mikethemerc1 Posted August 31, 2012 Report Share Posted August 31, 2012 So I'm new here but not to HPPD. Mine started after taking Ayahuasca, didn't get high it was mixed wrong yet still got HPPD DR/DP. I got better after about 8 months of pure hell and now I've relapsed due to secondhand pot smoke somehow. I was fine for the last 2 years and need reassurance that I'm not the only one who relapsed and that if I got better once I will again. I've seen Dr. Abraham who tested the Ayahuasca to see if it was indeed it and it was. (BTW he's kind of a dick I don't know if anyone else thought this, especially because he won't even confirm if it's possible to relapse like this because he won't answer my calls since he's retiring.) My relapse is going on it's 7th week, it's stabilized, if there is such a thing. I'm 21 from Boston, MA, had a stint in the Marines, and am planning to start a security/military company regardless of how long this relapse haunts me. In school now and yeah that's it. Just so you guys know it's possible to get better completely, I was but I never thought about how to deal with a relapse. I'm curious about how you guys have dealt with it and if this is all in my head, PTSD from the first time, you know. The DP/DR is bad the visuals aren't as bad except for the static. Reply with question etc. and if you're from Boston, maybe we can get a support program going, there's alot of HPPDers around here and I have some connections. I'll gladly hand out my number if you want to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cs1234 Posted August 31, 2012 Report Share Posted August 31, 2012 Sorry to hear that could you go into more detail about what you think made you relapse though? did you actually get a contact buzz or did you just smell the smoke? What's your history with weed? how long was the lag between contact with smoke and the relapse? You'll probably recover though if you did before! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgrade Posted August 31, 2012 Report Share Posted August 31, 2012 i like you already buddy.........Hope you start feeling better soon..........Get in touch if you need any help or whatever.......Peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikethemerc1 Posted September 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2012 Well cs1234, I can't tell you if I just smelled it or got a buzz, I definitely was uncomfortable but didn't notice a high. I went home, hung out with my mother and her boyfriend and was fine. Then I went to bed and woke up in the middle of the night and everything around the room was strange, micromapsia and macromapsia, plus fear, just like the first time. It came on in the middle of the night the first time right after taking Ayahuasca. I've smoked pot under 10 times in my life and only had a benzo addiction because of HPPD the first time. Anyway thanks mgrade I see you have been responding to my posts and I appreciate it bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VisualDude Posted September 12, 2012 Report Share Posted September 12, 2012 I've seen Dr. Abraham who tested the Ayahuasca to see if it was indeed it and it was Cool ... did he send it to a lab? What did the lab say? Or did he just take a hit It is clear reading accounts of the forum that people relaps ... sometimes with very little reason known. Is Klonopin the only thing you have tried? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikethemerc1 Posted September 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 Yeah klono and Ativan and each time it just sends the dp dr to a new level when I stop. As for the relapse it's fading and pot was def the trigger, I'm confident that if I made a full recovery from ayahuasca that pot smoke wouldn't do me in permanantly. I was considering sine met as I have all the symptoms of low dopamine ie restless legs tremors dp and the like and they are always non existent in the mornings afternoon. It when night comes its like I got hit with a bat, dopamines always lowest a t night so maybe it is related Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgrade Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 You seem to be in the early stages of your recovery. If you really need to take some thing (like a benzo), take like a very small chip of Ativan <1/16 to 1/2 mg> (forget that devil-drug klonopin: takes 5 days 'til its effect is totally gone). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikethemerc1 Posted September 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Well I think I'm in the later stages I go most of day fine now my only choke point is when the sun goes down and my eyes have to readjust as for the benzos I think that if I didn't get hooked and have to withdraw cold turkey the first time would've passed as quick as this wouldn't have lasted 8 months the first time. I'm a out 2 months into this now and have noticeable recovery. Maybe my body found a way to sort it out the first time and remembers how to do it quicker. Who the hell knows anything anyway we all seem to have variations in time and symptoms all I know is I'm not complaining with my improvements lately I'm just gonna ride the rest out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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