I relapsed, this sucks

[Mr.50's]

I fucking relapsed this weekend. I needed a break and smoked a bunch of pot now everything is worse. I was so close to recovery I actually felt normal! Now I'm scared all the tim, can't sleep, visuals are worse, I'm just do fucking scared. I know it was stupid but I don't know what to do now.

[Jay1]

Do what you did before, stay sober, excerise, eat well....you will recover... Just learn from this mistake and realize that you and drugs just don't mix.

[bpl4269]

I feel you man. I had extremely mild hppd that was almost gone and then I went and decided to smoke again and it came back worse than before. It will abate to a certain extent. Mine did improve again, but I fear it will never be as mild as it used to be. Everyone is different though, so who knows. It might not have any perm effects on you as it did me.

[Mr.50's]

Thanks for the reponces, my visuals aren't as bad as yesterday but I'm freaking the fuck out. I've thrown up 6 times today at school from the anxiety alone, I can't get picked up either chase both of my parents are at work. I just feel like I was cured which I basically was and I just hit the restart button, literally.

[bpl4269]

Live and learn. Dont beat yourself up man.

[Mr.50's]

Bpl4269, thanks ill just live with it, been doing that for quite some time anyways

[andrewcb]

Hey, I relapsed a few weeks ago, I did coke 3 times and drank about everyday for a week. I felt like hammered shit for a week, it has been almost 2 weeks since I have done anything and I am about 80% back to where I was at. But the first week was real hard, it really showed me I can't be doing that stuff, even if you have been clean for a year it isn't worth it because 1 time can set you back pretty far. I've been smoking this stuff called Kanna which seems to be helping me out somewhat, something worth looking into if you want a high feeling, it takes about a week or 2 before you really get good effects, don't over do it either, you literally need 50mg-100mg and that is it. Don't let this get you down from my experience it is just a set back that will heal fairly quick. Good luck

[Puppeteer]

Yeah, by far the most important thing for us HPPDers is to really grab a hold of the affirmation that regret can only be destructive, and does little more then prolong your suffering into the future. We all make mistakes man - HPPD is so cruel in that it makes you feel depressed and hopeless to the point that you wind up doing reckless things to deal with it and often wind up in an even worse place. It's in the past; you can't change it, but you can learn and grow from it. It will get better man, and not getting anxious and stressed about it will make it go away that much quicker. Best of luck.