This is my first time on this forum for about 10 years.
I originally stopped coming on here as i felt it made me think about it more. I think that was the right decision. I forgot what normal was like along time ago. I've adapted and learn to live with my symptoms.. Don't get me wrong the onset was nothing short of traumatic and frightening. I give myself credit for getting through it.
I have tried abstaining from drugs sometimes a year at a time and felt it had no improvement. Drugs being very prevalent in my peers and surroundings i returned to them and for the most part didn't have a problem. Weed fucked me up very badly, back in the onset about 12+ years ago, just a few tokes would send me spiralling into a different dimension.
In the last few years i picked weed back up as a sleep aid. I've had terrible insomina for along time which has plagued my life. Couple years ago i started having half a joint as a sleep aid and worked a treat for a while but then found it increased my anxiety thus doing nothinh for my insomina. I have even had magic truffles in Amsterdam and LSD a couple a times in the last few years with no issues. Idiot i know, but like i say i never thought about my HPPD anymore and it became very mild and i obviously got cocky with it, as my last trip, i had a great time like every trip but soon after i have felt my symptoms worsen for the first time in the best part of a decade, nothing as bad as the onset but a just slight worsening of symptoms but it has made me alot more sensitve to drugs, i basically cannot take any anymore, I'm kind of glad, and I'm taking it as a signal from my body/brain, and it goes well with the new path i was already on, that being turning my life around, away from crime/drugs/negativity. I have took the positve from it that which is i can't take drugs as they effect my symptoms.
I'm telling you this as some background info and i appreciate anyone reading it... I've made alot of poor decisons in life and continuing drug use was one of them as i found stopping was not improving it and i was ok and still getting enjoyment from them, however i should of been giving myself the best chance of recovery.
Anyway in the past i told two doctors who didn't have a clue what i was talking about or ever heard of HPPD, had eye tests aswell that nothing came from and i diagnosed myself via this forum and dealt with it myself. Just like with depression, anxiety that i have suffered from and insomnia.
I've been on a waiting list to be tested for ADHD for about 2 years, as when i read the symptom list and read into traits, i tick the majority of the boxes and they resonate with me massively, however after reading the forum again i wonder if i am confusing it with brain fog or maybe there's an element of both. (the ADHD i supect i have is inattentive type, i.e no hyperactivity)
I have also read some comments about pain and eye pressure which I'm curious about? Is that a symptom people are getting?
Anyway I've thought about trying to get it diagnosed properly as now I'm thinking of it more, it's not ideal that i have diagnosed myself.
Also to see if any medication works i have recently just heard of chlonine and keppra as treatments. When i was on the site previously it was only Clonazepam, and although I've not had that particular one, i am familiar with benzodiazipines and I'm guessing it doesn't improve symptoms directly but just some relief from it through the calming and anti anxiety effect like diazepam.
I am concerend though of telling a doctor and going through the process and them stopping me driving? If anyone can shed any light on that, does it happen?
The symptom for me which is most irritating is the visual snow, like multi coloured moving speckles like you used to get on terrestrial tv but more colours. Its particularly bad in low light and blank walls. I feel like i can barely see in low light compared to a normal person. I also get closed eye visiluals and tinnitus, slight haloing etc. like i say it's been nearly 15 years so I've learned to live with it and kind of forgot what normals like. However I'm hoping that my abstinence and this new path and possible treatment would give me a chance at a reduction in visual snow and tinnitus which would greatly improve my insomnia.
I appreciate anyone reading all this and any replies i get to anything I've shared.
