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Ferdinand

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  1. Hi everyone! First, I would like to share my experience which scared me so much, that I decided to quit doing psychedelics forever. I am somewhat of a rookie when it comes to psychedelics. I did psilocybin 2 times, LSD 3 times, MDMA about 8 times and DMT aboout 5-6 times in the past 4 years. Currently I am 22 years old and studying at a university. About a week ago I decided to take some LSD for the 3rd time. I took half a tab. The trip wasn't as pleasant as before, but it was not bad either. Apart from the usual visual distortions and hallucinations I also experienced visual snow and tracing. I saw flickering lights when I was walking on the streets at night and I saw red and blue lights reflecting on surfaces and I had to look back to make sure it is not police, but the streets were empty. Later, when I came home (12 hours after the effects started) I had no visual anymore and went to bed. I was laying there watching something on my laptop and I see in my peripheral vision, light flickering. I look there, it goes away, but after 3-4 seconds it comes back. I get scared start to read about it on internet and that was the time when I discovered HPPD. Then I got really scared that I ruined my brain/mind/receptors permanently, with some silly thing. My parents would never understand something like this. I felt alone with this disorder, which makes life a living hell. When I closed my eyes and tried to sleep after 3-4 seconds these flickering started again and it was bothering me so much that I couldn't close my eyes. I don't believe in god, but I started to pray to him and after 3 hours I could fall asleep. I wake up the next morning and I see normally. The flickering with closed eyes remained for another hour after waking up, but now it is all gone. The next following days, I started to research this topic, because it is crazy that not many people has awareness of this phenomenon. I have a lot of friends messing around with psychedelics and they have never even heard about it! Honestly, I didn't know there is any risk involved dealing with psychedelics other than you can lose your mind and you can get schizophrenia. Thank you for reading my story. I am really curious about the reason that can cause this disorder. In your opinion what caused your HPPD in your case? A bad trip? Combining drugs? Using psychedelics excessively? When I thought I crippled myself for life, the feeling was devastating. I feel great empathy for all of you who are going through this.
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