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Miller

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Everything posted by Miller

  1. Your heart rate issue is most likely associated with anxiety. Hallucinogens have the potential to greatly worsen anxiety. I have anxiety issues partially related to HPPD, but also partially related to abuse that I experienced as a child. Occasionally I will have a fast heart rate, especially when in uncomfortable environments like a doctor's office. I have learned to control most of my anxiety over many years of meditation and self-reflection. One positive lifestyle adaptation which greatly reduced the number of anxiety attacks that I experience was the elimination of caffeine from my diet. I also avoid alcohol. If possible, my recommendation to you would be to try to quit smoking and start practicing meditation. Specifically, shikantaza meditation helped me to accept those symptoms/thoughts beyond my immediate control and begin to develop improved mindfulness.
  2. I have experienced this very problem. The pressure would come in waves and last for weeks at a time. Physical examinations showed no signs of any issues that would cause said pressure. At some point, these symptoms halted altogether and I haven’t had pressure in my head for over a year. I do however occasionally experience numbness. The only strategy that ever had a significant impact for me was relaxation through music, however this did not fully eliminate the problem. Hopefully your symptoms will pass with time as mine have.
  3. I apologize for the long delay in response, I’ve had a lot change in my life recently and I stepped away from online forums for awhile. I no longer have contact with my mother. The last time that I spoke to her was about three years ago and she blamed me for what she had done. She was investigated when I was much younger, but I was under her influence and I refused to give a statement to the social workers. I truly believe that she is still a danger to others as she remains in contact with some of my nieces and nephews, but the only thing that my counselor could do was issue regular wellness checks in order to identify signs of abuse. The problem is, my mother is very good and hiding her abusive actions, therefore I doubt the social workers will find anything until it is too late.
  4. It gets better. I was dosed without my knowledge for almost ten years as a child. HPPD was hell at first, but a few lifestyle changes and some support from family has changed my life. I feel much better today even with a few (though much less severe) HPPD symptoms. Stay away from mind altering substances, eat a healthy diet, and train your mind to recognize what's happening when you have symptoms and react accordingly. Recognize that these symptoms cannot really hurt you and a more emotionally draining than anything. Understand that your mind is not broken and you still have your grasp of reality.
  5. I know of no medicinal treatment for HPPD symptoms, however I have found that mindfulness training has helped me tremendously in controlling the way that I respond to visual symptoms. I find that over a period of time my symptoms have reduced in length and severity through the use of a few calming techniques. Furthermore, I have completely eliminated caffeine, alcohol, and tobacco from my system. HPPD tends to be worsened by any type of mind altering substance or stimulant.
  6. Hello, First I would like to state that reading through this forum has provided me a great deal of support as I have wrestled with my HPPD symptoms. My story is a long one but I'll try to keep it short for my introduction. From the age of approximately nine to eighteen, my mother dosed me with a variety of psychedelics without my knowledge. During this time, I experienced extreme hallucinations. Naturally as a child this confused me greatly. During these trips my mother would tell me that I was being watched by extraterrestrials, government agents, and demons who were trying to possess me because I was the reincarnation of Jesus Christ and multiple Egyptian Gods. As a kid I didn't know any better, and I had no idea that my hallucinations were the result of increasingly strong doses of psychedelics. Beyond the crazy things that I have already mentioned, my mother also abused me in the following ways: She regularly informed me that the world is full of evil energies that I have to fight off in order to protect myself and things around me from being 'infected'. She convinced me I had telekinetic powers, and I believed her due to the trips that I had experienced. I was told almost daily that reality is an illusion similar to the film, The Matrix. She brought me to hack doctors who provided me with a fake diagnosis of Lyme Disease. She told me while I was tripping that all perfumes would cause me to become ill if I inhaled them. She pulled me out of school and convinced me to live outside in a tent and later a lean to structure in the woods behind our home in order to separate myself from 'evil energies' and 'chemicals'. She convinced me during multiple trips that my grandfather had molested me (untrue) and used me as a pawn in divorce proceedings with my father. She sexually abused me one multiple occasions while I was high. She told me that I have a direct line of communication with God and convinced me that I had to go into a trance in order to combat extraterrestrials and government agents alongside God. She told me almost daily that I had to put up shields in order to prevent my mind from leaving my body or anyone else's 'energy' from infecting me. She made me wear a copper helmet to prevent radio waves from 'infecting my brain' There are many other examples of abuse that I could name, but I think that most of you will get the point as far as the severity of the situation. My mother was diagnosed with Munchausen by proxy. Apparently she was getting drugs from known traffickers in the area whom she befriended. She was dosing me in order to convince others that she was protecting me from aliens and the government. She also used me to badly hurt my father in an ugly divorce. The extent of the abuse that had occurred was not fully revealed until I moved away from her and began to sober up. I spent many years believing I was crazy until I was informed that the homemade 'vitamins', teas, and 'breathing treatments' that my mother had been giving me were laced with psychedelics. I want point, I was being given twenty of these 'homemade vitamins' a day. For the past few years I have struggled with severe HPPD including visual and auditory hallucinations. With the help of my wife and the support of my extended family I have been able to take control of my life and I have made a tremendous amount of progress over the past year. In addition to my HPPD, I suffer from multiple phobias associated with the brainwashing my mother conducted on me while I was high. I am happy to report that through exposure therapy and mindfulness training I have concurred most of those phobias. Right now I am developing healthy coping strategies for dealing with HPPD symptoms when they occur. One thing that has helped me tremendously is reading the stories of others who have experienced symptoms similar to my own. I want to thank you all for your help and I hope that my story may serve as inspiration for others struggling with HPPD.
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