Airliebeachgoodtime

Yeah, but not having fun at all and being horrible homesick sucks... We went with 12 people to the river today and smoked like 5 joints, but u still didn't took a hit. Probably will stick with that till I am home again, also I am not sure if I really got hppd, or something else (there can be many reasons for the symptoms I got) or they could just he normal and I got scared of my own vision

About two months ago I did a post, 1 1/2 months after my first shroom/psychedelic trip. On the day after the trip I checked myself for hppd symptoms and could see white swirling dots in the blue sky(completely normal) and some (realy really minor) visual snow I got kinda scared. Didn't smoked weed for a few days because I was scared of it being psychedelic. After I did again everything started to get better because it wasn't psychedelic. I went on for a month (smoking in the evening) then I did a big party week in a small party town with lots of drinking and smoking, also smoking some synthetic weed once without anything. I was happy. I decided to stop smoking for two weeks, while on the road, to get my tolerance down again. 10 days in after a day of worring I got a weird hallucinating while looking out of the car window into the blue sky (looked like a dark ring of flickering zigzags) it was there for a few minutes and after ignoring for a while I couldn't see it anymore. It freaked me out and when we were on an island while my mum at home got 60, I got really homesick/depressed/anxius. I started to notice a flickering when looking somewhere while standing still. I decided to extend the break and we got work and a house to stay in Brisbane. The flickering disappear while not thinking about it and I felt like getting better because I had a plan: Not smoking till a few months and I am home, not looking hppd up on the internet anymore, getting some supplements and starting to walk around again every day. But I still developed a few more problems. After waving my arms in front of my face for a few days (to check for trails) I started seeing a ghostly afterimage following my hand (no frozen copys) and stronger after images. Also some visual snow (mostly when getting up) and some cov when u lied down in bad at nigh (a shade of blue moving together in the middle disappearing and appearing again. I drunk (got drunk) two times without any real increase while or when hungover, but decided to stay completely sober till home again. I felt like getting better , but the thought about it was still ruling my mind(dreaming about smoking with my friends at home, and waking up really anxious). Then I had this hallucinating again and then everything started getting worse again (not visual) I decided to travel on for the last month and went to Melbourne. Now my fear and depression is really strong again. I am so afraid that my coming home smoke in a month will somehow will be bad and make things really worse (I have no extreme problem with my vision right now other then the fear that it could get a problem). I feel lonely and without any fun. I met many people here and we are going out almost every evening, but staying sober, and it get really boring. Also the people here smoke a lot and I always say no. I am having kinda the worst time of my life. And I am afraid of the future. My vision is still the same but not really any visual snow at all and the cov is not there at all (really rare and only in the morning while thinking about it) And I am now sure what to do now. I would really like to drink or smoke but I don't want to fuk up the time with my friends at home, but this can't be all the fun u have here, and I still have more then a month till I will go home...

Hey guys, floaters in the sky are much less and static is only strong in the morning when I focus on it, u will continue to my plan to stay sober, also no coffein (have to drop my loved coke zero ) till I am going home to Germany.. stick with alk and weed with my friends then, I hope my symptoms will continue to get less and I will start ignoring/not searching for them. Also I will stop looking all time on the internet about hppd as it can give me a bad feeling. I actually don't remember the feeling of the trip anymore and I am happy with it. If I am unlucky and my symptoms stay like this I can life with that also I think that if I stay sober for some time it won't get worse I drink and smoke, not abusing any substance of course. Went to movie world yesterday and roller coasters were really fun also a thing where we have been driving in the dark with many flashing lights and we had to shoot on some kind of starfish. Had no symptoms at all then. I will try some magnesium because I got sometimes a moving I lid and it has got worse in the last time. Maybe it will help with the visuals too, also I am doing some kind of brain jogging and will go to gym again. Just do something with helps my brain how do you think about this plan

Wrote that wrong, I meant alk, mushrooms don't interest me and I know that I am not the person for them, nighter I got real hppd or not

No I am definitely not doing mushrooms again and won't try Lsd mdma or any other psychedelic again

Won't do psychedelics anymore in my life, mostly because they are not interesting for me anymore. Also today I got the feeling that visual symptoms are getting better, way less floaters close to none in the blue sky and much not noticeable visual snow (just in the first min after waking up) also the flickering got better and the vision doesn't seem to be that sharp anymore. Will not take drugs on my trip anymore, worked today and felt awesome.. k.b.fante, I think this wouldn't be the right thing for me, I mean totally quitting my old lifestyle when I come back. What you have to know that I close to stayed sober till my 19 birthday when I started smoking weed. Also I have never drunk to much so I vomited or couldn't remember anything. I had a quite good lifestyle, doing much sport wandering around enjoying nature and in the evening having crazy fun with my friends and also smoking weed, haven't tried anything other then weed alk and shrooms and won't take anything more then weed and mushrooms when I come back.. when I started smoking weed the whole thing with the friends and so on made me such a better person with such a good view on the world and people.

You are right, had a really bad day feeling depressed and empty but it got better and now I am happy and having a plan, I'll stay abstinent for the next time again, will get work and try to enjoy the time knowing that whatever I got is so weak that it will probably go away in some time. And if its not I can still stop the abstinence and live the life again because it probably won't get worse and then I could also life with the form I got. I won't tough any other drugs then alk and weed in my life again(Lsd and shrooms don't interest me anymore and mdma is not worth the risk of getting worse hppd) The thing was that the person's I was traveling with are used to have a lifestyle I can't fit with (doing only the sight seeing without really enjoying and caring about the people. Today is the first day in about 2 weeks I got a real bed and not only a broken tent, haven't slept good and long in the last two weeks.

Also I am pretty homesick and miss the fun I had

Yeah, I think I should continue my break of drugs. But I am here in Australia and I don't know what to do to have fun, at home I could meet with my friends let them smoke and be happy just by being with them. I am not sure if that what I got is really hppd but the last few days I am feeling really depressed because I can't get any distraction.. I am pretty optimistic that it will go away in some month's but also confused because this flickering startet close to a month away to my trip and I didn't smoked weed for more then a week. And I probably won't do weed anymore on my trip, but I don't know how long I can take the boring time here

Thanks for your advice, however I got really sad today, because is started thinking that the life I started in the last year, including so much fun with my friends is over now.

Tanks for your fast answer, actually I don't got much of anxiety and also had no DP DR after this weak one time on the next day. I got really homesick when I was for five days on an island without much to do and any other social contacts then my friend which I am not sure if I want to continue travel with... I haven't smoked weed for two weeks now but this flickering got worse, what strange is that when we are driving I got no flickering at all or when I looked into the flames of a fire yesterday. I can live with that but I also would like it to go away. I am a really psychic stable person and I am the depression of the homesickness went away after we left the island. The thing which concerns me the most is the fear of having to stop weed for the next time, not that I can't stop smoking it, I mean I proved it to myself this two weeks, but more that I am having so much fun with it and the social aspects of meeting so many people with it, and also in the time after the trip when I smoked my symptoms didn't got worse and it just felt the same high as before the trip. Planed a party week in Brisbane because at the moment I'm not having much fun in Australia with the persons I travel with. My fear is that if j start smoking weed again that I may have a good time but it will prevent the symptoms I got from ever going away.

Hey, I'm 20 years old and a bit more then a month ago I did my first psychedelic experience. I started smoking weed quite regularly since one and a half year before. I'm on a work and travel year in Australia and when I tried mushrooms I was already two months in Australia. Maybe a year before I didn't consider taking any psychedelic in the next time because I was scared of being confronted with something, but after I went to Australia I felt like I solved all my problems, having a really good time and being now ready for mushrooms. So I went out in nature with a friend who stayed sober and ate about 1.8g powdered mushrooms, pretty strong ones grown in Australia. After half an hour I saw leafs and trees forming some kind of geometric patterns or even words but I wasn't too impressed by that, also I got the feeling of seeing so much sharper then before. Everything was right till we drove back to our campground where some really crazy shit did happen. All in all my friend was totally confused and then got the wrong pedal of our car and drove the car with full speed against a fence. After that I started feeling DR and DP and a bad trip started but without having bad though or so it was more a body based bad trip and with bad feeling DR and DP. I didn't got any visuals except the ones I disscriped. I figured out that my friend was a really bad tripsitter. On the next day I had some mild flashbacks of the DR. And I started to think about hppd. I didn't got any DR or DP flashbacks after that. But I got the feeling that my vision wasn't the same. I saw many more floaters in the blue sky and also had some snow which I would discripe as fast flying dust when I look on dark things. I continued smoking weed for 3 weeks after that and these symptoms didn't got worse, the only thing I started to see was that strong lights started sparking when I looked at them in the night, just like the light is flying particles. After a really fun party week I decided to stop weed for some time to get my tolerance down and don't spend so much money (two weeks were planed). Since then the visual snow increased severely. Now when I am lot doing anything which uses my mind I see like a flickering or static over the ground and in the air. Also I still got the feeling of having sharper vision and maybe some trails when I wave my hands in front of my vision, but this could be normal never though about that before. How can that all be related together, and could it really be hppd or just me being super sensitive because of the fear to never see things the same way. If it's hppd it must be a very weak state but I am really confused by that. I think about smoking again because I always described myself as the perfect weed smoker. It always was fun for me not feeling trippy and I also never had a bad trip from weed. Also I didn't abused it, I managed to get not addicted and mostly smoked in the evening with people only to have fun and enjoy my life. So can you help me to get all of that together, because I don't know what to do.. kind regards PS sry for my bad English