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hello my name is martin 32 years old i tuk some lsd 24 oktober, and now i can t feel my emotions Does anyone know the symptoms?

hey guys, im new here, so i have been suffering from this thing for about 2 months now, but i actually don't know what it is ? whether DP/DR ? or HPPD ? or something else. i got all this from smoking weed, out of a printing paper (A4). havent touched LSD, MDMA etc ever. ohh!, and i never had that 'i am going to die feeling, when i was high'. and i believe i have a bit of social anxiety. i'm a 22 year old male, with no history of mental illnesses. here is what i have:- visual snow (mostly in darkness and dim lights) very sensitive to all kinds of light. (even sunlight) very intense migrainous headaches at the base of skull slight halos around streetlights, and starbursts from distant lights. only negative afterimages faint ringing in ears, ear pain and popping in the right ear from time to time some sounds feel amplified floaters in white backgrounds changed visual perception the vision where u feel ur still high, or stoned. (is this derealization ?) anxiety (along with the 1001 symptoms that come with it) a strange thing which occurs to me is that, i see streaking/starbursting on lights which are far away, but if the same light source comes close, the streaking goes away! here is what i don't have:- trails/tracers blue field entoptic phenomena colour confusion movement in objects and walls geometric patterns size distortions i saw, both eye doctors and neurologists, got an MRI scan, and everything seems to be normal, according to the doctors! i've yet to see a mental doctor. i got prescribed klonopin, took it a few times, for me it doesn't do much, other than making me sleepy. sorry for making such a long post. any help is greatly appreciated. thanks

Hey HPPD world, I see a lot of inspirational and interesting perspectives on this strange and mysterious curveball that life has thrown us all. and that curveball is of course HPPD. and i would like to share with you all the single most important thing that i have discovered since becoming a member of the 'club' so to speak. HPPD has IMPROVED my life... allow me to explain. i developed hppd in my senior year in high school 2008 in honolulu,hawaii i was an average student b's and c's. i was on the golf, and canoe paddling team. i surfed and fished a lot, and once a month i would go on what me and my friends called a 'vision quest' we would take acid and go body surfing and downhill skating throughout the island. we had been doing these vision quests since we were 14 and never once had an issue. i wont go into detail but needless to say i got a little adventurous on one occasion, i doubled my usual dose and i had a rather unpleasant experience that landed me in the hospital. now before this incident occurred i was pretty damn content with my mediocre life. i was going to become a golf instructor and live out my days in mediocrity..... the first year of hppd was the worst. i kept it totally to myself, i didnt research it because i thought i might find out that i had become schizophrenic. i thought to myself 'any day now and ill start hearing voices' 'ill start hallucinating' i was buying xanax off the internet from mexico and had become a recluse and completely addicted to sedatives. it wasnt til after an especially difficult week in witch i was suffering 4 or 5 major league panic attacks a day that i decided to fix this broken state of mind that i had surrendered to. i found a psychiatrist in waikiki who specialized in anxiety, it was here that i learned that i was suffering from what he called 'hallucinogen induced anxiety' he told me the best way to deal with it was to be as structured, organized, and goal oriented as i possibly could be. so i wrote down a list of goals, i wrote down a daily schedule that i vowed to follow, and i became the neatest neat freak i know. it wasnt easy but i started seeing results immediately, it seemed that the harder i worked the better i felt. the more disciplined i became the less 'weird' i felt. i started lifting weights and the more sculpted my muscles became, the saner i felt. i started sleeping no less that 8 to 9 hours a night going to bed and waking up at the same time every single day. i cut out unhealthy unatural foods from my diet. etc. i was seeing results but i didnt feel cured so to speak. i noticed that i felt at my most vulnerable during idle periods of my day. moments where i had nothing to do. so at this realization i decided to COMPLETLEY fill my schedule. i became a productivity and time managment guru, i took up Brazilian jiu jitsu, i started going to college part time then eventually full time, i took extra shifts, i took up playing pool. i surfed more, i hiked more. i entered into amateur bodybuilding competitions. spearfishing tournaments. 5ks, 10ks. i became obsessed with getting good grades. anything i wanted to do i just committed my self to doing it, and i just DID IT!!! the point is...the more i accomplished the better i felt, i became addicted to succeeding at things. and today i have 2 more semesters of school in wich i am majoring in bio-chemistry i have begun the application process for medical school, i did well on my mcats and i will most likely be attending an off shore osteopathic medical school in the Caribbean. i know for sure 100% that if not for HPPD i would be smoking weed all day, eating fried foods and teaching old ladys and 12 year old boys how to hit a 3 wood from the fairway. so if you don't like how you feel, if your current state of consciousness feels 'icky' and strange, i promise you that deep within yourself lies the key to peace of mind. and for me it was becoming the hero of my own movie.

I've had hppd for a year now and it has completely ruined my life, I'm always either paranoid/depressed and about 5 months after getting hppd I got social anxiety. I have bad visual snow and everything in my vision looks weirdly outlined?! Nobody believes me and my whole life basically feels like a trip? I haven't done any acid but I still smoke weed everyday but it's basically the only thing that keeps me sane lol I have no idea what to do with myself and half of the time I'm thinking whether my life is worth living anymore, anybody else get any of the same shit happen? How long have you guys had it and do you know anyone that's actually fully recovered from this or are we all fucked?

Hi everyone, first time poster I have had severe HPPD and DP/DR for 3 years now, I am seeing a new psychiatrist who wishes to to try an older class of Antidepressant, specifically the TCA clomipramine. The SSRI lexapro was also something she was willing to consider. I have tried Keppra, clonazepam, sinemet and xanax. The only drug that worked was xanax but it made my visuals 10 times worse after I went through withdrawl. I am extremely sensitive to these medications and I was really hoping someone could give some insight on the aforementioned TCA's and SSRI'S. Out of my visual symptoms I have visual snow and incredibly severe palinopsia to the point that peoples faces after I look at them will have a very detailed after image when I look away. This goes for anything I look at. It all started from a bad trip 3 years ago, it was not my first trip, and I had taken dmt and mushrooms in the months leading up to it. No doctor in Australia will prescribe someone long term benzos (they are all very benzophobic down here) so this is my last chance with medication, I just dont want to make it any worse, if that happens I wont find any reason to live. cheers J

Hi, My name is Deborah, I'm 32, and from The Netherlands. (feels like AA typing this ) I was a recreational drug user for quite a few years MDMA and Speed, and noticed the MDMA drug effects were getting less and less pleasant over the last year or so. I had quite some traumatic experiences on MDMA, like my gf passing out and thinking she was gonna die, or her going into a major k-hole I thought she was never gonna come out of. A week later I took some speed, stayed up 3 nights and got to a point where I was almost passing out all day and had heart palpitations (and a doctor telling me I was just having anxiety issues). I felt fine again after some good night's sleep. A week later I had another speed binge, I stayed up 3 days and on the 3rd day the same thing happened.. althoug this time it stayed. Accompanied with a whole array of new symptoms: persistent anxiety, not being able to sleep, agitated, not being able to eat, buzzing in my head, almost like electric shocks, head aches, tinitus, ear aches, lack of balance, dr and dp to the max! Emotionless except for crying and the feeling of hopelesness. I sleep only 4 hours of scattered sleep a night and this is on sleeping pills. My body just doesn't seem to want to relax in any way shape or form. I forget stuff all the time, however I don't have any visual stuff, I have a foggy mind, like there's a cloud in my head which gets sp bad I forget what I'm doing and all stimuli makes it worse, this goes hand in hand with the sensation of not being balanced, although when I go to a doctor I can walk in a straight line. Sound and moving images make my head go even foggier, and I completely lose my shit when not on Clonazepam. With Clonazepam the fog and imbalance/buzzing feeling in my head kinda go away for a while and I feel semi-normal. They did a standard mri and an EEG (although I was on lorazepam at the time, and wasn't experiencing much of the fog) and they seemed fine. Since I don't have a clue what the hell is going on with me I went to the doctor's office quite a number of times, and they have now labeled me as a hypochondriac. A crisis shrink put me on anti-psychotics, which made EVERYTHING worse. Another shrink says it's an anxiety disorder. With the SSRI's I get so extremely agitated and I go through the roof, so I am scared of taking those again. Another doctor is convinced it's HPPD... The only thing I know is that the clonazepam kinda works until it wears off.. Can anyone tell me if this could be HPPD? Or did I mess something up with my neurotransmittersystems? My neurologist thinks it's psychological, and doesn't want to send me to a neuropsychologist, and my GP doesn't want to send me anywhere anymore since he thinks it's hypochondria. I could really use some help.. Love, Debs

I'm going to tell a short version of my story and which symptoms I have experienced. But to begin with I have to say that my english maby isn't so good. I hope that someone have the time to read this because I really need to get help. I smoked some kind of spice (synthetic weed) 7 months ago. I had a bad trip that was horrible but after a couple of hours I went back to normal again. But then, 3 weeks later, I suddenly got a "flashback". It felt excactly like I was in the bad trip again and I got panic. But I went back to normal even after that. But then, when I woke up the next morning I had visual snow. I thought it was just some kind of hangover from the flashbacks first, but it went days and the visual snow did not disappear. Everything started to feel unreal, It felt like I was in a dream. That was the derealization. I also felt like I was losing myself, my memory was very bad and I felt a scary distance to my life I had before I took the drug. My feelings even felt unreal. I guess it was the depersonalization. I could not go out anymore because everytime I tried a got a panic attack because of all the symptoms. But I went to a doctor and she gave me some benzo and sent me away. But the benzo didn't help so I used Dr.Google instead and found HPPD. I felt like: This is it. This is the disorder that I have. I had at that point even started to have after images, floaters and trails. I tried to explain for the doctor what I thought, that I had HPPD. But she didn't knew what it was (I live in Sweden and it seems like not a single doctor knows what HPPD is here) Anyway, I was sent to many different doctors and they just say that everything was fine with me, they could not find some problem with me. This is a hell and if I have to live with this symptoms my hole life, No then I dont want to live. I cant do anything anymore. I cant go out, I cant even be in a light room without sunglasses. My life has falling apart and I have to get help soon. I have lived with this for 7 months and everyday is a fight for survival. So my questions to you: Is it someone out there who knows if spice can lead to HPPD? And do you believe that my symptoms is HPPD? Im completely sure of it but if someone outside could tell me what they think it had been very good. The doctors here in Sweden have nothing to say about it.

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