hi everyone

[terrenceparker93]

hi everyone im kinda new to having hppd and yes I know its hppd haha thanks to my psychiatrist anyway I guess ill start off by stating how I got hppd. Ive been a major pot head for the past three years well this summer my friend introduced me to 25c nbome I tripped so hard but I loved every second of it we were at this place called blackhand gorge I loved it the second time I tried it 25c again all went good and tripped hard again the third time though was off of nbome-25b I didn't like this one at all for the first thing when I first started tripping I didn't even feel like I was tripping I just felt like I was really fucked up until I went outside and watched a whole building melt to the ground then the last time I took it it was 25i it made me shiver and gave me the worst stomach ache but I didn't even have a bad trip after that I really didn't have hppd except id start lightly tripping after smoking weed that was up until a few weeks ago when I smoked this spice chemical that really sent me into a bad trip I mean a really bad trip I felt like I was suffocating the walls were moving in ot n me I was scared shitless by a comedy movie and my eyesight was like zooming in and out sorry I know u guys didthn't want to hear my life story but anyways after that I noticed that everywhere had the snow that didn't really bother me then one day I smoked a ton of dro and it ended up causing me to have a flashback and I started feeling like I was shrinking and had an anxiety attack that was a few days ago and my symptoms got worse because of it now I have crazy eye closed visuals any constant humming sound sounds like hell to me have big old circle floaters and on top of that major tracers from anything that moves do u think it will get better if I quit weed or do u think ill have hppd no matter what anything would help thanks guys

[brake]

If you stay away from everything it will get better. I`m almost 8 months in and although it got a whole lot better it doesn`t totally go away. It`s as if as soon as I start feeling like myself again and try to exert mental will power (like I used to prior to HPPD) it comes back. I feel like I have to train myself to feel normal again without focusing on the visuals and letting them get to me. The only symptom that I had no improvement in whatsoever is the visual snow.

I have found the ways of dealing with anxiety and intrusive thoughts mentioned in these sites to be helpful:

http://ocdfree.tumblr.com/howtoovercomeintrusivethoughts

http://www.drmartinseif.com/resources/intrusive-thoughts.html

http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=672450

Let me know if that helps!

[terrenceparker93]

thank u it does help a lot when I take the advice and apply it to my scenario my worst fear is to start tripping again and never stop I just get so anxious over it

[brake]

I had the same exact thing but that feeling of tripping again slowly and gradually fades. I still have that feeling but it doesn`t compare in intensity to how it was the first 6 months.

[terrenceparker93]

do you every worry that your going crazy I feel like this also gives me panic attacks

[brake]

Yes but after awhile you realize this is more PTSD and anxiety related rather than actually going crazy. Just hang in there and then you will begin to notice that you are more sane than crazy lol. My thoughts have become clearer over time. I can actually focus again and not have HPPD be the only thing that is on my mind. It takes time and a lot of hard work. Your confidence in yourself will slowly and gradually return.

[terrenceparker93]

thank you so much im so glad I found this forum uve been so helpful

[brake]

No problem! Yes this forum is great! Just keep at it!