMA releases vast amounts of serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine and inhibits their reuptake in the synaptic cleft of the neuron....any further experimentation will more than likely exacerbate your psychological issues.

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At this juncture, dose is irrelevant, dude. You're irreversibly fucking with your neurochemistry, and HPPD is an indication to slow down. MDMA releases vast amounts of serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine and inhibits their reuptake in the synaptic cleft of the neuron....any further experimentation will more than likely exacerbate your psychological issues.

I see what you mean, especially with your scientific explanaition, but I can also speak from experience. I once did 300mg of XTC when most of my mental disorders were already developed back then. So far it did not do any irreversable damage. So now that we had the scientific part, let's talk about the actual odds of something happening. I can't find any papers on this though.

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I don't know the probability of deleterious effects on your mental health if you roll again, haha. Personally, I started smoking weed again a year after I developed HPPD, and it helped for a short duration, then psychologically I became more impulsive and unstable than I was before.

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I don't know the probability of deleterious effects on your mental health if you roll again, haha. Personally, I started smoking weed again a year after I developed HPPD, and it helped for a short duration, then psychologically I became more impulsive and unstable than I was before.

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I don't know the probability of deleterious effects on your mental health if you roll again, haha. Personally, I started smoking weed again a year after I developed HPPD, and it helped for a short duration, then psychologically I became more impulsive and unstable than I was before.

Well thanks for the information anyways :P

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Why take the risk make it worser,like everybody know taking drugs while in a depression takes extra riskes

Like every body have deprresif episodes have to learn to cope with and if you are in take a huge effort to geth out

So first the step is geth out and drugs noth gonna help you

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Why take the risk make it worser,like everybody know taking drugs while in a depression takes extra riskes

Like every body have deprresif episodes have to learn to cope with and if you are in take a huge effort to geth out

So first the step is geth out and drugs noth gonna help you

I've been off drugs for a year and a month now, does nothing good for me. I want to enjoy life just a little extra even if I might risk anything. But as I stated earlier, brain damage from XTC occurs when you take more than 3mg per kilo of body weight, I'm 203cm tall and weigh 92kg, so I'm safe up to 276mg. I however plan on taking 75mg.

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Niet doen je bent pas 16 man. Je hebt nog een heel leven voor je gek. Wees zuinig op je hoofd je bent nog jong en het zal beter worden met de tijd. Als je 30 bent moet je maar weer is overwegen om eens te feesten.

Ja dat is waar, maar als je jong bent moet je ook kunnen genieten van het leven. Dit is ook voor mij een hele grote uitzondering

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no idea, that was 1993 - 1994 when mdma came in pills (very strong).

 

you seem to be missing the point though... There is no safe mg dosage. Anything that will get you even the slightest high could potentially give you serious mental problems.

 

you are susceptible to mental illness through drug use... You can quit now and hope for a happy life, or play russian roulette and end up wishing you were dead. Seems a pretty easy choice.

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no idea, that was 1993 - 1994 when mdma came in pills (very strong).

 

you seem to be missing the point though... There is no safe mg dosage. Anything that will get you even the slightest high could potentially give you serious mental problems.

 

you are susceptible to mental illness through drug use... You can quit now and hope for a happy life, or play russian roulette and end up wishing you were dead. Seems a pretty easy choice.

Been there, done that. I've been clean for a year and a month now. I've been in positions that I'd rather be dead, and now I'm climbing out. I guess that

what I'm looking for is a risk in an estimated percentage that I will fuck up my HPPD worse, because that shit's permanent.

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If you are thinking about doing MDMA, you have not even touched the surface of what you think drug induced mental illness is.

When you hit that level of hell, you never touch shit like MDMA again.

You want someone here to give you permission, basically... Well, no one can give you an accurate %

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If you are thinking about doing MDMA, you have not even touched the surface of what you think drug induced mental illness is.

When you hit that level of hell, you never touch shit like MDMA again.

You want someone here to give you permission, basically... Well, no one can give you an accurate %

You are right, I'll be a bigot when people tell me I shouldn't do it. I just want to hear that it's not too unsafe and that worsening my condition is just as big as the odds of getting them.

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