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quick afterimage question (DO I HAVE HPPD ? question)


noaydi
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Hi

I was really probably having an account some years ago here but forgot password and stuff.

Not wanting to go deep in my story but I experimented salvia d. years ago (2006), got depersonalization for month, stopped drugs for some years apart really occasionnal joints.
I'm unemployed since 1,5 years, and took various drugs in this period, stimulant (5apb, 3mmc, 4mec, methylone, speed...), dissociatives (K, N2O, mxe...), psyche (4acoDMT),downer (various benzo, codeine, kratom...) As u can see it have been a wild 1 year ride.

 

I ended a massive binge 2 days ago (4fa, 5apb, and was OFF MY TITS from a 4acoDMT/mxe combo, speaking with imaginary ppl, OEV/CEV, delusionnal thinking & stuff).

That's the last drugs binge for at least 6 month because I found employment :) last tuesday.

 

The stuff is that I'm really aware of psychedelic risk, as HPPD, depersonalization, being fucked forever... I'm a reader of this forum and dpselfhelp. I'm a bit paranoid about these shit if you want to know 

 

I got a bit paranoid at the end of the effects of the last 4acoDMT intake because I noticed increased awareness of positive afterimage (looking at my grey cat then at a wall :P) and remembering all the story about hppd. Even now, 2 days after the binge, it seem Ive some increased awareness of positive after image, but I'm not really sure if I'm just paranoid and having these afterimage before or if this 4acoDMT trip fucked a bit my vision.

Though It would be strange that my positive after image have increased because I notice no major increase in my "normal" tracers, or other major deffect in vision (no negative after image, no more statics than before, no fucked up vision). 

 

Hence I want to ask you how do you percieve your positive after image ?

What I see is especially when I look at object in front of a clear wall and look to the clear wall, I see for let say 0,3s the positive afterimage of the stuff (not all the image : a transparent and uncomplete image). These after image arent present for all object, ie my vision is not fucked, it's not a big deal, I can ignore this distortion easily. Is this normal ? is this HPPD ? I don't remember reading anywhere that positive after image was normal aside if it come from a strong contrast (like sun or lightbulb).

 

I've no really important other symptom aside feeling really shitty from the binge, I hope that will pass, this is probably just a comedown. My other visual "symptoms" are the same than before (ie light visual snow I've since I'm young, same for halo around light at night, unchanged. No OEV, no CEV, no trail.)

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Okay, thx for your quick responses. Anyway I'm not that worried at this time, my main worry is that I feel a bit fucked and this is bad regarding my reaction to music, I need to play in a pub in 1 week, I need to be ok, this is my passion I don"t want to loose it. I don't count anymore the amount of time I've had this fear (never being able to be creative in my way anymore in music due to detrimental drug after effect - I got at least 3 dp episodes from drugs, weeks of depression/brainfuck from speed-like binge, weeks of epic bad mental withdrawal from opiate really similar to dp aside it was even more debilitating especially since I discover only after that it was withdrawals, at the time I thought I just fucked my head one more time from all the MXE I consummed at the same moment of opiates - yes I'm a burned head) . I too haven't worked for 1,5 year and need to be ok for working next tuesday (I think I'm approximately okay for that).

For the visual symptom I'm aware that it's really minor, if it don't go away (assuming it wasn't present before - a thing I'm not even sure) that's not that aggravating aside I'll probably be not allowed to connect to the psyche wave anymore :( :( (fear of full blown hppd). 

 

 

Compared to this video I've the "faint" version (tested with key on my desk like the video - on a wall it's more beetween faint and mild depending to the object) : 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va4KhD3WemQ

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So, what's the question again? :)

No-one can tell you if you have HPPD yet. What you have sounds like a combination of anxiety, hyper-focusing on normal visual phenomena and some after effects of a hefty drug binge. Or it might be mild HPPD, no way to tell. Lay off the drugs and give it some time :-)

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I'm forced to lay off the drugs due to my new work situation. I plan to do a pause for at least 6 month, seeing my previous 2 month abuse.

 

My question was only if light positive after image was a part of normal experience or not... My gf seem to not experiencing them, my mother seem to experiencing them. I'm like you I've 0 way to know if these light after image was present before my trip or not. I've only this light panilopsia problem, no OEV, no CEV, no trailing, no increase of negative after image, light to moderate snowy vision I've always had.

 

I hope it's not a sign of HPPD since I don't really want to stop trippin on 5ht2a psyche, something like 1 or 2 time a year (never had problem with NMDA antagonist though, even at absurd dose).

 

 

(side note : from my previous binge I experienced a 48h body high as after effect... no joke... Perhaps one can say it was an afterglow, but it felt more intense than a typical afterglow to me... Didn't know it was even possible... It ended only somewhere today, perhaps with help of tetrazepam I took yesterday)

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Some people have positive after-images with HPPD, yes. I personally don't - I have pronounced negative after-images, though, which I believe is slightly more common with HPPD. But as I said before: you really won't know until you know whether it is Hallucinogenic Persisting Perception Disorder - i.e. if it lasts beyond the expected transient post-trip disturbances :)

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Today it seem I'm a bit better, less anxious, but it seem my emotionnal response is still diminished. Not as hard as yesterday thought, and not to the point of full blown DPDR. Hope this will pass. Vision is more clear, but really light positive after image are always here in certain condition if I look for them.

 

 

just railed 40mg MXE & had a drink.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I assume u are young and ur brain is flicking back and forth with the little red fella in ur left ear while the right ear is accompanied by the halo dude. Don't fall for the pure pressure because u are the one who has to live in ur shell for the rest of ur life;) it appears to me ur body is showing signs as almost like a prerequisite to the final that might be finalized:) that would be H.P.P.D. Trust.

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