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HDDeer

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HDDeer last won the day on February 15 2019

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  1. Havent been here for a while, nothing has really changed in regards to my hppd, just thought id give an update to the med i started. Started taking a med called amitriptyline. Its an old antidepressant that was used back in the 60's for a treatment of numerous things. Its actually been doing me pretty good, the thing about this med is that it doesn't focus completely on serotonin like SSRIs normally do. This medication actually hits a bunch of different receptors in the brain which is why its more than likely it can cause a lot of side effects, non hppd related. The med hits a
  2. About two weeks ago i did pure mdma(i dont want any criticism i know its not smart to do it with hppd) Anyways this leads me to my question, as of recently ive noticed my hppd getting worse, the day after i did the molly it got really bad, but then i took my dose of lamotrigine and by the next day my hppd had been back to baseline, that was over two weeks ago. The last 3-4 days ive been having a few episodes of depersonalization. I should mention that up until last night i had been doing nofap for the last 21 days, because i suffer from PIED and i want it to get better. La
  3. I had anxiety before hppd, so thats not plausible.
  4. Im sure not all of you suffer from this, but i wonder in some cases would it be something to consider? So im not extremely familiar with how lsd binds or acts on dopamine receptors, but ive read that the dopamine action can cause underlying psychiatric disorders to come out if you were disposed to them. I had a bad lsd trip a little over a year ago, my thoughts were really intrusive and clinged onto tv shows like they were trying to tell me stuff, like i was going to end up gay, that i was going to end up going crazy and attacking my family, and that i should practise some kind of f
  5. Do you think we will or maybe some of us will get answers to this one day? I feel like not enough people know of it to consider trying to help us, especially now that Dr. Abraham is retired. I just want answers. I know the terminology drug induced psychosis is something that gets tossed around a lot which, maybe we have it all mixed up. Some claim damage to gaba receptors, which also doesn't make much sense to me considering there have been the odd case where people have cured their hppd with psychedelics. Why do some get rid of theirs using meds like lamotrigine and keppra, and othe
  6. I take etizolam. Stuff works great but it's very easy to crave.
  7. 3rd day on it, one more time it seems like after I take the pill, my visuals get worse, debating on stopping.
  8. This is my second day on it. I definitely feel different, I feel like I'm a little bit more "there" but at the same my visuals are a little worse and I'm slightly agitated. I don't know if it's supposed to get worse before it gets better or what. Having mixed results currently. It's also doing something weird with my mouth.
  9. Hey guys, My doctor prescribed me lamictal yesterday and as pretty much all of you know, it's one of the more highly regarded medication out there for this condition. My hppd is actually very bearable, the only time I struggle is when I'm alone in the house where the lsd trip happened, which leads me to a few questions. If I decide to take it, and my hppd gets better/worse/stays the same, if I stop taking it will I return to baseline? Has anyone else taken this med?
  10. I feel like psychologists don't understand hppd because it varies, not one person's hppd is the exact same. My personal belief is that hppd is mental illness or brain damage done by rcs. The brain is obviously wired differently for people who are susceptible to hppd as opposed to the people that aren't. There's a reason for that. People are born with these hallucinations not knowing what the hell they are so they say oh i have hppd. My brother has severe autism, sees static, and weird hallucinations, whose to say I am not on the spectrum just because I haven't been diagnosed, at this point it
  11. Was it a sativa strain? I heard Indica actually isn't too bad with hppd.
  12. I don't really know where else to vent about this, in all honesty, it's really bothering me that this could go on for so long, anyways let me begin. This is just a thought of mine I have, and I don't want anyone to judge me for it because I feel like it could make me kinda sound delusional. Let me begin, It's been about a year now since I first touched mdma, I remember when I first got my hands on it, I did it on Christmas eve and Christmas, lied to my family about where I was, i was doing it hours before work, there was a point when I did it something like 5 nights in a row.
  13. I remember sitting on the toilet one time on shrooms and I looked down at my body and it all just looked beyond bizarre to me, not that it was morphing or it looked funny or anything. Just a weird vibe I got, almost like I was just looking through my eyes as if I was only a pair of eyes. Weird stuff.
  14. I have nerve damage in parts of my body and taking mushrooms somehow helped those nerve endings while I was on them. I was able to feel the soft fibers of my hair through my fingers which I couldn't feel sober. I also always looked more attractive and muscular on shrooms(I believe the way I saw myself on shrooms is the way I actually look to people) when something treats you positive it's hard to imagine it treating you badly. But I'm sure it would if I took them.
  15. Man mushrooms always treated me so well, sometimes I wanna believe it would still treat me good with hppd. But mdma always treated me too good, bad time. Those days are over.
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