corytra19

dp an dr for me just kind of feels like im moving on autopilot- i have little or no control of my thoughts and emotions most of the time. the random and uncontrollable thoughts often bring about unwanted and intense emotions and vise versa. because of the visual changes that have occured in my brain, i almost convince myself that the past year and a half hasnt happened, that i'll just wake up and everything will go back to normal. i also began to start viewing myself as just another person. analyzing who i think cory is and like-able features of mine and the many character defects i have. thinking of myself as though i were thinking of a person i just met. the percept i have of myself and the external world is constantly changing, even if i am in the same location and am the same person ive been. although all of these symptoms of dp/dr are very nerve-racking and depressing, i still know them to be a normal reaction of the brain after a sense where 70% of our information comes is distorted and changed.

i tripped 3 0r 4 times a week. lets say the drugs were just prevalent in my situation. some of my symptoms are different forms of synesthesia, so my eyes and body sometimes wander to the beat of music. after i smoked synthetic cannabis for a few weeks it doubled the perceptual distortions. and then i did shrooms a couple times thinking it wouldnt make things worse. it amplified the images within images and the tracers. but now ive been sober for 6 months and im coping. still see my mo on a consistent basis and i just think its best when i dont mention anything about it. let the parents know, but dont use it as an excuse or a conversation for attention. parents dont like to constantly be reminded about how messed up drugs made u.

ive had hppd for about 8 months now and im nineteen. My lsd and mescaline abuse was rather apparent to my mom, considering the fact i was staying at a house she owned and she would come visit me almost everyday. my mom was a little skeptical as well. after i was diagnosed she couldnt grasp the idea of mildly tripping all the time without any recent drug use. its very hard because my mom gets very angry and frustrated with me about several things but i dont feel like explaining to her what dp dr is or why i cant do this or why i do this like that. us with hppd percieve the world way too different to try and describe to a "normal" person to understand. but shes my mom. she doesnt enjoy hearing about my symptoms, neither does she enjoy playing music around me, as she sees what it does to me. i know shes just sad and dissappointed that i altered my brain chemistry. of course shes a parent. id cry if my child experienced half of what i do. but life goes on. with or without hppd.