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Feeling Hopeless


WuWei

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Just thought I'd drop a line here with you guys.

I recently went through hell with a (non-voluntary) switch to a generic form of Lexapro. By the time I realized the generic was the culprit I was really screwed. I'm back on the "name brand" now and feeling less crazy, but I'm still in really bad shape mentally. I can't handle things without having extreme anxiety and depression.

Today was particularly bad... I had my yearly evaluation at work and was placed on remediation for my job performance. Now I have to have that lingering over my head for the next 3 months. The scary thing is I've been at the job for 10 years now and I don't think I'll be able to start something new if it comes to that. My memory and cognitive process is really fucked up.

I'm feeling really scared and my symptoms are really intense right now. I feel all alone in a hostile universe. I feel like I'm falling into a dark place where no one will be able to help me...

Sorry to be such a downer, but I feel like I need to get that off of my chest. I have an appointment with my psychologist in a couple of days, but I'm in a really bad place right now. Any advice, commiseration or encouragement would be greatly appreciated :).

Thanks...

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Been there & feel this way every now and then. II can surely sympathize. Start running- long distances until you're just too tired to care about anything when you're done. Or, pick up an instrument and become completely absorbed in it. I've relied heavily on these two things to get through the rough patches. Don't worry though with time things will mellow out

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Yeah I know how you feel pal I been there a time or two I got loads of shit going on I feel like my lifes on hold I can't do anything I used to due to a problem with my stomach and I'm waiting for an op that with the hppd really sucks I had some real low tomes in the last couple of months like deep dark fucked upthoughts I read a book funnily enough about changing thought patterns turning negative into positive thoughts and I been in better spirits I still have times where I feel despondent but the power of the mind in healing and doing well in life is paramount I would say try and think positively things could always be worse spend time with friends and family stay strong and try to truly believe there's light at the end of the tunnel you turn the negative thoughts into positive ones and try and do everything that's good for you good eating exercise that in itself will help read supplement up just do everything you can and you'll feel better hopefully anyway dude all the best

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Sammywalker--i'm not sure i have anywhere near the problem you have with your stomach but i have issues too where i feel like i have a bad ulcer.....not fun

WuWei--I talk to you last night. I am also on Lexapro. And I am not a huge fan of the generic as well. In fact I'm gonna see if i can switch back. But the drug companies are f'kin scoundrels: treacherous. It must cost them 2 cents to make a pill and they are gonna get us for $100-200 for a months worth [and that's on f'k'n homeopathic f'k'n doses] with the pharmacists, and the pharmacists sometimes don't store the drugs correctly, only buy the cheapest generic sht to drive a profit: i wouldn't be surprised if some of the drugs went thru a Russian spam-king's Canadian online wholesale drug depot and contains trace elements of arsenic and lead.

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Sammy... I had a lot of reflux issues I was working out all the time and when it hit I stopped everything. I think it sent me into a depression. I couldn't eat couldn't work out and the PPI meds really screwed me up. It's been almost a year from the start and I'm much better but I gave up a lot of stuff. No caffeine and food restrictions. It's best to go on a liquid diet for awhile and slowly bring other foods in. I drink protein shakes the shakeology from p90x has a probiotic in it which is nice.

When you had your scope how were you sedated? Do you take a PPI? Bikram yoga helped me a lot it's a great destresser and you sweat everything out. Are you thinking of a tiff to fix hernia? There are exercises you can do to help bring down the hernia.

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Hey Emily well I did look into these exercises but wernt sure if they would really work as there was no medical evidence to suggest it also spoke to the doctor about it he kinda disregarded it as for ppis I was taking them but they made no difference to my condition my reflux has be constant no matter what I eat drink or if I go without any food or drink some days are better than others in which I feel no effects really but the majority of the time I feel pretty crappy this has been going on for about 4 months now I just want to get the op as soon as possible to start recovery however the op does scare me as it stops you ability to be sick and stops you being able to burp even for a while but it hasn't resovled one bit over the last few months it sucks

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Yeah I was really sick with it for a year I lost 20pds and gave up teaching spin class. The test showed no hernia for me but it was constant as well. I lost my voice for awhile and got so dizzy from not eating. I was thinking about having the procedure to. You know there are 2 diff procedure the one where they wrap part of your stomach around to tighten or a tiff where they just go in and tag it down. Which one are you thinking about? My friend had the stomach wrap said it saved him. I think the tiff is suppose to be good for hernia's. my friend has only had one problem with his and that was one time food just sat at the opining would not go down he went to the hospital and they removed it. He was not chocking he could just feel it sitting there. I got so depressed when I was going thr it. I think it was a combo of not eating not being able to exercise and not being able to take any meds. Ppi's are pretty bad they have neurological side effects and for some reason I got them bad. I thought it might be because my hppd but if you have had none it's prob. Just me. There are some really good medical chat boards that you can get a lot of good info from. I wouldn't skip to many meals you could get really sick. I know it's a hernia so it's diff then trying to just keep your ph in check but I would still get a blender and go vegan for awhile there are charts on what foods are acidic and which ones are alkaline and if you blend all your food it's less work for your digestive system. I would follow the alkaline to a t. Also probiotics and ginger chews helped me a lot. Whatever you do stay as positive as you can. This will pass and you will be fine. You might have to go thr a little hell first but you will make it. It's life and having hppd and going the anything else sucks. Check out the sites where people have had the surgery it will help you get ready. I don't think it's as bad as what your going thr now. I wish you the best of luck and if I can help in anyway just let me know.

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Thanky Emily I have checked out a few of these sites and I'd be going for the stomach wrap one but it does freak me out the thought of having the op due to the side effects I have read not being able to be sick or pass wind and what you said your friend got sounds horrible I have read that is a rare side effect and yeah I've tried everything from ginger to charcoal to provoking drinks even a glass of water can set me off some days it's ok other bot so good it's just annoying the wwaiting I have to go through with the nhs they've been hopeless definitely want to invest in some private healthcare in the future I wanna get this sorted then get refered to a neuro or psychiatrist and get some meds to help with the hppd but ATM I just wanna concentrate on one health problem at a time

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Yeah I understand completely I felt awful when I was going thr it my anxiety maxed out it was crazy. People don't understand they say its acid reflux get over it but your digestive system and the ability to eat is everything. I was like you for awhile it felt like I was slowly being choked I had what they call lpr where it effects your vocal cords causing a chocking feeling and loss of voice I thought I was dying I also had a hard time drinking even water at times. When I had my scope they left a 24 hour ph test that should I was having pretty much constant reflux. I just had to wait it out which for people with hppd what's new about waiting. i slowly started getting better i would have a good half day then a good day then a few good days now I may have a good two weeks before any issues show up.I'm defiantly better. If it helps my friend said his wrap saved him and only had that one problem which he said was not that bad and due to eating hard food to soon. I think the tiff is not as major of a surgery but results are not as good. My gi said that with either you might have to do it again because they loosen up. I think as long as you have a great dr. you will be fine. Make sure to ask how many of the procedures they have performed a year. Be picky if you can dr. Shop that will be key to the success of your surgery. Also ask about the anesthesiologist pick the one you want I'd go for whoever is the head of the practice. If you do these two things I wouldn't worry about the other you will be on a liquid diet for I think 6 weeks so it will be easy for food to digest properly. I can ask my friend any questions if you have more concerns. Any idea when you will have it or are you on a waiting list? After the surgery I herd there is a great place in England where they are working on dp/dr they have a whole clinic dedicated to it. Have you herd about it? I don't know if you have these issues with the hppd but if you do might be worth checking out. I'm sure they have some hppders.

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Well the surgeon who will be doing the operation is a very well respected and skilled surgeon the anethesitist haven't even got that far yet lol and yeah I have heard of the clinic it's in London which isn't too far from me but I don't really suffer with dr or dp anymore I may get the odd bit of dr but think I get that with the anxiety and light sensitivity my main issues are the sensitivity and visual snow if I got rid of them I'd be so happy

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