How bad can it really get at this point??

[L.I.M.O.W]

Long story short I made a thread on here about a yr ago about having hppd...and how I got it. In the post I mentioned how I was drinking alcohol and smoking weed pretty much everyday ( I've had hppd for 2 yrs now)

Now Fast forward to about 6 months ago I was browsing through these forums and I was reading something on here (cant exactly remember) about someone having some symptoms and explained their hppd got worse after smoking weed. Now A couple weeks later one night I drink a couple beers, smoke a bowl fall asleep and wake up with exact symptoms! I believe it was patterned vision and after images...

Now even though its been 6 months I still try to figure out did I subconsciously somehow worry myself into seeing these things? Or is it just coincidence and it really did get worse?? I mean I could be in denial because I definitely do have the symptoms.. but Im wondering had I not read about em would I even be seeing em? It sounds crazy... but with the way this whole shit has gone.. I dont know what to think anymore lol..

And referring to the title of my post... I pretty much have every symptom in the book... constant DR, patterns on the walls, shaking edges, my brain kinda "glitching" when I turn my head like something moved when it didnt, noise (even though I dont see it unless I look for it), after images, seeing white swirly things when I stare into a blue sky long enough, and Im sure some more things Im forgetting right now... all this 24/7...

Im just thankful that I've been through alot in my life that made me strong and have dealt with depression 10 yrs... and as soon as I was pretty much over it...... BAM!!!!! I get this bullshit. But I refuse to let it break me because I just look at it as another obstacle in my life that I have to deal with.

Anyway... even with all this.. as stupid as it sounds I still feel the need to smoke weed. Like I said in my first post I got this stupid shit cause I accidentally smoked a laced blunt. I've never done any other kind of drugs in my life. And Im kinda pissed off cause all I wanna do is go back to smoking my weed to relax... but then again Im kinda tired of having to readjust to all these new symptoms.

I guess this is just a question for the older folks that have been dealing with this for some years and took the same approach Im taking... is there ever an end to new symptoms?? Like once u get em all, u just learn to deal with em and it cant get any worse?? Or do new symptoms just keep popping up until you really cant function

Sorry for the long winded post.. but Id just like some input from people that have dealt with this.. cause trying to explain it to my friends got em looking at me like Im psycho lol.

Thanks in advance.

Oh and to any kids that are new to hppd reading this..... STAY AWAY FROM MARIJUANA!! You could smoke constantly day and night and be fine.. but all it takes is just that ONE time to make your symptoms permanently worse... believe me.. you dont wanna end up like me lol (seriously)

[L.I.M.O.W]

yea I drink everyday too man... although I cant really blame that on hppd cause I've been doing it for years mainly due to depression. But the DP/DR certainly doesn't help.

[Jay1]

I've not really seen any change in symptoms, for better or worse, since I hit the 2-3 year point (17 years now)

I can get spikes though.... weed, salvia, booze, wrong medication and stress have all trigged month+ spikes in visuals and anxiety.

But in general, i think i have hit my hppd "wall".

The other thing to consider though.... the weed, booze etc might not be making you any worse, but it might be stopping you from getting better.

[gill]

My experience is that I made it worse by trying to constantly control it. It can be difficult to just let it be but we forget easily how much our bodies heal themselves. If, we give them the chance that is...

[Sammywalker2009]

I'm around the 2 year mark I pretty much have all the symptoms now they were less severe when I was exercising and being really healthy I felt if I carried on the way I was going I'd of beat it and then I got another illness which stopped me working out and bammmm my symptoms progressed everso slowly now they're worse as they've ever been

[415_stylee]

I've had HPPD for 7 years now. Nothing has gotten worse, neither has it improved by itself. Just the same ol severe visuals every day I wake up and fall asleep (and in ... Keppra and benzos have alleviated som symptoms but I'm not really cured, I don't think I'll ever be but it's ok. HPPD is my standard state of vision and perception now..

 

I completely stopped using drugs in August 2006, and have not fallen back into the negative circle.

[extremist]

Sure wish I read this thread earlier.  I found that weed made my symptoms, which I think are HPPD, worse for a day or two after, but then I was at my "normal" level of DR and visuals.  I figured it didn't hurt if it was temporary and it dramatically helped with my depression, so I smoked a lot.  Now I'm hoping that didn't make this last longer!

[themagain]

Sure wish I read this thread earlier.  I found that weed made my symptoms, which I think are HPPD, worse for a day or two after, but then I was at my "normal" level of DR and visuals.  I figured it didn't hurt if it was temporary and it dramatically helped with my depression, so I smoked a lot.  Now I'm hoping that didn't make this last longer!

I've found that nearly every time that I've smoked weed since i got HPPD, it has made things worse. For example my trails started after taking one hit of dank, and then got much worse after smoking again after that. Sometimes I get peer-pressured into smoking at a party, and I find that when I'm drunk it's a lot harder to turn down the pot. But interestingly enough, I've found that if I smoke weed when I'm really drunk already, it has much less of an effect (long-term) than if I were to just smoke weed and nothing else. I think that has something to do with being less anxious about it when I'm drunk, idk.

[miketusa]

I've found that nearly every time that I've smoked weed since i got HPPD, it has made things worse. For example my trails started after taking one hit of dank, and then got much worse after smoking again after that. Sometimes I get peer-pressured into smoking at a party, and I find that when I'm drunk it's a lot harder to turn down the pot. But interestingly enough, I've found that if I smoke weed when I'm really drunk already, it has much less of an effect (long-term) than if I were to just smoke weed and nothing else. I think that has something to do with being less anxious about it when I'm drunk, idk.

This. If I get drunk marijuana affects me like it used to - pre hppd. Without, Im a mess. That being said this makes me wonder how much of it is psychosemtaic.