Trying cocaine

[makaveli]

My hppd has bin pretty bad for about a year now, it's bin getting gradually better. bin sober since last winter some time. Apart from getting really drunk for my buddy's 19 birthday a month ago. I've already had to come to terms with the fact that I'm never gonna smoke weed or do phsycadelics again witch is very hard for me to accept. I don't think I have enough will power to stop drugs all together though, and I'm thinking of trying cocaine with some friends who have done it. Would only be a one time thing. So I'm just wondering what experiences you guys have had with coke and your thoughts. I know it's not the brightest idea, but I wanna try it at least once

[chrismo]

Coke significantly exacerbated my symptoms. I would urge you not to try it, not even once. You should know by now that one time is all it takes and that it is really not worth the risk.

[Syntheso]

Well, anything that messes with your dopamine is going to mess with your HPPD. Not so long ago I did a fair bit of drone (yes, okay, don't judge me, shit happens!) and for a week or so afterwards, my visuals went to new levels. My vision was distorting so much that the outline of some fairy lights on my ceiling in the dark turned into a huge school of black fish swimming right up to my face. I've never had visuals like that. And I felt particularly foggy for a few months after. As for coke.. well.. I imagine it would mess you up as much if it was decent coke and you got off your rockers. I've had a few lines here or there whilst with HPPD and can't say much happened to my HPPD.. but then again I can't say much happened with the 'coke'.. 'cause then again most coke is shit unless you have more money than sense.

So, I guess... you could buy some shit coke and do it for the sake of ritual and it might not mess with your HPPD ;-)

But basically man.. if I were you, I wouldn't take any coke... unless the concentrated peak experience outweighs the consequences, for you.

[Kellen]

I can not express enough how much of a bad idea this is. Do not do blow. As someone who was addicted for many years I can vouch. It exasperates hppd and depersonalization. Not to mention its just a shit drug all around. Drains your money, your serotonin and it will take you places you never wanted to go. Such a vacuous habit. Thank god I was able to quit.

[onedayillsailagain]

^What Kellen said.

I've done coke pre- and post-HPPD. It made HPPD and associated anxiety a thousand fold worse, and I just felt worthless after. Also I was far more susceptible to the paranoia that one can get from cocaine. It was horrible. That said, I still prefer it over Amphetamines though. If I was forced to choose, I'd go for blow.
What's your buzz man? If it's stimulation you seek, there are (safer and legal) alternatives. Give Modafinil a try. Co-incidentally I just made a new thread on herbal alternatives over at the "Pharmacological and Medication" section, so you might want to check there. Though most of it is aimed more at tranquility rather than stimulation. If you want energy/motivation/stimulation etc. you can try Ginseng, Guarana, etc. I'm not that knowledgeable about the stimulant alternatives, because I'm prone to anxiety, but there are many alternatives you can consider. Some supplements have all kinds of stimulants in them, as there's even "herbal coke" (though I'd advise to check out the ingredients first.. hell post back here if you need some advice on a product you're considering). In any case, coke's best avoided. And if you absolutely must, then I'd suggest you have a benzo handy for the comedown or if it gets too much.

Cheers.

[Merkan]

Never had any issue with Coke though i have not used it since my worsening. Anyway, witht our without HPPD, wanna go ultimate narcissist, its for you. I hate that Coke and opiates are the only things can be used (in moderation in my case) cuz they bring me nothing that i desire. Cant even have a beer or anything else.

Emphatogenes, is a real pitty they worsen HPPD permanently in many cases. Those are "good" drugs used in moderation for recreational use. Psychedelics are more tools imo.

[miketusa]

I did it with no problems. Woke up the enxt day feeling a little out of it, but after a while I was fine. My visuals have worsened as a result of the frequent party weekends and all that comes along with them.

 

Hopefully things will slow down over the next few months.

 

Anyways, I wouldnt do it. My HPPD is pretty mild these days. My problems are mainly visual at this point.

[disguyhere]

_{if ir not ok with herbal dont try to replace with coke.. as pretty much everyone else has already pointed out too many negatives, too few positives.}

 

_{here's an idea a friend of mine is trying... drink kava kava teas. helps him deal with his own lesser extent hppd now that he's stuck unable to herbalize anymore..} http://www.sagewisdom.org/danielsiebert.html ... sells the strongest kava extract that you can find

[Jay1]

Also worth noting, anything you are buying off a dealer will be cut to shit, hopefully just with something non harmful, but you never know what crap might be in it that could fuck with your hppd.

 

Can't you just enjoy the fact that you seem to be getting better? Isn't that enough of a buzz?

[Syntheso]

Can't you just enjoy the fact that you seem to be getting better? Isn't that enough of a buzz?

Quoted for emphasis.

[miketusa]

Can't you just enjoy the fact that you seem to be getting better? Isn't that enough of a buzz?

 

You would think so.

[Kellen]

Also worth noting, anything you are buying off a dealer will be cut to shit, hopefully just with something non harmful, but you never know what crap might be in it that could fuck with your hppd.

This is a major point. Every time you are playing Russian roulette. It may not be the blow that gets you. But what it can be cut with will fuck your mind up. I know it sounds like after school special talk, but I mean really, why take your sanity into your hands like that? I fucking wish i was getting better man dont take that for granted. I was curious too and it started out as a one time thing but trust me it won't end there. I was responsible for getting some of my friends hooked and that's a shitty feeling.

Also be prepared to reveal your darkest secrets to complete strangers.

[onedayillsailagain]

I was responsible for getting some of my friends hooked and that's a shitty feeling. 

^Yeah for sure, same here. That alone is reason enough to never touch the stuff again.

[morbide]

Scheiße! Coke is the only drug i want to try after i got hppd. Guess i'll have to stick to alcohol...

[makaveli]

Thanks for the feed back guys. I've decided not to try my luck and just stay away from it.

[makaveli]

Thanks for the feed back guys. I've decided not to try my luck and just stay away from it.

[Kellen]

Good call man. I can say in all confidence you made the right choice.

[Jay1]

Good call... You're not missing much anyway, it's a shit drug.

[WuWei]

Agreed... and everyone says "It's a one time thing" their first time. 

 

Cocaine is part of the problems I'm going to have to deal with the rest of my life.

[onedayillsailagain]

^ I'm convinced my past cocaine use is why I've chronic sinusitis now. My current tobacco use obviously isn't helping, but prior to my cocaine use it was never a problem and I could breathe relatively normal.

Anyway; I echo jay and Kellen.

[miketusa]

I'm glad that you elected not do it. You are much stronger willed than I am. I got into it again last weekend and the results were a $700 party night.

 

I'm done. Trust me.

 

I've locked myself in a room ala Trainspotting. Going to get a psychiatrist and just deal with all my issues so that can cease my concurrent drug use.

 

Hopefully what recoveries I have made have not been jeopardized and lost.

 

I want to thank this board for all the support. You guys really keep me straight and make me feel like an idiot. Which is what I need!

 

Again good choice Makaveli.