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Crazmonster

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  1. Hey all, my name is David and I'm 19. I began doing psychedelics in September of 2012. I was fascinated, it became my whole focus. I spent hours researching and learning as much as I could about them and their potential. My first trip was on mushrooms and it was a beautiful experience. I began doing mushrooms once every two weeks for awhile until July of 2013(I had also been experimenting with mdma.) In July I made my first connection to get acid. From then until January of this year I would do mushrooms, mdma, and mostly acid once to two times a week, sometimes more. I didn't like low dose trips, mostly 4 or more tabs or an eighth of mushrooms often times combining the two at lower doses. It wasn't until January of this year that I had my first bad trip. Sure, I had trips where I was uncomfortable but as someone who's smoked weed everyday since I was 16, I'm accustomed to getting too high and being a little uncomfortable. This time however, I had worked out the day before and my abs were very sore. I took 5 tabs from a sheet that I had been eating from for a few weeks. I somehow managed to forget I had worked out and so my abs were aching immensely and I was unsure why. I started feeling like I had been poisoned. I started panicking(very unlike me and the chilled out person i had become using so many psychs) ended up gong to the hospital because I was worried, but they ended up just sending me home and telling me to stop. After that night I found that if I smoked too much weed especially out of a bong, I would feel like I was tripping again, not in a good way. My head and heart would pound, my eyes would get extremely blood shot and I couldn't think or communicate very well. I am someone who has suffered from insomnia most of my life and so I took to weed as a treatment for that, so, having bad trips from smoking was becoming a problem. I found that smoking a joint allowed me to get high but not too high and I still do this to go to bed. Anyway, I took a break from all psychedelics but continued to smoke weed nightly and it seemed to be just fine. Then, on 4/19 I took only 1g of mushrooms, I did have a couple beers but I was feeling pretty good, mostly a little drunk, then I decided to smoke. I smoked a spliff, I started getting ridiculously high. It got to the point where I was shaking and physically it was unlike any trip I had ever had, I felt like my face and body were morphing and time would skip a second every once in a while. I was extremely uncomfortable and anxious. When I finally started to come down, I was thinking extremely fast and theorizing about a lot of things but I couldn't really grasp what anyone else was saying and I would become frustrated and confused and my friends would explain that we were talking about the exact same thing. That night I had a dream that I was living someone else's life. I woke up really depressed and embarrassed that I had gotten so fried, as I used to take up to 10 hits of acid and be "fine". I have realized that psychs aren't for me anymore and I'm worried I have lasting neurological damage. When I was tripping the last time I felt as though I had Parkinson's and I kept imagining an old man on acid just shaking mindlessly in a rocking chair. I have been depressed all my life and psychs given me a more positive outlook on life that I still have today. Its funny when I find myself feeling anxious, angry, or immature, I feel like I'm going back to the child I was before psychs. Sometimes I wonder if they helped me or hurt me but either way I don't regret anything. I realize this is an HPPD forum so I guess I should say that since starting psychs I have had symptoms, though mostly visual. It scares me to read about a lot of your stories as they paint a picture of would could possibly happen to me if I continued use. I don't find that my symptoms really inhibit me in my day to day life other than having a hard time understanding the immaturity of people and becoming bored with people easily. I probably won't be the biggest contributor on this forum as I'm usually just a lurker, but I felt that it was important to get my story out there as a warning to those currently experimenting. Be careful, these aren't substances to mess around with, they can be incredibly fun and rewarding but watch how often and how much you take and what settings you are in as you have no idea of the possible consequences. Thanks for anyone who reads this, and remember, I love you all and you're perfect for who you are and what you have experienced
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