Hello, my name is Anna, I am 29.
I have HPPD for 2,5 months, my life has become hell.
Before I was dynamic, enthusiastic and funny, now I can no longer function normally, I am only a shadow of myself.
I have very little hope due to my age, I'm afraid of never recovering.
I am depressed and suicidal for the first time in my life.
My story :
I used cannabis daily for 10 years, from my 19 years to my 29 years, I stopped everything for 4 months this year, I felt so healthy and happy !
The last week of August I stupidly smoked every night while beeing on Prednisone (Corticoid) for a flu, until Monday the 28th when I woke up and nothing was like before. I did no bad trip.
I also used small doses of Mdma (7), excstazy (20), mushrooms (2), LSD (1), cocaine (5) during the years 2018/2019 and only twice LSD in 2020.
My symptoms started with a feeling of hangover that wouldn't go away but I knew there was something else, then derealization, dizziness, blurred vision and three days later I started experiencing all the symptoms of VSS. I didn't sleep for more than a month, I had to quit my job and go back to live with my parents (few days before the onset I had a promotion and find the house of my dreams).
I passed all the tests, MRI, EEG, blood tests etc. All clean.
Today I live daily with these symptoms:
Full VSS (visual snow, static, pattern glare, afterimages, blue entoptic field, floaters, night blindness etc...)
Constant dizziness
Constant nausea
Derealization
Head pressure
Tinnitus
Anxiety/Depression
Constant feeling of being high
I have read many posts and I have already talk to people from this website, but I feel so hopeless that I wanted to post my story in order to know if a severe ça se like me had good chance of recovery, if some who recovered recognize himself.
I feel so guilty, one joint too many and boom.
I'm tapering off benzo because if think it's slows down my recovery and I didn't want to take other meds for the moment. I am just taking supplements and homeopathy. I walk 1 hour per day, meditate and do yoga sometimes, read some books, watch TV and cry a lot...