I’m a 19 year old female who was laced by what I believe was lsd. I had an extremely bad trip that left me on the psych floor for 3 days. After I was released I was just fine at first, then I started to get experience extreme anxiety, depersonalization, derealization & disassociation. I was then placed on risperidone. Unfortunately at the time me nor my doctors knew that this would worsen my symptoms. A month later almost exactly, I was overwhelmed one day I just began to sob I couldn’t live like that I just wanted my old life back, I knew the risperidone wasn’t good for me so I then took a hydroxyzine to help me rest, next thing I know I’m having the scariest dream of my life which seemed incredibly real my chest was twisted like a wind up toy and bag was placed over my head like I was suffocated, two voices talked and said my birthday & name & release her back out, & “tell everyone what you saw” I then woke up in extreme panic I was reliving the night that I took the drugs almost the exact same! It felt so real to me, like it was actually happening that’s why I believe that I don’t have hppd because I could distinguish between reality and a flashback. I continued to take risperidone for a couple of days of being back in psych care but I was then switched to seroquel being that risperidone was causing me to have breast milk & positive pregnancy test which were wrong. Nothing has been the same. I feel weird looking out of my eyes, I feel weird being myself like I’ve sort of lost my identity and sense of self. Everything scares me, being outside in the dark, being in the car in the dark, driving, phone vibrations & noises, thumbs up, like literally there’s a correlation everywhere. The thought of being in a simulation crippled my faith I have trouble erasing what I saw and overriding it with my beliefs. Everyday is literally a struggle I was taking an ssri & at first it was working but I began to have close eye hallucinations & thoughts of suicide. If anyone has any suggestions feel free to lmk! I need help desperately end my psychiatrists & psychologists aren’t really helping. Pls help!