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I dont understand it...


2muchmandy
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why symptoms develop over time. for eg.

week 1

extreme paranoia - very very sparkly thick snow with colours and patterns

mad CEVs horrid dreams, DRDP,

week 2

patterns in dark places only, less sparkles. anxiety way better hardly any drdp

week 4

no patterns, ver minimal snow, no anxiety hardly any CEVs

then a panic attack happened....

symptoms got bad then better but i got a few new ones, tinnitus was very bad, still is. text began to move and warp, still does

skip ahead 3 more months....

then just last week iv got trails. iv been 100% sober, iv cut out sugar, too much salt, no coffee no fizzy drinks no drugs atal no alcohol.

why is it symptoms seem to progress like this? u think ur healing and then something new happens. worry and general anxiety are low, healthy living, reasonably happy. is there something around me polluting me causing this, or is it natural for hppd to take a long time to set in??. this is where the anxiety comes from, the mystery and not knowing, will i end up like ferret - almost back to normal or like jay tripping his cunt off for 4 years which i couldnt handle. i find it ridiculous iv been so sober that im still getting new symptoms, surely if my brain was poisoned its got the toxins out now and is fixing itself?

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I don't understand why some symptoms get worse while others improve either but I think the fact that yours are still changing is probably a better sign than if they were remaining steady because it means that your brain is still trying to fix itself. Maybe its just part of the process. Mine went up and down quite a bit before me reaching where I am now.

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i mean the snows almost gone. the anxiety is controllable, no drdp. no more brain pain or zaps. i hope ur right. trails dont worry me, theyr kinda annoying and a bit of a morale blow but, i can live with em

my theology stands, if i can still drive...i can live. without a car where i live...im nothing besides iv spent so long working on my car if i have to sell it il go fucking mad

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I dont think about hppd and im busy all day. Randomly shit just pops up like trails Like if u were 100% sober for 4 months yet continued getting symptoms ud be a bit confusd aswell. And yes its a 1989 316 with a 320 motor in it. Its going to germany in september, im in love with the nurburgring

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why is it symptoms seem to progress like this? ... it natural for hppd to take a long time to set in? ... i find it ridiculous iv been so sober that im still getting new symptoms

From what I've seen, it is typical for symptoms to progress for a while. Sometimes even its start is delay a long time. This delay is common in other situations. For Parkinsonism (PD from toxic exposure) several weeks are usually involved. Strokes can take weeks to level off.

I don't think you are hyperfocused ... just wading through this crap. And all of us what reward for our efforts. Your changed lifestyle will payoff. It just takes a lot of time to level out.

Until they dissect a few hundred of our brains, we won't know the specific biological mechanisms involved - and there are probably several.

surely if my brain was poisoned its got the toxins out now and is fixing itself?

The role of toxins hanging around is unknown. And many (such as petroleum products) are lipid soluble (soak up in fat and stay around). Synaptic changes seem to be involved.

For the most part, stress (drugs and otherwise) pushed circuits beyond their 'safe operating zone' so changes are lingering. This type of toxin is more an autotoxicity at the time - too many intermediate metabolites which 'burn' things (oxidize) on the molecular level. These altered molecules (proteins, etc) are difficult for the body to resolve.

is there something around me polluting me causing this?

It is always good to review your environment, just as you have implemented 'healthy living'. Do you live rural? If there isn't a factory around, then usually the only thing to watch for is pesticides (which are neurotoxic by design). If it is city, then factories and air quality can be an issue. It is one thing to live above the fish monger ... it is another to live above an autobody paint shop. Both stink but only one is dangerous.

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Thanks visual, things have leveled out again, snow = almost gone, trails settled a bit. they just spike and it scared me

I live very very VERY rural. the local town is 15 miles drive. Funny you should mention the auto body shop. My ambition was to become a car painter ( im good at spray painting ) guess thats out the window now :/

As for toxins stored in fat ETC. Because i cant eat alot of shit and live on beer iv lost about a stone in weight, maybe me losing the weight has caused spikes as the toxins are burned off?

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Because i cant eat alot of shit

What foods bother you? And how? What foods agree best with you?

live on beer iv lost about a stone in weight, maybe me losing the weight has caused spikes as the toxins are burned off?

Losing weight will burn fat and release whatever else was stored in it. However, the beer is more likely a problem. Over the years I've noticed on forums for brain injury, parkinsons, depression, etc., that alcohol must be limited.

In looking up COMT polymorphism symptoms there are connections between alcohol and symptoms, mostly withdrawal severity. For example, see

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1080/13556210120056562/abstract

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Na I dont drink man. Since getting hppd iv not drank alcohol coffee or sugar. No fizzy drinks either. Befoee hppd I used to eat alot of junk and drink alot of beer. Since iv not done that iv lost weight, maybe why symptoms spiked. I also heard thc sticks to fat and cells so I guess that might have been released aswell. Food bothers me because I have ocd and anxiety worrying if I eat certain things itl make me trip. Eating causes alot of displeasure to me but obviously I have to.do.it

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