iHaveSeenEvil Posted May 10, 2014 Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 So about five months ago I developed HPPD from a dosage of shrooms. You can all look at all the gory details of my symptons from something I had posted here if you're curious. Yes, it was fucking hell. http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/3629-too-many-symptoms-to-keep-track-of/ So it's been about a week now, and I've been feeling normal, like entirely back to reality. I can't say I'm absolutely 100% cured, but I feel pretty fucking good. And yes, I had legit HPPD issues, not just me psyching myself out. I go almost all day and night without noticing any sort of weird HPPD thing, whereas before it was a constant 24/7 continuous awareness of my altered perception and visual problems. This includes socializing, work related stuff, cognitive processing, ect. I do have some issues with PTSD from it, so I think about it a lot, but even when I start thinking about it, it isn't triggering any anxiety or HPPD symptoms. I don't feel confused, anxious, no weird visual distortions, I don't feel like life is "fake" or "surreal" or a "dream", none of that fucked up DPDR shit either. I had mind blowing DPDR issues, like I thought I was done for. Not anymore, I'm feeling normal. I even did a bunch of coke and have gotten drunk a handful of times in the past week, and my brain remained normal. Not recommending either of those to anyone, by the way. I can now smoke cigarettes without it causing my visuals to get worse. I also have stayed away from weed and any other psychedelics or dissociatives, and caffeine. I've been taking seroquel to help me sleep, but I'm fairly certain that has nothing to do with my symptoms going away. I've taken it when I was having bad HPPD and it didn't do shit to help me. Either way, if I'm not 100% recovered yet, I am definitely on my way. It's slightly hard for me to tell what's "enitrely normal", BUT I am soooooooooo SOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than I was during my original onset. I was unbelievably fucked in the head, and now I feel so calm and collected. And no, this isn't a story about how I'm coping with it, it's seriously entirely going away. I'm confident that by the end of the year I will be able to forget I even had this issue. Even writing all this out, I still feel normal, even after dwelling and recollecting about it. Stay sober, fuck the drugs, stay active, stay social, exercise, try to live life as though there is nothing wrong. That's what worked for me, and what I will continue to do. Sorry this was a little long, but I really wanted to share this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted May 10, 2014 Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 FUCK YES to this^ I'm really glad for you it's really inspirational to see someone come out on the other side! I'm at 4 months, and I'm really hoping I can be where you're at in 5. Fingers crossed lol >.< Does this mean you no longer see floaters, tracers, etc? I'm seriously really really happy for you dude cheers to being 100% hppd free in a month! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd33 Posted May 10, 2014 Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Way are u so stupid to do coke again? I would be so fucking happy i never would touch anything drug related. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iHaveSeenEvil Posted May 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 @China, Thanks for the kind words! =) If your HPPD has gotten better in the least I feel as though it will eventually all go away. Is very slow and gradual, but it does fade. I've always had floaters, which remained untouched by my HPPD. I've always known they were there, and I only really see them when I'm looking at a bright sky And my tracers/trails are pretty much gone. I'm assuming what I have left now is just what a normal blur is. My tracers used to be very bothersome, when people would talk with their hands or use a lot of hand motion to describe stuff it would really fuck with me. I don't have tracers that do that anymore. When people talk with their hands now I don't have that happen anymore. @hppd33 Coke is irrelevant to my HPPD, I've been okay with stimulants recently. Weed, Molly, ketamine, or ANY psychedelic I am done with forever. Anything that causes hallucinations or dissociation is 100% out of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd24years Posted May 10, 2014 Report Share Posted May 10, 2014 Way are u so stupid to do coke again? I would be so fucking happy i never would touch anything drug related.I really don't think calling some buddy stupid is called for.. Maybe he shouldn't do coke but there is a better way by expressing ur emotion towards someone else 's success story. Congrats on ur highly progressive journey towards the freedom of being hppd free. I could only imagine what it would feel like for my brain just can't shake this thing yet.. I have to say I do get inspired by successful stories with great admirations. I would like to pre-warn u about the coke, I know u categorize it as a stimulus but it might not be just coke ur getting you know people cut coke with virtually anything and everything.. Just keep that in mind.. The last thing u want is any regurgitation of hppd again.. I've had this for years and if I had the hand u got dealt for almost being completely cured I would never ever even contemplate doing nothing remotely that could jeopardize the release or escape from hppd.. Don't underestimate this phenomenon.. Trust.. hppd24longfuckingyears.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd33 Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 Im sorry. But when i read when someone is cured and the next question is if hè can intoxicate himself with a hppd trigger i call that stupid. Thats still a mild word Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd24years Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 You know, when a man has struggles in life with himself in regards to belief and understanding for change the last thing he needs to hear is the word stupid>>(whether your interpretation is defined as mild or moderate it's totally demeaning and disrespectful to that specific individual) Self conflictions are horrible enough dealing with Hppd as is, people don't need strong negative adjectives to put them down even lower.. hpps33 we are all in the same book here and on different chapters through out.. No one is better than the next one and surely no one should call anyone names either. Maybe try to add some advice in a more positive constructive manner that would encounter better feed back and ultimately better results. Asshole!! <<<< Completely kidding but I think you can feel the drift.. Hppd24longyearsandstilltalkingtomyself.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syntheso Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 @China, Thanks for the kind words! =) If your HPPD has gotten better in the least I feel as though it will eventually all go away. Is very slow and gradual, but it does fade. I've always had floaters, which remained untouched by my HPPD. I've always known they were there, and I only really see them when I'm looking at a bright sky And my tracers/trails are pretty much gone. I'm assuming what I have left now is just what a normal blur is. My tracers used to be very bothersome, when people would talk with their hands or use a lot of hand motion to describe stuff it would really fuck with me. I don't have tracers that do that anymore. When people talk with their hands now I don't have that happen anymore. @hppd33 Coke is irrelevant to my HPPD, I've been okay with stimulants recently. Weed, Molly, ketamine, or ANY psychedelic I am done with forever. Anything that causes hallucinations or dissociation is 100% out of my life. If you are nearly fully recovered, take that as your final warning: you are incredibly lucky. Honestly man, don't touch coke. There are so many of us who have had huge relapses due to coke/other stimulants. Perhaps those choices have caused lifelong illness when it could have been temporary. Since things seem to currently have been temporary for you, why risk permanency? So many people would wish to be in your position and give things a second shot. You are incredibly naive if you think, "Coke is irrelevant to my HPPD, I've been okay with stimulants recently". You sound like the kid that thinks they are invincible. You might subjectively feel that certain stimulants are not harming you, but you cannot be sure that they are not. For some people HPPD symptoms take a while to become apparent after ingesting a substance. We can actually be objective about this; look at the pharmacology of cocaine. Albeit, quite different, it works on the same systems as LSD, MDMA. Seems quite relevant to me. If you are predisposed to HPPD (which you know you are), it will worsen it. That gate to your visual cortex has been opened. Serotonin (and a whole host of other things) will affect your HPPD. Not just affect it, we know that serotonin worsens/induces HPPD. You have the facts, now, what are you going to do with them? You feeling that it is okay to take certain stimulants has not objective basis. It actually suggests to me that you have an addictive personality (which I can relate to - so not trying to shame you). I made the mistake you seem to be willing to make. I considered MDMA and other stimulants fine to use because they aren't 'hallucinogens' (though they can produce hallucinations) and I didn't notice any obvious worsening from their use. I carried on taking them after my HPPD set in; before it got really bad. It was this that made things permanent for me. Have a serious think before you throw your fortune away.. you are making a life decision. (sorry to be harsh, but this is why we are here on this forum... everything is said with love and your best intentions considered. I wouldn't want anyone to live with this permanently if it can be stopped) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd24years Posted May 23, 2014 Report Share Posted May 23, 2014 If you are nearly fully recovered, take that as your final warning: you are incredibly lucky. Honestly man, don't touch coke. There are so many of us who have had huge relapses due to coke/other stimulants. Perhaps those choices have caused lifelong illness when it could have been temporary. Since things seem to currently have been temporary for you, why risk permanency? So many people would wish to be in your position and give things a second shot. You are incredibly naive if you think, "Coke is irrelevant to my HPPD, I've been okay with stimulants recently". You sound like the kid that thinks they are invincible. You might subjectively feel that certain stimulants are not harming you, but you cannot be sure that they are not. For some people HPPD symptoms take a while to become apparent after ingesting a substance. We can actually be objective about this; look at the pharmacology of cocaine. Albeit, quite different, it works on the same systems as LSD, MDMA. Seems quite relevant to me. If you are predisposed to HPPD (which you know you are), it will worsen it. That gate to your visual cortex has been opened. Serotonin (and a whole host of other things) will affect it. Not just affect it, we know that serotonin worsens it. You have the facts, now, what are you going to do with them? You feeling that it is okay to take certain stimulants has not objective basis. It actually suggests to me that you have an addictive personality (which I can relate to - so not trying to shame you). I made the mistake you seem to be willing to make. I considered MDMA and other stimulants fine to use because they aren't 'hallucinogens' (though they can produce hallucinations) and I didn't notice any obvious worsening from their use. I carried on taking them after my HPPD set in; before it got really bad. It was this that made things permanent for me. Have a serious think before you throw your fortune away.. you are making a life decision. (sorry to be harsh, but this is why we are here on this forum... everything is said with love and your best intentions considered. I wouldn't want anyone to live with this permanently if it can be stopped) Hey Syntheso, I have seen u on here a few times I was a little inquisitive in regards to how long u have had this disorder for?? And what are ur symptoms?? If u don't mind me asking?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iHaveSeenEvil Posted May 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 If me doing coke is really what everyone wants to take away from my success post then fine. Oh, trust me, I know it isn't wise. But I feel like there is more to focus on than just that... Thanks hppd24years for being constructive. I'm still feeling pretty damn good, btw. ^.^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syntheso Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 Hey Syntheso, I have seen u on here a few times I was a little inquisitive in regards to how long u have had this disorder for?? And what are ur symptoms?? If u don't mind me asking?? My experience with HPPD; around the age of 17, four years ago, I began experimenting with various drugs: LSD, mushrooms, MDMA, mephedrone, ketamine, methoxetamine, the 2c's, amphetamines.. more. I was particularly interested in the psychedelics. I only smoked weed a bit when I was younger and it didn't agree with me so was never really part of my life. I did have a few terrifying experiences on it though during this 'phase'. I probably had around 20-30 big acid trips, 10-20 shrooms and a good few of the rest. I did a hell of a lot, basically. I don't remember having one bad trip (except for a couple on weed, which was rare). At this time of my life I also was deeply depressed due to breaking up with my first love. It took me around 1-2 years to get over fully. One day - I noticed things were still moving. My friend told me about HPPD. It went around three weeks later. Did some more stuff. It came back. At the time I wasn't making good decisions.. anyway, one day, it stuck permanently. Came and went a bit. But then it became really bad and more permanent, more towards the age of 18 (three years ago), and I realised how much it was affecting my life. The last two years up until the last few months were horrible. I hardly went into uni, spent days sleeping; painful to be awake.. you know the story. Visually, I have visual snow, pulsing in the dark, floaters, CEV's (sometimes), I have experienced things pulse in size dramatically back at the worse times, also seen things turn into things like a school of fish swimming towards my face (after relapsing due to taking some mephederone). Used to have trails. I am not sure what else might be relevant.. if you have any questions, let me know Now I am almost symptom free, and that is how it stays except for after a night drinking. Visuals still there but getting good at not letting them affect my life. Worst symptoms were chronic lethargy, brain fog, cognitive dysfunction. You? If me doing coke is really what everyone wants to take away from my success post then fine. Oh, trust me, I know it isn't wise. But I feel like there is more to focus on than just that... Thanks hppd24years for being constructive. I'm still feeling pretty damn good, btw. ^.^ What do you expect? I think there is more for you to focus on than doing cocaine. This is a recovery forum for people who have lasting issues from substance use/abuse. You flippantly talk about taking more hard drugs juxtaposed by a 'success story'. The point being, if you continue hard drug use you will most probably no longer be a success story. It is really positive that you are feeling better, congratulations, but it is completely tainted when you say you are willing to throw it all away. What are your priorities? Is it to get high or to get well? You choose. Part of resolving issues with drugs is also having a healthy relationship with them (if you are going to have one). Drug seeking behaviour is not desirable. If you are willing to dice with permanent 'fucking hell', as you call it, to get high; if you are compelled enough to chase a very temporary fix for chronic pain, suffering; do you really think you have a healthy relationship with drugs? I actually find it very contemptible that you suggest I was being non-constructive. Perhaps you do not want to hear someone tell you that you should not take cocaine. But maybe you need to hear it... I'm not trying to take your fun away. I still go out and party, drink heavily sometimes (which I do regret). It does negatively affect my recovery, but cocaine... particularly not a good move as it has a similar action to the responsible inducing drugs. If you don't learn from your mistakes and other people's, what's the point, really? You obviously want to learn the hard way.. Will you at least respond properly? I feel that you didn't address the points made suggest escapism. I will do everything I can to get through to you. I wish I had been wise. Do you want to risk reviewing this post later on in life, in pain, wishing you had followed the words someone tried to get through to you? Being wise sounds better to me.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd33 Posted May 26, 2014 Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 Are you medicine free syntheso? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syntheso Posted May 26, 2014 Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 Are you medicine free syntheso? At this moment, yeah. Although I do have a supplemental regime. I am not too sure how much this helps, but in theory it should. Practicing cognitive techniques daily helps/is essential for me. Mindfulness/meditation. Stuff designed for chronic pain relief is useful. CBT for chronic pain, hypnosis for chronic pain etc. It is important not to let the visuals themselves cause psychological distress, which in turn can cause depression, anxiety, lethargy, feelings that you can't do it (when you might be able to if you have the psychological facility) etc. Exercise everyday is also essential. I lack motivation if I do not keep it up. How are you guys doing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd33 Posted May 26, 2014 Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 Hi I am still figuring out how to meditate, do you have some examples on youtube which i can look? I am still having all of my symptoms from start, its exhausting me. I want to lay in my bed, but i know if i do that i would get crazy from all thoughts. Also have problems with cognitive part of hppd, my whole day is about hppd and how o resolve it. Thinking about pills i want to test, wheter i should take another docter. I have no second rest in my body and mind, unless im asleep. Which i do alot. My hope is what they say "Time is a healer" I eat good enough i think, lots of fruit and veggies, though my hunger feeling is gone.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syntheso Posted May 26, 2014 Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 Hi I am still figuring out how to meditate, do you have some examples on youtube which i can look? I am still having all of my symptoms from start, its exhausting me. I want to lay in my bed, but i know if i do that i would get crazy from all thoughts. Also have problems with cognitive part of hppd, my whole day is about hppd and how o resolve it. Thinking about pills i want to test, wheter i should take another docter. I have no second rest in my body and mind, unless im asleep. Which i do alot. My hope is what they say "Time is a healer" I eat good enough i think, lots of fruit and veggies, though my hunger feeling is gone.. I haven't had a look on youtube. I was lucky enough to have a holistic careworker who did mindfulness meditation with me whilst I was receiving psychiatric treatment (on the NHS!). Also I am lucky because my mum's partner is a fantastic psychologist, so we have been doing some sessions tailored for HPPD. They use mindfulness meditation in CBT. If it is available to you, I would recommend practicing mindfulness meditation with a cognitive behavioral therapist who is interested in your case. If not, there are lots of meditation classes around the Western world (presuming you live in the Western world) nowadays. Just google it and see what's around you. You might even be able to find some free classes (often the proper Buddhist ones are free). If not, I am sure you can find stuff online.. just rummage through youtube and see what works for you. Mindfulness meditation is a good start. Stuff for pain relief would also be useful. Most people with HPPD find meditation difficult due to CEV's. You are not trying to get rid of them.. not even necessarily make them calm down. You cannot get rid of them because there is an underlying neurological dysfunction. What you can do is change the way you respond to them. The idea is to just 'perceive' them, and not judge them. You are just witnessing them. This is difficult because if you tell someone not to think about elephants... you're thinking about them, aren't you? So there are techniques to help you achieve this. One is thought labeling. When a thought pops into your head label is, past, present or future. Past: 'that dinner was good' or 'I think I upset Anna last night'. Future: 'I have my English exam next week, yikes'. Judgement: 'my visuals are really intense'. When you respond like this, the thoughts seem to just evaporate. After a while it helps them to stop coming in entirely. Although the full induction is really helpful and part of it as well, focus on breathing and relaxation techniques. The idea is to be fully involved in the present, but not making any judgements. Someone asked the Dalai Lama whether he preferred one or another dish at a restaurant. He responded 'I am Buddhist. It is not in my interest to form a judgement. Each has its own merits' (paraphrase). This is what we need to aim for with the visuals. They are part of our life. The idea is to be at peace with them. In doing so, they will become less noticeable and present. I actually find that the deeper I fall into meditative trance, the more and more intense my visuals get. They get really intense actually. But they become less problematic the more intense they get. This is because the further my focus is attuned, the less value that is ascribed to them. This is just 'witnessing' them. And after sessions when you can do that, you do think about them considerably less. Sitting around thinking about your HPPD all day is a negative thought process. It is negative thought processes that we don't want. We do want to have rational thought processes where we spend a reasonable, rational amount of time considering what might be our next move. But passed a point it becomes obsessive, anxious behaviour. You do sound like you are in a very difficult stage, brain roaring and all that. Time will heal you though, and cognitive work well help. It is really difficult to do cognitive work when your cognition isn't working that well. But there's absolutely no reason why you can't give it a go and maybe surprise yourself. I am sure if you put a lot of work in you can see some benefits. Perhaps quite quickly also. All it takes is one 'breakthrough' and you realise what can be done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iHaveSeenEvil Posted May 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 Will you at least respond properly? I feel that you didn't address the points made suggest escapism. You are right, doing coke is a terrible idea. I realize it, and I'm not denying it. Going through HPPD has entirely made me away that I'm predispositioned for lasting negative effects from drug use. I know I am not invincible, and I already have learned the hard way. Different people have different things that trigger their HPPD up. My point of saying that I've done cocaine was merely to imply that my brain isn't in some fragile state anymore. I do not advocate using any types of drugs, I even suggest people stay away from nicotine and caffeine, as that used to cause me issues. Bottom line, I was able to recover from serious HPPD issues. Whether or not I'm a dumb fucking piece of shit is another topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syntheso Posted May 26, 2014 Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 You are right, doing coke is a terrible idea. I realize it, and I'm not denying it. Going through HPPD has entirely made me away that I'm predispositioned for lasting negative effects from drug use. I know I am not invincible, and I already have learned the hard way. Different people have different things that trigger their HPPD up. My point of saying that I've done cocaine was merely to imply that my brain isn't in some fragile state anymore. I do not advocate using any types of drugs, I even suggest people stay away from nicotine and caffeine, as that used to cause me issues. Bottom line, I was able to recover from serious HPPD issues. Whether or not I'm a dumb fucking piece of shit is another topic I think you got out lightly.. five months is nothing man! If you really learned the hard way I am sure you would have a different attitude towards hard drugs. If you want to do cocaine, that's your choice. I'm happy you're better. But if that's all you want to take from your experience, I suggest it is a shame. You would think having HPPD, even for only 5 months, would be enough to impart someone with the idea that health and clarity are so much more desirable then quick fixes and more gambling with your already damaged brain. All it takes is one night where you get a bit drunk.. take a bit too much cocaine. I guess you have to take what you want from your experience though. Saying things like 'cocaine is irrelevant to [my] HPPD' should be brought into question. You have a responsibility in what you write. Someone vulnerable and likely to abuse drugs again might read that and convince themselves it is okay to use cocaine ("if it's okay for him, it will probably be okay for me"!). Even if you don't explicitly advocate doing cocaine again, the fact that you are willing to do cocaine again and imply it in what you write is negative to a recovery board. Wish you all the best. Really hope you don't end up back here, but if you do, I will tell you that I told you so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philipposc Posted June 10, 2014 Report Share Posted June 10, 2014 Hello people,(Succes story)almost 21 year old boy from the netherlands here.I got hppd by using xtc after onset of hppd i still used xtc 13 times cocaine around 60 and a lot of weed and alcohol.Symptoms: Visual snowFloatersAfter imagesTinnitus(earringing)Dearealisation(maybe also a litlle bit of dp)anxiety thoughts(creating weird scenarios in my head al the time where i am asshamed in)trough meditation my derealisation and anxiety went completely away.These where the 2 things wich made the past 3 years a hell.The visuals and tinnitus are less but im not annoyed by these symptoms.By meditation you make concact with the deepest part of your brain(your unconsiousness)This part of your sees what is good and bad. the bad things are going to be reset IM NOT BULLSHITTING HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!I did 2 times at least 10 minutes a day so in total 20 minuten.Within 2 months my dereqalisation and dp and anxiety went away.the visuals and symptoms are also less and maybe go away completely in the futute.SO THERE IS A CURE FOR HPPD AND ITS MEDITATION. Im going to post more in the near future about what meditation i exactly did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd24years Posted June 13, 2014 Report Share Posted June 13, 2014 Wow Ur winning!! Médiatique eh?? I kind of thought to myself that maybe u might be able to use another part of ur brain instead of the part that is damaged from drug abuse. Kind of like a to badly broken road to get u to where ur going so u take another road or detour to get u where ur going.. It does make sense.. So basically u are using another part of ur brain for ur sensory of sight and hearing instead of the damaged concurrent ones?? I always thought that was possible I even tried myself to get there.. If u have any insights in that regard feel free to express urself.. Thanks.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd24years Posted June 13, 2014 Report Share Posted June 13, 2014 Oh crap the first sentence in my comment above is suppose to say.. Wow ur winning!! Meditation eh?? Not médiatique lol.. Wrong language.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd24years Posted June 13, 2014 Report Share Posted June 13, 2014 My experience with HPPD; around the age of 17, four years ago, I began experimenting with various drugs: LSD, mushrooms, MDMA, mephedrone, ketamine, methoxetamine, the 2c's, amphetamines.. more. I was particularly interested in the psychedelics. I only smoked weed a bit when I was younger and it didn't agree with me so was never really part of my life. I did have a few terrifying experiences on it though during this 'phase'. I probably had around 20-30 big acid trips, 10-20 shrooms and a good few of the rest. I did a hell of a lot, basically. I don't remember having one bad trip (except for a couple on weed, which was rare). At this time of my life I also was deeply depressed due to breaking up with my first love. It took me around 1-2 years to get over fully. One day - I noticed things were still moving. My friend told me about HPPD. It went around three weeks later. Did some more stuff. It came back. At the time I wasn't making good decisions.. anyway, one day, it stuck permanently. Came and went a bit. But then it became really bad and more permanent, more towards the age of 18 (three years ago), and I realised how much it was affecting my life. The last two years up until the last few months were horrible. I hardly went into uni, spent days sleeping; painful to be awake.. you know the story. Visually, I have visual snow, pulsing in the dark, floaters, CEV's (sometimes), I have experienced things pulse in size dramatically back at the worse times, also seen things turn into things like a school of fish swimming towards my face (after relapsing due to taking some mephederone). Used to have trails. I am not sure what else might be relevant.. if you have any questions, let me know Now I am almost symptom free, and that is how it stays except for after a night drinking. Visuals still there but getting good at not letting them affect my life. Worst symptoms were chronic lethargy, brain fog, cognitive dysfunction. You? What do you expect? I think there is more for you to focus on than doing cocaine. This is a recovery forum for people who have lasting issues from substance use/abuse. You flippantly talk about taking more hard drugs juxtaposed by a 'success story'. The point being, if you continue hard drug use you will most probably no longer be a success story. It is really positive that you are feeling better, congratulations, but it is completely tainted when you say you are willing to throw it all away. What are your priorities? Is it to get high or to get well? You choose. Part of resolving issues with drugs is also having a healthy relationship with them (if you are going to have one). Drug seeking behaviour is not desirable. If you are willing to dice with permanent 'fucking hell', as you call it, to get high; if you are compelled enough to chase a very temporary fix for chronic pain, suffering; do you really think you have a healthy relationship with drugs? I actually find it very contemptible that you suggest I was being non-constructive. Perhaps you do not want to hear someone tell you that you should not take cocaine. But maybe you need to hear it... I'm not trying to take your fun away. I still go out and party, drink heavily sometimes (which I do regret). It does negatively affect my recovery, but cocaine... particularly not a good move as it has a similar action to the responsible inducing drugs. If you don't learn from your mistakes and other people's, what's the point, really? You obviously want to learn the hard way.. Will you at least respond properly? I feel that you didn't address the points made suggest escapism. I will do everything I can to get through to you. I wish I had been wise. Do you want to risk reviewing this post later on in life, in pain, wishing you had followed the words someone tried to get through to you? Being wise sounds better to me.. Hey there Syntheso, I have had one long ride with this transient episodic mind alteration to say the least.,. My hallucination are pretty devastating and constant not periodical.. I'm sure you have seen my list on here in that regard.. The hallucinations are so severe I literally throw up sometimes.. For some reason I can get very nauseous from tracers, elongated beams, static vision, afterimages and 3-d thick streamers.. (One day I might be able to make balloon animals out of them) Yuppie can't wait for that!!! I"m hopeful that there will be a true diagnostic criteria designated for Hppd not a fostered conventional pharmaceutical antidote from Multiple sclerosis, Autism, Alzheimer's, seizures, dementia, etc.. I do like the 23andme with the different variations and functions of cells pertaining to our gens.. The human Genome is quiet its own world made up of millions of S.N.P.s that make us the individuals we are.. Hopefully we can narrow down a few things with the results of our tests coming back soon.. Take good care of yourself Syntheso and others!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RLS Posted June 14, 2014 Report Share Posted June 14, 2014 I'm actually more concerned with your seroquel use then I would ever be about cocaine. It took my ex-fiance a few years to get off that stuff because it made her feel like a zombie but it's very addictive and hard to get off. The only reason I would rather not do cocaine again would be because of the damage done to the heart. Not because it would do anything to your brain other give yourself an aneurysm if possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iHaveSeenEvil Posted June 19, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2014 I'm actually more concerned with your seroquel use then I would ever be about cocaine. It took my ex-fiance a few years to get off that stuff because it made her feel like a zombie but it's very addictive and hard to get off. The only reason I would rather not do cocaine again would be because of the damage done to the heart. Not because it would do anything to your brain other give yourself an aneurysm if possible. The seroquel was prescribed to me by a psychiatrist when I was having extremely severe insomnia. I wasn't able to sleep for days at a time, and even nights I did get sleep it was insanely restless and poor. (This was all pre-HPPD). I feel comfortable taking that in moderation because it was given to me by a doctor. I also take between 1/8 and 1/4 of what is prescribed. I do also try not to take it much because I have the same issues as your ex-fiance with turning into a total zombie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lallo Posted July 25, 2017 Report Share Posted July 25, 2017 Hello! I've red your old post about your recovery! How are you feeling today? Any advice to me? I've had HPPD symptoms since 8 months but they are getting a lot better. Eating healthy, working out 6 times a week, meditation etc. I've Always lived a very healthy Lifestyle. Glad that you made it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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