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Hi everyone! I am Indigochild811 I made a couple videos a few years back about HPPD. Ask me anything!


Indigochild811
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Hi so I don't even know where to start.

I don't know how many of you here know me, or if you've seen any of my videos, but I got HPPD about 6 years ago now (wow time flies) when I was 16. I posted some videos awhile back to try and help people and to document what helped me through dealing with HPPD and how I got it.

I get messages still almost every day from people trying to ask me for advice and it can be overwhelming at times but I try my best to help. I thought it would be cool if I came here and answered some questions for anyone that wanted some help and is struggling with this. I know how hard it can be.

Here is one of the first videos I posted if you haven't seen it already

I use to come on this forum quite a bit, it didn't look anything like this and the community was much much smaller, the website is looking great but it sucks to see so many people suffering from this.

I will say right now that it does get better, and you can definitely beat this!

So ask away! I will try my best to answer every question, its kind of late right now so I may go to bed within the next few hours, I'll be back though!

I added a picture just to prove its me, cause ya know, the internet.

post-2608-0-77168600-1350531244_thumb.jpg

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No no, it´s not dead, it just takes a bit untill youll get a answer, its always like this :D........Ive got a question......What would happen, if you have HPPD by LSD, you know it changes the 5HTA2 receptor, and then get another HPPD by a 5HTA2-affecting Drug??..:Would the old HPPD like be "overwritten" or is it not possible to have 2 HPPD´s at the same time??......I´m asking this because i try Drugs to see how they affect HPPD, and i didn´t touched any 5HTA2-affecting Drugs except 2-CB (i think it affects it)...and nothing gave me a trip like that 2-CB , defenately a higher feedback then anormal human without HPPD would have...

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it's like asking whether whiskey will affect your kidney disease, even though you only drank vodka before.

2-CB, MDMA etc are just gonna make your hppd worse, regardless of which drug you took to get hppd.

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It would be like beating up your little step-brother, two days in a row, back-to-back.

It's certainly not coddling him.

In the end it depends on how the drug effects the 5ht2a receptor.

I mean i think if you take an antipsychotic, and then drop some LSD a couple hours later, I think it will block the effect of the LSD [...I'm pretty sure LSD won't compete with most APs].

Basically, if you take 10 tabs of LSD one week and 10 tabs of 2cb the next, you will go f'k'n bonkers for sure.

I think you start having this somewhat-cascading effect where it starts influencing other neurotransmitter systems and other parts of the brain.

It's almost like leaving the TV on in a thunderstorm: if you get zapped it might fry it up. Hopefully not though.

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That's really weird. I watched your videos like a year ago, there aren't many vids on youtube about HPPD. But, I'm in the library right now and can't watch your vid but I was wondering what drugs you got HPPD from and if you ever had any Depersonalization along with it???

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Hey everyone Sorry for the delay, I went to bed, then I went to work and now I'm home so I'll answer some of the questions I got!

No no, it´s not dead, it just takes a bit untill youll get a answer, its always like this :D........Ive got a question......What would happen, if you have HPPD by LSD, you know it changes the 5HTA2 receptor, and then get another HPPD by a 5HTA2-affecting Drug??..:Would the old HPPD like be "overwritten" or is it not possible to have 2 HPPD´s at the same time??......I´m asking this because i try Drugs to see how they affect HPPD, and i didn´t touched any 5HTA2-affecting Drugs except 2-CB (i think it affects it)...and nothing gave me a trip like that 2-CB , defenately a higher feedback then anormal human without HPPD would have...

I have no idea the technicals or why these drugs cause what they do. I've never heard of this 5HTA2 receptor. I do know though that doing more drugs is only going to make your HPPD worse. I stopped everything, except for nictoine and alcohol. I don't even smoke pot, its been 5 years now since I have, and its hard and yes sometimes you get tempted too but its really not worth it. It won't help you to recover.

But hey man, if you want to continue thats your prerogative. I just don't like to chance fate and fiddle with my mind after something as traumatic as HPPD.

Hey dude yeah I watched your videos when I first got hppd funnily enough how is your hppd now what things have you done that have helped ?

Well, its been about 6 years since I got full blown HPPD and things are definitely way better. My HPPD is pretty non existant unless I focus on it, like when I look at patterns they still kind of move and morph but not nearly as bad as they once did, its not even noticeable really.

I still have visual snow and depersonalization/ derealization but to tell the truth I've gotten so use to them now that it doesn't effect. Its become my reality. Acceptance is key! After any psychoactive drug you're going to look at the world a bit different, HPPD causes a big difference really quickly and obviously there is going to be anxiety with that. My mind and body have accepted this new reality and its not all too bad. It was though the first few months to a year - I could barely leave my house.

I do still have residual anxiety though, my prior drug use has caused an anxiety disorder I guess and I can't deal with stress as well as I use too, but i manage.

I acutally saw one of your videos the other day! How serendipitous.

I don't know what that means! haha but I hope you dug em! I'm going to make a new one sometime next week I think, its been too long.

That's really weird. I watched your videos like a year ago, there aren't many vids on youtube about HPPD. But, I'm in the library right now and can't watch your vid but I was wondering what drugs you got HPPD from and if you ever had any Depersonalization along with it???

Yeah its a shame there isn't more awareness on the disorder, I think it would really help antidrug campaigns. A lot of people don't want their face attached to drug use I guess, and I was a teenager when I made them so I wasn't really thinking about the future too much? haha. Its cool though, I'm going to keep them up as long as the internet exists. I want to get into film and television, not really looking for a corporate desk job so I'm not too concerned about my image on the internet.

I did a lot of drugs in my youth haha, but the ones I think that contributed to my HPPD were a combination of 2CI, 2CE, and a lot of Ecstasy that I was doing at the time that was cut with who knows what, made probably in some dudes bathtub, yuck. I would get flashbacks here and then but smoking pot triggered it full blown for me and I got big flashback and a panic attack that never really went away ya know? I did get depersonalization and derealization and I do still have these but they don't cause me nearly as much anxiety because its just the way my perception is now. You just gotta accept it. Easier said then done I know, but with time ya will!

I've watched your videos many times, they're really inspiring and i like the songs. I wonder how your depersonalization has developed over time. Erik, Sweden.

Thanks for the kind words man! I'm always writing songs, I was in a bit of a writers block for awhile and I only do it for personal therapy now a days. Don't play for too many people. Nothing better then writing a song about exactly how you feel in the moment, helps you get everything out.

it was a slow process, I remember everything seemed foreign at first, not real, even myself didn't feel real. After time though I began to realize these sensations can't hurt me and I grew to accept everything. I now hardly think about it. You gotta realize everything is going to look different from now on, the way you saw the world has forever changed, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I see a new beauty in things that I didn't see before.

Yea, I've seen the vid too before. I actually glad you made it. Like Gmo said: There are 2 vids only on HPPD. Cool bro.

Like I said before I really wish there were more videos about HPPD. I know its hard for people to post their face on the internet describing their stories and what not, but I think we need more people out there spreading the word. I understand how hard it can be the first few months getting this but it does get A LOT better and people need to realize this. The key to getting better is to stop all drugs and just ride it out, accept what has happened and feel lucky you didn't end up with an addiction that'll ruin your life and possibly end it.

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My hppd is pretty mild now compared to what is was like a year ago I been completely sober now for about 6-8 months which is helping I do miss the smoking weed though I did it whilst I had hppd and it only made it worse while it was in my system then hppd returned to normal but decided to come off until the visuals completely reside I'm stuck with the damn visual snow and light sensitivity after images little bit of derealization I want to try some of the drugs recommended on this site maybe they will be the key

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I believe your video's were the first ones i watched as well lol Completely agree with the whole acceptance thing, it's what has helped me deal with hppd the most not meds or dr's, accepting that this is how i perceive things now and that this may never go away and by living the healthiest life i can has helped me progress in my "Recovery" if you can call it that, perhaps it would be better to say accepting a new way of life.

I personally take Hppd as a positive and a negative, while it is a terrible drag on my life with all the visuals and strange sensations, if not for this disorder i would have never quit drugs and alcohol and put it upon myself to live a healthier lifestyle which i now love

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