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lightbend

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  1. I first noticed my case when I started trying to read a book one day. I hadn't really been in to reading as it was..I was in seventh grade. Regardless, reading black and white print always served as a problem for me. When I go to read, all of the white space on the page is filled with flashing and static. This makes it nearly impossible to concentrate on any sort of text for more than a few seconds before it bugs me out. It is rare, but when I can find the right light, it does help with the static build up. It really sucks not being able to view literature successfully because there's just so much to learn out there. I've done most of my reading/learning through computer and phone screens which gave me a direct passage toward the world, just in the more modernized terms of society, so I guess I've got something good there. Although that method works, the light of the screens will still serve as a burden and I will either invert the colors to white on black, (works the best) take breaks, or turn the brightness down and try to vary the type of lighting in the room. When it comes to viewing regular paper, it plain and simply cannot be white paper or else I stand a small chance against my mind. If anyone can relate to this, please let me know because this is something that comes across my mind very often. Sending good vibes your way -Keith
  2. My parents would most likely have quite a hard time grasping the whole concept of the disorder. It was hard enough to come clean to them as to how much I was doing to my body. They still have that denial within them pretty deeply, so telling them about this thing I've had for nearly ten years would probably be written off as some sort of delusion. I am more concerned about myself in this right now. They do not exactly need to know in my opinion. Maybe someday, but not during this moment in my life.
  3. Hello my name is Keith and this is my first post here. I need to get right into this.So, I was diagnosed with a very brutal virus when I was 7 years old, paralyzing me from the waist down. This is known as ADEM It led me being treated with cocktails of different medications that made me hallucinate immensely for almost two weeks straight upon first admittance. Fast forward a few years to when I first realized there was something wrong with my vision. I tried explaining it to an eye doctor and he pretty much told me it was because I was tired, so I forgot about even saying anything and tried my hardest to cope with it until the age of 20 when I finally decided to research it. I did not even think about trying to stop taking hallucinogens after this. I was still in denial about it. Taking a quick step back, In between the ages of 15 and 21, I have had many intentionally brought on hallucinations, heavy usage of MDMA, pot smoking, concussions evolving to epilepsy and a wholesome exposure to the electronic music/rave scene. More recently, in the past two years I was taking 25i/2ci/2cb quite a bit, which really opened my eyes to the whole deal of symptoms I have. I have visuals on a daily basis from the second I wake up until the moments of complete static filling a pitch black room before sleep. I'm still a rave kid at heart so I picked up the hobby of 'gloving' and 'orbiting. If you do not know what that is, to put it in simple terms, its basically 'hand dancing' with strobe lights on finger tips. I suggest looking it up for a better understanding, but I feel that most people here will know what I am referring to. This hobby really helps me with the disorder in the sense that it stimulates my visual symptoms and gives me an escape from the oanic that is sometimes brought on by hppd. Some people find it as a trigger, but I put the hobby before the disorder in this case. I cant just drop th gloves like that, its what i"m pretty good at and what I have passion for. Well aside from my little rant, I've finally accepted that I will most likely live with this for the rest of my life so it is nice to know that there is an actual forum dedicated to every aspect of this disorder. I look forward to speaking with all of you ! Sending good vibes your way. - Keith
  4. This is my first post to the forum. I share a similar issue with you. I was diagnosed with a very brutal virus when I was 7 years old paralyzing me from the waist down. (ADEM) It led me being treated with cocktails of different medications that made me hallucinate for almost two weeks straight upon first admittance. It took another 6 years after that until i started to notice what was going on. Tried explaining to an eye doctor and he shot me down, so I forgot about even saying anything and dealt with it until the age of 20 when I finally decided to research it. In between the ages of 15 and 21, I have had many intentionally brought on hallucinations, concussions evolving to epiliespy and a heavy exposure to the electronic music scene. More recently, in the past two years I was taking 25i/2ci/2cb quite a bit, which really opened my eyes to the whole deal of symptoms I have. I was then fully aware that there was a problem. Long story short, I have intense visuals on a daily basis. I've finally accepted that I will most likely live with this for the rest of my life so it is nice to know that there is someone out there who knows what its like to have it from a very early age.
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