GammaKnife

Have you talked to a doctor about microdosing? If you're worried about it then that can snowball into hypochondria like it did for me, so I would say the best thing is not to dwell on it but just let your doctor know about what you've experienced and that you'd like to keep microdosing if possible. Apologies if this isn't much help.

Stay strong. You might not see a solution right now, but there's always hope. Have you spoken to a nutritionist or somnologist (sleep doctor)? Sometimes changing your diet can drastically improve your quality of life. I'm not an expert, but it's important to investigate a variety of different treatments. Hang in there.

I hear you man. Benzos definitely don't seem like the way to go, but a lot of people here seem to talk about Clonazepam being effective? I really don't know what the deal is though. I've been taking ashwaganda root capsules for the last week and it's really helped to get me back into a normal headspace in terms of counteracting anxiety, help sleeping, and not being distracted by visual disturbances. Honestly it's a godsend, because I was really struggling. I do worry if the effects are placebo-based, or if it will lose its potency at some point down the road. There seems to be a lot of other herbal medicines for reducing anxiety and difficult states of mind, which has been my biggest problem for the last month – I'll do more research and see what's effective.

Yeah I think it'll hopefully be easier to manage these symptoms once lockdown and COVID are a distant memory! I do get after images quite strongly, though this is something I have had for as long as I can remember – it's probably the symptom that bothers me the least. That being said, now I sometimes get after images when I close my eyes which look like shifting forms or faces; when I'm in an anxious or panicky mood this can really set me off. The most frustrating thing for me at the moment is the ruminating and low mood. I often get into a state of mind where I obsess over my symptoms (especially when the VS is strong) and work myself into a panic attack thinking I'm losing my mind, before falling into despondency. Interestingly, the other day my brother told me "there's no point going crazy over thinking you're going crazy", which helped me a lot and put things into perspective a little. I have spoken to my doctor and he'd be more than happy to prescribe anti-anxiety medication or something like that (especially if this is affecting my quality of life), but I really don't know if any possible side effects would be worse than what I'm already experiencing. I may investigate more herbal or naturalistic sources of relief, and adjust my diet to see if that helps at all. Right now I'm taking Pukka Herbal ashwagandha and valerian root capsules to help with relaxing and sleep – you can buy these at any decent Tesco or pharmacy probably. Not sure if they're actually working, but it's only been a few days so I'll give it some time. From what I've read these herbs can be quite good for fighting feelings of depression and certain types of anxiety, though I'm also aware that these kinds of herbal remedies often lean into pseudo-scientific explanations and that kind of thing. One effective thing I can attest to is chamomile tea though; I've found it very helpful for sleep or relaxation. On one hand I'm disappointed that I can't do things like enjoy a pot of black coffee in the morning or a few glasses of wine or beer at night without experiencing crippling anxiety (plus nausea, dizziness and disassociation), though if avoiding these things helps then I'll just have to live without them. There's been some talk on other forums and discussions about relatively untested treatments, pharmaceutical drugs and regimens that can improve our condition so I'm going to stay tuned and explore the possibilities.

I was able to work through my initial symptoms back in October/November/December, even when drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes with friends my symptoms rarely became debilitating. It helped my anxiety a lot that things were opening back up after lockdown and we were returning to a sense of normality, and during this time I didn't have much trouble getting work done in college. At Christmas/New Years I came home and the whole family was drinking a lot over the course of a week or two, which I joined in with, and then being back in lockdown things felt a bit surreal. This drinking (and possibly being hungover) seemed to trigger even worse feelings than I had experienced before; I began getting strong episodes of depersonalisation/derealisation when just sitting down relaxing – noises around me felt extremely loud and intense, and the visual snow/after-images grow increasingly distracting. As well as this I have recently experienced nausea, paranoia/hyper-vigilance, and brain fog. I seem to experience mood swings; where some days I feel pretty calm and stable, on others I feel kind of empty and down, and then the rest of the time I get waves of anxiety. These neurotic feelings seem to effect my ability to get to sleep at a decent time as well. Because of this I have struggled to get back into my college work, though I'm sure if I just sat down and did it rather than procrastinating I would probably be better off! Do you ever remember having any visual snow before this started?

This might be a long one, but here goes. I've been looking at this site since the end of November, and I think I've found what's been affecting me. I'm 22-years old; a college student living in student accommodation away from home during term. I've occasionally experimented with drugs since I was about 15 (in social groups, never alone), but it was only in the last year or so that I ever tried ecstasy or LSD – not something I've done often but I found them quite positive experiences. Both times I took acid were quite low doses, and generally njoyable experiences. The only thing I noticed was that I often get bad anxiety from smoking weed since the first time I tripped; before acid this never happened. The experiences were so positive that I became a little bit obsessed with psychedelia; the music, the art, all the hippy stuff basically. For weeks after my trips I felt more clear-minded, focused, happy and just generally appreciative of life – even when COVID lockdowns became a part of our lives last March. After lockdown during the summer of last year I partied with friends for a couple of days straight; lots of alcohol, ketamine, and on the last day we all took a some of ecstasy. The afternoon of the day I came home I began experiencing what I think was serotonin syndrome; I got waves of panic, heart palpitations, agitation. It was very unpleasant, and it stuck in my mind long after I felt better. My current predicament was triggered by a caffeine-induced panic attack at the end of last September; I saw a flash of light in my peripheral vision after drinking black coffee, which led to continuing anxiety, visual disturbances, panic attacks, and negative thought loops – all these symptoms seem to come in waves, there's days or weeks when they're far less apparent and times when they feel overwhelmingly intense. I even got an eye test and was prescribed glasses for slight nearsightedness, but they said there was absolutely nothing wrong with my eyes from what they could tell. I had an ECG and a blood test at the doctors too, and they said there didn't seem to be any health issues that they could see – which is good news. Visual disturbances include visual snow (VS), prolonged after-images, floaters, blue sky ectopic phenomenon (a swirling or rapid movement effect on skies – especially on a bright blue day), as well as occasional perception of movement or lights in peripheral vision, “cracks” or vein/branch-like after-images in my field of vision just after blinking for a few minutes after I wake up, and flashes of light when the eyes are closed (when trying to sleep). These visual disturbances often create a sense of anxiety, and distract me from everyday tasks. The anxiety tends to get worse if I'm hungover, at night, and especially when I’m trying to fall asleep. I’ve also been experiencing occasional high-pitched ringing sound in my ears (more the right ear than the left one), heart flutters/palpitations, a slight feeling of nausea (generally worse after eating), and a sudden sense of dizziness or disconnection which may trigger mental panic or turmoil. Episodes like this don’t happen frequently, but are usually accompanied by a hot feeling in my face and an over-sensitivity to noises and sensations around me, with even a relaxed living room feeling chaotic and overwhelming. Unpleasant episodes like this tend to happen on days when I spend a lot of time ruminating about my condition. My mind often gravitates towards the idea that I may have a serious mental disorder – especially schizophrenia, despite not demonstrating the symptoms of this disorder (delusions, complex hallucinations, hearing voices, etc.). It’s more of a fear that I am experiencing what comes before a psychotic episode (prodromal period), and a feeling of helplessness and panic quickly grows out of this. I spend a lot of time Googling symptoms of various mental illnesses as way to reassure myself that I’m not psychotic, but sometimes I think I’m subconsciously trying to confirm that I am – however labored the justification may be. I think a lot of this is mainly down to the visual issues, but also the general ‘out of sorts’ feelings I’ve had. When I’m feeling particularly out of sorts or anxious, my mind tends to feel jumbled and chaotic – a fuzzy psychedelic feeling in my mind’s eye where it’s difficult to clearly visualize things properly or think clearly. This feeling can be intense and distracting, and it often makes me feel lethargic or low on energy. I also have trouble sleeping, or rather trouble going to sleep before 12 am. This isn’t a new thing; it has been a recurring issue for me for the last four or five years, but never as consistently problematic for my mental health (being due to anxiety or visual issues), and I was rarely ever kept awake when I wanted to sleep. These sleep problems often mean I wake up and fall asleep again multiple times every morning and struggle to fully get up before 11 am, and I think this effects my productivity for the rest of the day. I don’t feel well-rested when I wake up, so I think this messes with my mood throughout the day. Today I had the worst panic attack of my life; in broad daylight on a pleasant day at home surrounded by my family. I haven't taken anything (even alcohol or cigarettes) since before Christmas, so that hasn't added to my problems thankfully. I began to fixate on the sense of movement in my peripheral vision and visual snow, which set off my anxiety in an extremely intense way and it has taken all day to calm myself down. After talking with my parents we agreed it might be time to see a doctor; this isn't going to go away easily and I just want to rule out any other possibilities. Apologies for the length of this post, I just had to get it all out. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I would appreciate any advice. I will post an update if my symptoms change, and I'll try to keep up to date on any future developments.

I haven't made my own introduction yet, but I've been the same looking at this forum for a couple of months without posting anything. I'm a 22-year old college student, and I know it's not relevant but I'm also from Ireland – so it's good to hear I'm not alone here! I've been experiencing very similar symptoms. I smoked weed with my friends maybe once or twice a month for about a year, and this sometimes caused really unpleasant anxiety (only after doing LSD for the first time – only did it once again, last year). My current predicament began after a caffeine-induced panic attack at the end of last September. I have a very similar issue with CEVs when I'm about to drift off to sleep, which definitely makes it more difficult to relax. There's days and weeks when things feel much easier to deal with, and I feel like I can deal with the visual issues (mainly the fuzzy, constant visual snow and after images) and I'm not particularly anxious; but other times (especially recently while being in national lockdown again) when the visual symptoms trigger negative thought patterns, extremely bad anxiety and panic attacks. I've gotten myself into a problem where I convince myself that these symptoms are the start of a much more serious mental disorder, which isn't very likely or helpful but exacerbates my anxiety greatly nonetheless. I've started speaking with my college counselor, and my anxiety has been bad enough recently that I think it might be good for me to speak with a doctor. I would recommend anybody else experiencing these things to reach out to mental health/medical professionals as much as possible; it's such a difficult thing to deal with by yourself. Keep going, I'm sure it will get better with time. Be well!