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Showing results for tags 'h.p.p.d?'.
Hi all, firstly my upmost respect and best wishes to all who are struggling with H.p.p.d or anything symtomatically Simular, please please lets keep fighting for the necessary information we need and to spread awareness of this not only for eachother but also for the family/loved ones of a person who is affected by this as no doubt they can become a secondary casualty of sorts. My story of ongoing hell started 2 months ago and counting, I'm a 30 year old male, a Typical health nerd, gym type guy, in a full time electrician career with a part time military career on the side, this alongside being a dad to a 9 year old...who is my absolute word. Regardless of the amazing things I have built up and achieved for myself I have always been hard on myself in thinking I could be better...as most of us do, recently I'd come across this resergeance of phycadellics, with it seemingly promoting so many reported benifts to cognition and general life that I got sucked in and ultimately began cherry picking positive sounding research to the point where I put myself in a state of denial over the real risks that I was reading being touted as extreamly low. Even as a guy who never smoked drinked, had ever touched a drug and was always weary about them this false belief got me to a stage where I grew some Shrooms from a kit, this being as I thought it would be the safest way to take it, all be it I was not sure how well they turned out and I suspect some contamination occured within part of the grow, regardless of this I nibbled the top off of a fresh mushroom (about the size of a shirt button) and within 30 minutes what started never really left, my vision had changed, I felt slower and depersonalisation and derelisation set in, after a crap night sleep I was shocked to find this didn't subside, from there on I've have not slept propely where I am constantly in a dream all night in but in such a shallow way it feels like I have barely had any sleep, this I believe is due to not now being able to properly transition into the deeper states of restoritive sleep, this has been a real kicker for me, as it's comunalitive effects saw me pass out from exhaustion and end up in a mental hospital, where the only response there was to try and dose me with typical sleep aids and s.s.r.i meds. Doctors and all alike are baffled with what do as many of you may know, this seems to be so misunderstood and so getting some form of diagnosis is hard. But really my biggest pain is the effect it has already had and the ongoing effect it will have on my loved ones and what I have built in life, I have been so distant, numb and outright scared shitless, it's effects are so consuming, that it has turned me upside down. I am trying my best to come up with answers and to stay strong, any usefull info and tips I find that help I will be sure to share around. I am so greatfull for this website as a platform and place for trying to help eachother and bringing light to what is a horrible thing to go through. Stay strong James