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Ever present loneliness...


Dylan L
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It does not matter who i'm around, except a few people i work with, whom i do not see nearly enough... I am all-together lonely as hell... I don't even know what to say about it... maybe i'm just posting a topic because there is nobody to speak to in the chat room. but... im so lonely....

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It is something you can try and do something about..... Why not try and arrange a night out with your work friends? Maybe there is a social group for ex-military in your area where you could meet people who share a common background? If you are single, what about online dating?

If you are generally shy and find it hard to meet new people.... Just start slowly, make a bit of small talk with, say, the local shop owner you buy your groceries from.... Just start rebuilding your social skills a step at a time.

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I appreciate all of the comments.

Jay: I can barely ever see the people I work with anymore and built a brotherhood with because when they all went home during our last deployment, I overclocked and stayed for 3 extra months, so now Im sitting at home on restrictive duty until February and am only thrown into active service when there is a high readiness alert sent out, like when Syria had the little Sarin ammunition scare... Honestly, i just beleive its the months of not working with these guys already that is getting to me, i mean, my girlfriend and family are all fantastic consolation, but ive been through life and death with these guys, so not seeing them, and knowing i cant help them if they are in fact overseas at this moment is eating from the inside out...

About the cats, i dont know what it is about me, but they just seem to hate me. Every cat i have come into contact with has either hissed, scratched or bitten me. I would consider a dog, but since im leaving for 6 months this February, i cant stay the course and be devoted to him/her, which would not be fair to the animal.

Boo: The best place to start is with people who really do understand you and are not pretending, and that place is here. Stick around, learn, talk ad have a laugh or two with us. Were all here to help heal one another.

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It's just sad. I view life like going down the highway. You can't go down the highway if your car's not running right.

It's like trying to measure something with a warped, half-melted plastic protractor.

[the angle might be 72 degrees no matter what but your frame of reference is all f'ed up]

Not only are your normal perceptions fucked up, but your perception of the problem is skewed and fucked up.

Everything we perceive requires the brain, but this is where the damage is.

Know that this brain damage has even altered your perception of what you are reading right now.

Add being alone and depressed, and it's like trying to heal a wound with a sharp knife.

Nobody there to prop your melted soul on.

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Well I never feel like I am disconnected from the things that I do. When I am working I am always able to direct 100% of myself towards what I am doing without fail. I do, however, sometimes drift off when I am talking to people and it is not because of general disinterest in what the person has to say. I never really drifted out of conversations until I got HPPD but I never really even thought that it would or could have been caused by it. I never even considered having DP/DR until now. I doubt I have it though If I had DP/DR there would be no way I could maintain the career I have now at a professional level. I just quit drinking 4 days ago. hopefully this brings about some positive changes in my brain.

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