Oh godd! Thank you so much for sharing that with me, i really sympathize with you. Please take all the time you need!! How about this, once i gather all my information for HPPD, i'll send you the powerpoint maybe it'll ease your mind a bit? I'll put a link to another forum i made in another website and a lot of people with HPPD responded with amazing answers!
https://www.bluelight.org/xf/threads/hppd-experiences-you-could-share.906485/
I hope it helps