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friends that don't understand or think its a joke


kyle99942
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i don't no what to do my friends seem to be the thing keeping me from healing cus I'm hiding my thoughts or bottling them up cus i can't explain the way i feel there willing to listen tho just don't and can't get it although there good friends they always try to get me to blaze which i quit because of flashbacks and drink which just is getting in the way of healing some of them think I'm being a bitch and that i just need to not let it happen that i can control dpdr and hppd and all the other symptoms i have and i don't no what to about the way i feel i just want to let it out and talk to  my friends like they do to me with there pedestrian problems that make them feel like the world is ending but they just can't understand what I'm going through and i just want to stop drinking cus wen i drink i just hallucinate more and its not helping me heal but i don't no what to say wen they ask me why I'm telling them i can't drink

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To be honest I struggle with this aspect of HPPD myself. But it´s certainly not easy coming up with excuses every time and based on what you wrote it seems to me that you feel like bottling up things inside have a direct negative impact on you. Therefore I would urge you to tell them exactly how you´re feeling e.g. what you experience when drinking. If they either don´t want or have the ability to empathize with what you´re going through, even though it may be hard to understand for them, you should perhaps reconsider your friends (this goes for me as well). I guess you could always say you´ve acquired some rare form of epilepsy and have to stay sober to avoid further damage.

 

Not trying to be a dick or anything, but it would be nice if you could use some punctuation :) Good luck! 

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U shouldn't feel peer pressured by ur friends...of they were enduring the horrible nightmare they would have to quite everything aswel!! Don't sacrifice ur healing because of ur friends and drinking and drugs it's so not worth it !!! Hppd is a fuking tormenting hell hole and I'd rather quit drinking and drugs forever then to be stuck like this forever

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One of this biggest issues I have is trying to portray how I feel to other people.

Anyone with zero psychedelic experience will NEVER know what we are going through.

EVER.

I am fortunate enough to have a close friend who went through the same thing, and he is better to the point where it doesn't affect his everyday life.

He says his DPDR is rare now, and only happens during extreme hangovers. Which is irrelevant, but a success I hold dear to my heart.

It's something that non HPPD people will never understand, and it sucks.

I do have some friends who at least try to empathize, and don't act like I'm fucking around.

It's a true trial of friends =/

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I agree with everyone here.

 

Personally, I've had to essentially stop hanging out with ALL of my friends. In a way, that's probably better because at times I can feel pretty terrible and be rather un-functional, especially so after my niacinamide experiment in the middle of february (interestingly, around the 'anniversary' of the events that caused my HPPD). I still talk to a few of my long time friends via facebook, texting, etc. The last time I saw my 'friends' (well, only one or two of them are true friends, I've come to realize, the rest are just acquaintances) was probably 2 months ago; I may end up seeing one of my long time friends (since middle school/beginning of high school) soon, as we are both going through a lot of problems, and thus he has some foundation of understanding - he doesn't have HPPD but has had a history of similar issues, and has recently went through benzo withdrawal and now has frequent panic attacks and residual anxiety. We're both willing to try some benzo-derivatives and alternatives, so if anything we can experiment with them while working on some music and just having therapeutic conversations. 

 

Overall, though, I don't have the social life I once had where I was out literally every single day, and on weekends/breaks from school I'd often stay out until 4am and only get a few hours of sleep per night. In fact, it's the exact opposite. I don't get out or do much other than when I'm with my fiance and/or her/my family. Besides for my fiance and immediate family, along with my one friend who I spoke about, I don't have much social contact outside of forums such as this and some facebook groups. In fact, I've got to say I'm tremendously gracious for many of the people I've come across on a variety of forums and groups, where I've had some very intellectual, oftentimes emotional conversations. Some I may even skype with. I don't consider myself socially isolated by any means, but I'm not very socially active, either. Since this is very detrimental to both hormonal and nervous system functioning, I may start up some other hobbies for the time being until some things I've been trying really work out for me; I'm probably going to start gaming again, specifically playing The Elder Scrolls Online, which would involve a lot of socialization (also, I've been finding some interesting studies showing various forms of gaming increasing cortical thickness and increasing brain functioning outside of a gaming atmosphere, such as surgeons having enhanced surgical abilities if they play FPS video games). I may start some minor form of permaculturing and planting, too, along with teaching myself what I view as important skills, for instance, ordering DIY/home-constructable biology/chemistry labs, programming lessons, or learning Polish. 

 

If you feel as though something is getting in the way of you healing, even if it is your friends, dispose of that 'something'. I actually regret a lot of the decisions I made with people I previously viewed as friends, because I had HPPD for months without necessarily believing it was HPPD, and thus still smoked weed and abused benzo's and alcohol, took amphetamine-like compounds, and so forth. I'd imagine that simply exacerbated things.

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The problem is that friends should be as supportive as family. If that is truly the case then LISTENING should come naturally. It's unfortunate HPPD came into our lives but only by talking about it will people become more aware of it. This condition is not rare and has many triggers but society, rather than help, kicks us to the curb. Don't allow that to happen. Keep the conversation going and the dialogue will change.

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