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  1. One of the most upsetting things about HPPD for me is how difficult I find it to enjoy music. The combination of anhedonia and fucked up memory make it incredibly tough to have a good time of listening to music. It just doesn't prompt the same intense emotional response it used to... it's just kind of there, and I can't think about it properly, can't remember the song that came before, can't properly juxtapose it with other music or the artist's other works, etc. It used to be one of my biggest hobbies; I'd have something playing whenever I was able to, was always looking for new stuff, etc. Now I rarely do because it's the most painful reminder of how much I've changed. Artists I love are releasing new stuff and I don't even wanna go anywhere near it
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