Over a month ago I had a strong San Pedro Mescaline Tea, which resulted in a fearsome trip that left my heart, mind and spirit feeling free, much as all the promises of the Huachuma brew claim. I began this quest to heal a rough two and a half rift with my boyfriend, who I loved very much at the time. I had a fabulous two weeks after this, got back in touch with my sexuality and felt the best I have in years.
My recovery was a little overwhelming to him and my new energy levels and motivation caused us to have a bad fight. Three days of trying to patch things up led to me questioning him on the nature of our relationship and ended up with cruel answers that sent me spiraling into irrationality. I had some Hawaiian Baby Woodrose LSA seeds lying around the house. I took 3 of those and a few klonipin and fell into a mentally uncomfortable slumber with a hangover later. The next day I realized that the "full" feeling the Huachuma put into my heart was gone, and I felt far from and isolated from my boyfriend.
Tuesday: So the the next day I consumed a moderate amount of mescaline tea hoping to reset things. This time I was alone and when some uncomfortable feelings came on I went out to drink 2 beers, felt good and wanted to go for a walk but ended up home with the beers anyway. My boyfriend dropped in on me and I felt happy in the moment but nervously had another 3 beers.
Wednesday: I awake the next morning, he is off to work and I feel far from him again. Decide to reach for the very last little bit of mescaline tea to see if it could cure my heartache. Nervous feelings consume me again and I drink a six pack of till I pass out.
Friday he returns home and I am suffering. After months of feeling emotionally distanced from him, I missed the feeling of those two weeks. I no longer felt like I knew I loved him him and our relationship felt like a charade. I decide to split a six pack with him. This didn't help and I reached for 3 of the mysterious LSA seeds. I wanted to get back in touch with that place where I felt our love.
I ended up drinking 5 beers and tripping into the sloppiness crying mess of "I love you because, I love you because".
The next day I felt stoic, closed off and had a complete loss of appetite.
The next few days brought on depression, anxiety attacks, drowsiness, depersonalization, brain fog and fear I ruined my brain.
A week has passed. I cannot eat, I feel cut off from my feelings, dry and empty inside. I started noticing trace visuals sparingly when tired. I go through loopys visions of recollections of sad memories when with my bf . I get anxious very easily and my hands shake.
Does anyone know if these are parts of HPPD or something else that may pass. I was on 5-htp and polygala tenuifolia when I ingested the LSA.
Over a month ago I had a strong San Pedro Mescaline Tea, which resulted in a fearsome trip that left my heart, mind and spirit feeling free, much as all the promises of the Huachuma brew claim. I began this quest to heal a rough two and a half rift with my boyfriend, who I loved very much at the time. I had a fabulous two weeks after this, got back in touch with my sexuality and felt the best I have in years. My recovery was a little overwhelming to him and my new energy levels and motivation caused us to have a bad fight. Three days of trying to patch things up led to me questioning him on the nature of our relationship and ended up with cruel answers that sent me spiraling into irrationality. I had some Hawaiian Baby Woodrose LSA seeds lying around the house. I took 3 of those and a few klonipin and fell into a mentally uncomfortable slumber with a hangover later. The next day I realized that the "full" feeling the Huachuma put into my heart was gone, and I felt far from and isolated from my boyfriend. Tuesday: So the the next day I consumed a moderate amount of mescaline tea hoping to reset things. This time I was alone and when some uncomfortable feelings came on I went out to drink 2 beers, felt good and wanted to go for a walk but ended up home with the beers anyway. My boyfriend dropped in on me and I felt happy in the moment but nervously had another 3 beers. Wednesday: I awake the next morning, he is off to work and I feel far from him again. Decide to reach for the very last little bit of mescaline tea to see if it could cure my heartache. Nervous feelings consume me again and I drink a six pack of till I pass out. Friday he returns home and I am suffering. After months of feeling emotionally distanced from him, I missed the feeling of those two weeks. I no longer felt like I knew I loved him him and our relationship felt like a charade. I decide to split a six pack with him. This didn't help and I reached for 3 of the mysterious LSA seeds. I wanted to get back in touch with that place where I felt our love. I ended up drinking 5 beers and tripping into the sloppiness crying mess of "I love you because, I love you because". The next day I felt stoic, closed off and had a complete loss of appetite. The next few days brought on depression, anxiety attacks, drowsiness, depersonalization, brain fog and fear I ruined my brain. A week has passed. I cannot eat, I feel cut off from my feelings, dry and empty inside. I started noticing trace visuals sparingly when tired. I go through loopys visions of recollections of sad memories when with my bf . I get anxious very easily and my hands shake. Does anyone know if these are parts of HPPD or something else that may pass. I was on 5-htp and polygala tenuifolia when I ingested the LSA.