Hi all,
I've been having a problem as of late. I developed HPPD probably sometime after a trip last year, and although it was initially kind of freaky, I ran with it because it is very mild and doesn't affect me too much. All I ever get is moving text when staring at stuff, blurring and occasional after images. However, in January I had a very bad trip on LSD, and have not felt the same since. During the trip, I essentially became psychotic, had a lot of delusions etc. It left me pretty scarred and I swore of LSD. Then come May I tried a sliver of a tab, and it went alright until I foolishly combined it with weed. Had a full on trip with terrible thoughts.
Now it's July, since my trip in January I have moments where I start to freak out for no good reason. Certain words, and other things seem to trigger it : things that remind me of thoughts I had on my trip (which is a lot). Suddenly, my heart starts beating really quick, I get really hot, and almost feel like I'm tripping again. I get worried that I'm going to develop schizophrenia constantly. Sometimes I'll hear a fairly innocuous sound, and it throws me into an anxious loop about starting to hear voices. Or sometimes I'll start to feel like certain things have a special significance to them (which I've heard is a schizophrenia thing). Or I'll feel like I'm losing my mind, and my connection with reality. There are other things, but I can't recall at the moment.
The thing is, I'm able to lead a very normal life day-to-day. I'm not exhibiting any symptoms like social withdraw, poor hygeine, or low motivation (well no more than usual anyways :P). Sometimes I wonder if I'm having poverty of speech, but I've always had trouble expressing myself (likely have aspergers).
TL;DR I am constantly afraid of going psychotic and developing schizophrenia, and I feel it has some connection to my drug use. I really need help with this. I have an appt with a psychiatrist next week and it couldn't come sooner. Does/has anyone else had similar experiences? Is this associated with HPPD rather than psychosis?
Thank you so much for any insights you may have, I really appreciate it.