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One of the most upsetting things about HPPD for me is how difficult I find it to enjoy music. The combination of anhedonia and fucked up memory make it incredibly tough to have a good time of listening to music. It just doesn't prompt the same intense emotional response it used to... it's just kind of there, and I can't think about it properly, can't remember the song that came before, can't properly juxtapose it with other music or the artist's other works, etc. It used to be one of my biggest hobbies; I'd have something playing whenever I was able to, was always looking for new stuff, etc. Now I rarely do because it's the most painful reminder of how much I've changed. Artists I love are releasing new stuff and I don't even wanna go anywhere near it :(

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Music has been ruined for me too most of the time; I can't sing along to my favourite songs due to speech issues as well as simply not remembering the lyrics of songs I knew by heart, yet when I do listen to music, I'll have snippets echoing in my head all day long. I used to sing every day; not that I was any good at it, but it sure made for a much better mood.
This is why I try to listen to music without lyrics these days.. classical guitar radio etc. Last night I couldn't sleep because I kept hearing "Got to be bold, in your endeavours.." over and over..

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I'm right there with you completely man. I'm such a songbird... Now the habit of singing aloud combined with having the snippets on repeat will have me around the house just singing out loud the one or two lines over and over... Pretty abnormal. Pretty embarrassing. It was the theme to "A Goofy Movie" earlier tonight after hearing it for the first time, ffs. "One way or another, together's where we both belong!"

 

I'm always caught between instrumental music and vocal music... Vocals are distracting and get stuck, but at the same time make it easier to focus on and remember the music, so I tend to gravitate more towards them, I suppose.

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I hear u on that.. I played in bands wrote music played guitar just totally bathed myself in music. Now I can't even pick my guitar up or have no interest in it what so ever. The first few years when I initially received hppd I was fucked then later on in time I started playing again as the disorder decreased. Then it came back stronger then before. I lost interest again it just ripped me apart from my compassion with listening to music and playing it.

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Oh i do enjoy music! especially when i am on my bike and for example "rage against the machine- killing in the name" comes along it makes me smile and feel like i am going to beat my HPPD.

Also when i am a little relax and sit in the train I enjoy my music, not the people talking, when i go sit in my house or behind my computer i cant get in that state.

Thing is i like other music more now, energizers. sometimes, i do listen love songs (yes, i do.) I sometimes drop a tear. Which is good, I think.

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im quite the opposite. music helps me keep my mind of hppd and i tend to enjoy it more thoroughly because i rather focus on music then my surroundings. However, i do sometimes experience the random snippets of 'echoing' of what i heard earlier in the day. I guess thats just our excited brain shooting random neurons.

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