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Onemorestep

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Everything posted by Onemorestep

  1. Hey hall! the time line is very person specific. I would say you are lucky and you’re a is most likely less severe. But who knows! stay away from the benzos. They feel like the only thing that helps in these situations but they are terrible foe your brain. I’m sorry that you feel so bad but daily benzo use will come back to haunt you. I still have ptsd from withdrawal from them... it is best if you can do without drugs at all, but if you absolutely must take a gaba drug gabapentin is better than benzos. You’re body will be the best tool you have to heal as far as we understand this disorder right now. No hallucinogenics for you my friend you are super sensitive! (I had been on ssris for over a decade when my hppd first started. I decided to stop them (gradually!!!) and I noticed that I felt better every time I reduced the dose. Years later I tried citalopram for 8 months. It only causes low grade anxiety that went away when I stopped. In fact I did cold Turkey on the 10mg citalopram not intentionally, but simply because I felt so much better not on them).
  2. So sorry to hear this jay is right—off all those medications. It’s very hard to learn individually what helps and hurts with meds with this but the rule of thumb for 99% of people is—no antipsychotics and no SSRIs. Don’t screw with serotonin. Do not take anticholinergics. Do not take any recreational drugs LIKE NONE. If you’re going to try a medication, gabapentin may be of some relief to you. It is easier to stop than benzodiazepine drugs and has less dependency issues after stopping it. A member of this website, Visual, felt that gabapentin stopped the worsening of the progression of his hppd and allowed him to function. It helped reduce a lot of his anxiety symptoms and he stayed on it for 4 years and then stopped without a return of those symptoms. start with a low tester dose. Take a capsule and pour out 9/10 of it and take that. If that goes well, take a bit more until you know it’s safe. Then figure out your optimal dosage to stop the severity of your panic. once again, so sorry you are feeling this way. Continue to reach out here if you need to. Everyone here has gone through this too in one way or another. (If you think you’re feeling better, do not take any drugs. Promise you it goes poorly 99% of the time)
  3. Its always interesting to find out something new in regards to medications that have "cured" people of HPPD (sadly not everyone ) "Epilepsy is a neurological seizure disorder that affects over 100 million people worldwide. Levetiracetam, either alone, as monotherapy, or as adjunctive treatment, is widely used to control certain types of seizures. Despite its increasing popularity as a relatively safe and effective anti-convulsive treatment option, its mechanism(s) of action are poorly understood. Studies have suggested neuronal, glial, and immune mechanisms of action. Understanding the precise mechanisms of action of levetiracetam would be extremely beneficial in helping to understand the processes involved in seizure generation and epilepsy. Moreover, a full understanding of these mechanisms would help to create more efficacious treatments while minimizing side-effects. The current study examined the effects of levetiracetam on the mitochondrial membrane potential of neuronal and non-neuronal cells, in vitro, in order to determine if levetiracetam influences metabolic processes in these cell types. In addition, this study sought to address possible immune-mediated mechanisms by determining if levetiracetam alters the expression of immune receptor–ligand pairs. The results show that levetiracetam induces expression of CD95 and CD178 on NGF-treated C17.2 neuronal cells. The results also show that levetiracetam increases mitochondrial membrane potential on C17.2 neuronal cells in the presence of nerve growth factor. In contrast, levetiracetam decreases the mitochondrial membrane potential of splenocytes and this effect was dependent on intact invariant chain, thus implicating immune cell interactions. These results suggest that both neuronal and non-neuronal anti-epileptic activities of levetiracetam involve control over energy metabolism, more specifically, mΔΨ. Future studies are needed to further investigate this potential mechanism of action." Full study here.
  4. hello everyone! I recently learned I have a very acute re-occurrence of Epstein Barr. It is causing a variety of mental symptoms not dissimilar to hppd but lacking 99% of the visuals. I thought someone here might find this interesting I know somewhere on this forum is conversation about hppd and viruses but for the life of me I can’t remember where (like my shoes of late...) for real though.... it’s hell. I’ve been having panic attacks that are SUPER strong. Stronger than anything I’ve had before. My only hope is I can stave it off from my body eventually. In the meantime—I need some advice on how I can support my brain and immune system. Anti-inflammatory action +++ for the noggin. It’s been very acute and I feel the inflammation in my mood and cognition (extreme irritability at times/baaaad brain fog/anxiety/panic attacks/doom) it has effected my vision but not in a very hppd like way. Words are a bit blurry now that’s all. Lines are not as sharp. originally I thought this was an hppd spike but after comparing notes with other EBV long haulers and finding perfect matchups of symptoms, I reevaluated. If anyone has any suggestions or knowledge of EBV I would be most grateful Much love, oms
  5. Afaik taurine is not an upper and is used in conjunction with caffeine to make it smoother because it provides inhibitory action. That doesn’t negate your bad reaction—ppl with hppd can react all sorts of funny ways.
  6. In the world of hppd, I think almost anything is possible symptoms wise hahah. I mean, if someone had just a few visual symptoms, would they even find there way here like you? Usually people come here because they are freaking the fuck out. I know I didn’t come here when my symptoms were primarily just visual weird things. I hadn’t even heard of hppd until about two years into really having it bad. what you see and how you notice things is a very interesting science. I didn’t realize I wasn’t seeing colors saturated properly until I took NSI-189. But I didn’t know... until I knew. Could you have knocked something into place? Out of place? Is it hppd? Who knows. You took a psychedelic and are experiencing persistent visual changes. That’s a symptom of hppd. It doesn’t mean you do or do not have it. But when you’re playing with fire it’s a good idea to have an extinguisher hehe. I think just taking a break from drugs for a hot second would be good. And just stay away from psychedelics. They’re just too bizarre on the brain haha
  7. Hydrocodone, even 7 years after hppd onset, causes me to become INSANELY anxious about a week after use. I cannot fathom why.
  8. Don’t worry about it I’ve had some similar times in my life where I was hair trigger. Plus withdrawals are hard! so sorry to hear about your dog Super happy you can go at your own pace!
  9. I have a lot of that kind of yo-yo-ing. couldn’t tell you why
  10. Based off your reaction I would advise you do not take any more. most people with hppd do not respond well to antipsychotics. They often effect dopamine (maybe positive) but also they interact with the 5ht2a receptor. I am sure this is very intense feeling. You are going to get better with time and total drug abstinence. Do this for a few years (I know it must seem like a long time but it is not). you are lucky— you are young and the brain can heal at your age very quickly compared to when you are older. the only drugs I can think to recommend very early on in hppd are daily fish oil (1-10g daily) as much as you can tolerate. It will help reduce your brain inflammation. Brain inflammation after injury often causes a lot of bad emotions. magnesium is very good too early on. small doses of copper can help reduce glutamate and high dopamine but should not be taken for long periods of time. Discontinue if you get stomach pain, black stool, headaches. i also find low doses of naltrexone to help. intranasal insulin do not take benzodiazepine drugs. Do not take any marijuana or opiates. Do not do drugs right now. Most drugs will make you feel worse the next day like you experienced before. Do breathing exercises. 3 seconds inhale, 12 seconds exhale. This will trick your body into relaxing and will help get your brain out of fight or flight mode. sending you love and healing, oms
  11. Few days ago I relapsed hard into depression and chronic fatigue. Hard to feel the feels I described earlier. It feels like it’s been reduced but it’s complicated. I ended a 3.5 year relationship last week so it really makes it impossible for me to accurately continue to update this thread. If I didn’t feel awful from this, I would truly be crazy. Nevertheless, I can’t attribute my emotions to things one way or the other so I will be stopping my updates for the time being.
  12. Methylation is very complex and insanely hard to navigate. Just taking methyl b12 can cause other vitamins and minerals to tank—notably methyl folate and potassium. it also can increase neurotransmitters in the brain. in my stack, I must take methyl-b12 to keep the whole thing running. By itself though, it’s bad for me.
  13. I apologize if my words were blunt or contained information you already understand. I would scour the internet/google scholar (use the advanced search functions!) for any literature you can provide your doctor to support your claim for a slow taper. Ime, doctors are much more receptive to scientific literature than their patients. this might help. I just scammed a few sections in one part but they mention the Ashton protocol and even just going to a medical doctor instead and explaining what is going on, as this really needs to be treated more as medical issue than a psychiatric one. https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=uS8DEAAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PP1&dq=info:qRzoBsk_a3AJ:scholar.google.com/&ots=408ILOe0WV&sig=mJ1RajGDxoeJm0o08Yu7C7q2qMk#v=onepage&q&f=false my friend also had a shit head of a psychiatrist who tried to do the same thing. I’m sorry a doctor got you into this mess and now a doctor isn’t properly helping you out. I would call as many doctors and psychiatrists you can until you find one that is receptive and understanding. Even if they won’t see you, or are too far from you to treat you, they may be willing to call YOUR doctor and explain a proper route of treatment. Even email people studying benzodiazepines at universities. Email everyone. Create a template to do so. If it makes you feel better, my friend is now doing well, has a good well paying job (he didn’t while on benzos), and is frankly more competent.
  14. I consider this post to be very outdated now, both by my reactions to things and also just the website I was using wasn’t great. I now use self decode for my genetics. most importantly, for my methylation I now follow This protocol by Freddd... it is not for the lighthearted and I haven’t made it fully through it but still I have had enormous benefit from it. https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=sites&srcid=ZGVmYXVsdGRvbWFpbnx1bHRyYXdlbGxuZXNzcHJvamVjdHxneDo3ODUwNWMwODUyODZjMmM0
  15. No problem bud. If you can, yes. Especially if you’ve drank and noticed it effects you differently from before. Many report that alcohol makes their hppd worse, albeit temporarily for most. Alcohol kinda has a very dirty chemical moa. I can’t think of any brain disorder where it’s recommended. Hell there isn’t even a safe daily amount set by the government anymore. there is some beliefs here on this website that hppd involves some measure of brain injury as a component (scary word but such a common injury). If looking at it this way, one would deff want to avoid alcohol. I’ve noticed with hppd triggerings in my past my brain inflammation skyrockets. Alcohol will make that worse. I love alcohol (or used to; now it feels like ass), so I’m just saying probs best to avoid for a bit because if you play your cards right, you’ll be able to drink for the rest of your life, should you choose, and not have to deal with it aggravating a mental disease. It’s a pain in the ass I know since it’s half of how many societies socialize. life is super long. Any annoyance or discomfort you feel over the next year from having to make these changes and whatnot will seem a distant memory eventually when you’re having a few beers with friends down the road.
  16. I’ve gone through fast tapers. I don’t recommend it... it’s much better to make a liquid solution and taper so slowly you don’t notice. It’s the easiest on your brain too. my friend did 7 years maxing out at your dose. He went too fast. this isn’t meant to make you anxious, just IMO, you will be in withdrawal for 1-2 years. You can either taper so slow you barely notice, or you can go fast and be in hard withdrawals for 1-2 years. The time will still be the same; the only difference is how much you suffer during that period. I don’t outright say this often but your doctor is NOT to be trusted. He’s asking you to do 200mph on the highway blindfolded. .5 every 2 weeks is insanely fast for someone who has been on benzos that long. At the very very least get some baclofen or memantine or something so you don’t have some sort of excitotoxic event. Benzo receptors are sensitive and if you stop too fast they’ll snap closed (quite literally). It’s very hard to get them to unsnap closed once they have and that’s why often people who go down too fast find going back up to their previous dose doesn’t cut it. so go slow so your receptors can maintain a little bit of their structural integrity. Like stupid slow. preferable: liquid solution Reduction: .035mg per week/.125mg per month. Off in 2 years. the more frequent and lessened the dose reduction the better. If you can figure out how to do a 0.004464285714286mg reduction per day dose, you’ll be off in 2 years and probably not notice much at all. dissolving 3mg into 1000 grams of water and then removing grams with a dropper and drinking the remaining might work?
  17. Tried it and didn’t notice anything like this! It’s very sedating though for me haha. Gave me some not unpleasant head pressure? Made me need some b12 badddd though for some reason.
  18. Glad to hear you’re being proactive. Keep us updated at the very least it’s nice to have a record of your reaction to come back to in the future if you need it.
  19. Abstinence is the only known thing that can help with time for certain. After a period (its months to years) some leave this “sensitized state” I call the acute phase of hppd. They then either recover or enter the chronic phase. even if you feel “normal” after a period of time, you can still be in the sensitization state and a psych can throw you back in 10x worse than the time before. A mistake I’ve made in the past is thinking in past this stage when I am really not. It’s really quite fascinating in the exponential quality of the increasing intensity of it. even if you leave the acute phase you can still retrigger it later in life. Unfortunately, once you’ve gotten bit, there doesn’t seem a way to go back to causal use although some have reported being able to handle cannabis after a fashion but only well into recovery. but yea you don’t really have much in the way of options. This is generally a two direction street when in the acute phase— one leads to possible recover and the other straight into a hell you can’t possibly imagine xD I would go as far as to say those with hppd can be the most miserable people on the planet the symptoms can be so intense. Not to freak you out— yours seems mild. Although that’s a comparative statement haha
  20. I get this periodically. It’s incredibly irritating at best. I’ve had all sorts of muscular issues since getting hppd though. AFAIK nothing to just take and make it go away... I just do a lot of exercises to chill it out. I find a breath in for 3 seconds into the diaphragm, then upper chest, then belly followed by a 10 second even exhale helps it. Takes some time and practice but it’s also fantastic for excess adrenaline.
  21. I had a very positive reaction mentally. For some it really can “cure”. Remember to take b6 at least if you take it. It can lower those levels for some reason and that creates some of the side effects. Probably couldn’t hurt to throw in some other b vitamins if/when you take it and see how you feel. Physically I had a very bad reaction. But my reaction was exceedingly rare and I’ve never encountered anyone with a similar experience so honestly no point in getting into it. I should have known better than to try it, as I’ve had bad reactions to this class of drug before. Most consider Keppra to be very very safe.
  22. Blunting is putting it lightly... mostly I just had sympathy for others. Only the worst suffering could evoke empathy. Additionally, It was like my threshold/bar for feeling intense emotion had been severely raised. My baseline existence was the opposite of the empathogenic feeling many reported during a hallucinogenic trip. I felt very removed from humanity. now.... well it’s difficult to even watch Netflix sometimes without tearing up haha. Something very interesting is experiencing emotion this way and consuming media I did pre and post this experience. When one has access to a different scope of emotion, one comes to different conclusions about the realities of the situations they are viewing.... .... an understanding that allows me to comprehend non partisan politics more xD What I really dislike about d8 is it’s relationship to cannabis culture and hallucinogens in general. It always annoyed me when someone would come to this forum and say “I took acid again and now I feel better” (I am in no ways ever supporting that). I have no idea what happened to me. why did d8 influence me as it did? Where d9 doesn’t do that? I can only guess. certainly am grateful though.
  23. Update: emotional range still increased. No diminishment in this effect. Some symptoms of hppd was exacerbated and continues to be. As of now, the symptoms are relatively stable. Mostly brain fog similar to that experienced with delta-9-thc, stress tolerance reduction, and increased anxiety in the evening after sunset. .25mg of Ativan removes majority of evening anxiety. I had an “event” where I fell asleep in a soft shell hyperbaric chamber and awoke 2 hours later with very heightened anxiety. This progressed into minor hppd hallucinations as the night went on. Later, elevated heart rate appeared that would not decrease even with sleep; mental fragility increasing—feeling like I’m “losing grip” on reality. Paraesthesia. Extremely similar in subjective experience to initial hppd onset 7 years ago. Symptoms persisted until 24 hours later when, interestingly, 800% rda magnesium over 8 hours removed the majority of these symptms. Continued taking that amount daily until loose stool (sign body needs no more). This took 4 days before body met magnesium needs. I had been experiencing some symptoms of magnesium deficiency for weeks but was unaware or didn’t understand where the symptoms were coming from. I experienced almost non of the minor deficiency symptoms afaik. Just straight to severe. 7 days later, 1000% rda copper glycinate over 24 hours removed even more of these negative symptoms. When I would open the capsule and taste it, I could not taste the copper as normally I would have. After increasing my levels, I could taste it again and it tastes pretty gross. Pennies. How I feel about all this: still extremely elated I can feel passion and empathy as I would pre hppd. It’s a new lease on life in many ways. I’ve endured the negative symptoms before and they are nothing compared to the worst of what I have been through. If this was a trade off, then I consider it a worthy one for me personally. I have found very few medications that added more to my emotions. 99 percent of the time they are removing negative emotions. I have never found a medication that improved emotions without continuing to take the medication. For me, life was intolerable before. It’s still pretty bad compared to many I would say.... but a small glass of water in the desert is still a glass of water. If I could go back in time, while I would have discontinued delta-8-thc after the first negative reaction, I still would decide to take it initially.
  24. If anyone has any interest in the gate keeping abilities of cb receptors in our brains (as it relates to dopamine). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5608040/
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