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Beefheartfan

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Everything posted by Beefheartfan

  1. We all know about keppra and lamictal. And they seem to work wonders for some people. My question is: lots of people don’t respond well with those anticonvulsants’ side effects, so do other anticonvulsants have the same effect on HPPD? Or is are the options limited to hose two? Has anyone had experience with other anticonvulsants?
  2. This might not make any sense. I don’t know a lot about keppra. I guess manu here we familiar with “the keppra study.” Where I believe 24/27 became “flashback free”. This seems almost to good to be true - and when I search this website it certainly seems so. Only like 40% who try it have any good news, and mostly it’s to a limited degree. However, the study says that the subjects had HPPD for about 3 months. And a lot of th people here have had it for much longer. Maybe keprpa is more effective if it’s given sooner in the procedure, and not later. Just a thought. Feel free to prove me wrong
  3. Well, this is quite hard to write, and I think I'll try to keep it relatively short. I've never particularly enjoyed life. Already when I was 3-4 years old I would get depressive episodes. These have followed me throughout my life. As of the last year I haven't found much reason to live, really - I loathe almost everything about the world, and I don't really want to wake up in it. So, naturally my thoughts often came upon suicide. However, it was always more of a thought: "That is always a possibility." Suicidal ideation I think it's called. Queue my HPPD. So about 2 months ago I got a mild form of HPPD. I have light visual snow and blue field entropic phenomenon and ghosting of white things on dark backgrounds. Sometimes when I'm very tired linear thinking also gets very hard. This I feel was in a way the last straw. Now I feel a lot more suicidal as of late - I didn't enjoy life to begin with, but now it really seems like it's worthless. I don't know for how long I can handle this world. All I ever really experience is catastrophe. I know people with HPPD can learn to cope, I know you can still live normal lives, and I know some people get better by themselves, but I really can't see myself out of this. I'm starting to think about killing myself almost every night, and I don't know for how long I can have these thoughts. What makes it even harder is the fact that I can't even really get antidepressants because that'll just worsen the HPPD. I'm thinking of submitting myself to a psychiatric institution just so that I don't take my life and I get help. I feel like im constantly on the edgy of a nervous breakdown. I can't do this. It's not that I want to die, really, but more that I don't want to live like this. I really just can't bring myself to make my family and friends that sad. But, Jesus, I just want all this constant pain to end. I really don't know what to do. Thanks for reading. I just needed to say that.
  4. Pretty self-explanatory, really. Would be nice if it’s in the Copenhagen-area.
  5. Okay. I am hoping for full recovery. I talked to a guy that had one. I’ll try and remember to write if I, hopefully, do have one I want some anti anxiety, as I said, but I’m scared it’ll make it worse or permanent. Is that something you’ve seen with, for an example, SSRIs? i just have a very hard time being positive, and already struggled with depression before this.
  6. Pretty self explanatory. I’ve gotten what might be mild HPPD - but it might also just be extreme anxiety that creates the symptoms. I have a psychiatrist appointment, and wanted to look in to anti-anxiety medication. Are there types of meds you should avoid? Or others that are recommended? I just don’t want to worsen my HPPD, if I really do have that. Though, I admit it could be anxiety.
  7. Okay. Will look around. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist soon. I was wondering if there’s any medication I should stay away from? and is it possible to recover completely? I see a lot of different opinions on that. Got to admit I have a very hard time with all this right now. And I’m still not sure if I have HPPD. My cognitive behaviour therapist told my he thinks it’s anxiety. And he has dealt a lot with people who use and abuse drugs.
  8. Weird. I see people praising it, but at the same time I haven’t found a single rapport or person that says it has cured it.
  9. Also: someone recommended I take lion’ mane supplements. Is this actually recommended?
  10. And I don’t really detect movement on the speakers (and stuff like that). That’s mostly if I’m having a panic attack. It’s more that all the little irregularities on the surface sort of trigger the visual snow-ish symptoms.
  11. Okay, thanks a lot. Yes, I have had my eyes checked, and there wasn’t an issue. I believe Tim double vision is a biproduct of anxiety, since if I relax my eye in a special way it goes away. So it’s really just the snow that’s a problem. And I’m sure my anxiety is only making that worse. So some months is the usual, right? Before it, hopefully, goes away.
  12. Also, sorry that I write all the time, feel a slight discomfort(?) when looking at fine patterns. Like the fine mesh on a speaker (if you know what I mean.) It can be a bit like it's moving, but often its mostly because it's "flashing" because of the visual snow. Which is a terrible explanation really...
  13. And yes, I'm hoping that I can enjoy a bit to drink in the future - I'm still in my country's equivalent of high school (which is a bit later than the American one), so I'm hoping I can drink a bit in the future. If it is mild HPPD - what are the chances it will fade away and get better? Can I recover completely? I have, however, for a long time thought about turning my life around. Stop doing drugs and smoking weed. So it isn't hard to stay off that since I was already in that mindset, so to speak.
  14. Thanks soooo much. The only thing I've been able to find online when searching is disappointment. You gave me a little hope. So do you think it's anxiety or just passing HPPD or what? Is there anything I can do to help it? Because I am extremely anxious that my vision is permanently impaired. Again, thanks a lot for the response.
  15. Hello. I’ve done acid thrice. The first time I did about 100 ug. A pleasant experience, and I had no problems. Didn’t really trip - mostly pleasant colours and such. Second time was something like 130 ug. Was also quite fun, but I got a thought loop, and ended up with closed eyes floating in psychedelia. After that I heard of HPPD and decided to stop, because I didn’t want that shit. I then, accidentally infested a tiny amount of LSD at a concert by mistake. Maybe something like 15-25 ug. This is abort one and a half month ago . After that I have slight visual snow. It’s mostly on dark things, but I can notice it anywhere, if I’m so inclined. It definitely is worse when I’m “aware” of it or if I’m anxious. I also have slight double vision at times, but I’m pretty sure that’s just anxiety, since if i “relax” my eye that goes away. i have almost daily panic attacks, and I’m very sad that my vision is altered the panic attacks are mostly me being extremely sad. My psychologist, who deals a lot with people with drug related problems, is quite convinced that it’s anxiety, and nothing more. Especially considering my previous fear of HPPD. Also: since then I have been exercising regularly, stopped both caffeine, drugs, weed and alcohol. I’ve only had a cigarette or two. Do I have HPPD do you think? It’s quite mild if I do, right? What are the chances it will go away, and how fast?
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