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pickl
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Hello HHPD community-

 

I am Pickl, and I have been with this unfortunate disorder for around 4 months now. I sought medical help in early January due to increased fits of depression, anxiety, and losing my ability to function normally at work. I joined this community because I hope to find the right people to talk to about this ongoing madness that just seems not to decrease in severity.

 

The medical help I have sought is through a free clinic as I do not have insurance at the moment, and so far I have tried 4 different medications that all seem to not have any effect.

 

My biggest issue with HPPD is my disocial disability, and the worry that I may never be able to function in this world properly again. I am a concrete construction worker as current, and am laid off due to the deep frost of the 2013-14 winter- This job is proving to be suuuper stressful and before the lay-off, every day became worse and worse with insomnia. I would ask too many questions and needed help with everything.

 

I know that everyone's case is different, but I am very interested to compare stories and try to find out what I have to do to keep a steady job, manage a family, and still be able to laugh and have fun with life.

 

NOTE: I have had many thoughts of suicide since the inciting incident in November of 2013, however, I am not actively suicidal due to the hurt I know it would cause my friends and family.

 

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Hi pickl, very sorry to hear about your predicaments. I would love to hear which medications you have tried. If you feel like it, I'd be interested in hearing about the incident which brought on HPPD in the first place.

The fact that you've come here, and found what is presumably the correct diagnosis, is a step towards recovery, I'd say :)

As for dealing with stressful situations and anxiety with this condition, I'm afraid I don't have any pointers. I'm still trying to learn how to do this.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have a constant fuzz as if you were looking at a tv with static, halos around lights. If i look at any sort of wood or carpet parttern it flows in random directions. I have a real problem with racing thoughts of how independet and well off I was before my incident. I struggle with having to ask everyone in my life, wether it be at work- I forget things easily and can't seem to stay focused or am too scared to put someting in the wrong place. once I complete an easy task of putting scrap metal away, and have been instructed to pick up another area, or paint this or that, I have to ask 5 questions before I am able to attempt the task- then while performing the task, I wonder if I am doing it right or thinking of other struggles in my life. After i complete the task, i am informed it was not done to standard eventhough someone showed me how to do it properly.

 

My condition was brought on from mixing what I presumed to be lsd and mdma- the night that I did this, the next morning, I was informed that my aunt had passed, and I hadn't vistited her while she was ill. So alot of guilt, and depression came from this, however, I do believe my persisting anxiety, depression, derealization, and depersonalizeation are strictly from the mixing of the two substances.

 

Note: I had been an avid lsd and mdma user before hand, but was able to recover and be myself everytime after use-

 

The doc tried me on fluoxitine, cytalopram, nortriptoline for sleep, and I am now on clenazipam- prior to seeking medical help, I tried lorazapam, which seemed to work for a few weeks as far as keeping my mind at work and not having racing thoughts, however, I do not want to have to go through dependency and withdrawl- i want to figure this out ASAP before I go completly bonkers and screw up my life more than it is.

 

I am starting to realize, benzos only help the anxiety, insomnia, and some of the depression- Im starting to loose hope with meds, and would really like to talk to someone who is experienced in dealing with this disorder.

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Bonjour Pickl, très peu après avoir informé l'abonné conformément?? Ilya du monde entier pour la prochaine entendit.. Cal de grandes marques qui sont à gagner avec une autre chose qu'un homme pour tournage pour les..

Browse around bra and u will see a lot of testimonial experiences from a whole array of pharmas from peeps on here.. There is one guy that comes to mind by the name of 'Onedayiwillsailagain' he is a titan in regards to knowing specific helpful and nonhelpful meds as well as multiple practical experiences. He could give u some guidance in that regard.

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