I've been experimenting with drugs for the past two and a half years or so. Mainly hallucinogens (Psychedelics, dissociatives, deliriants) and cannabis. Also opiates and amphetamines to a much lesser extent. Recently I've noticed I've became a bit anxious and paranoid at times, usually at night when I lay awake and think about life and all those unanswerable questions.
What really got me worried was when a few weeks ago I went outside at night for a cigarette (i also smoked cannabis earlier although I was sober at this point) and i started thinking about life, death, etc and i became very anxious and I began seeing fractals/geometric patterns in a pine tree in my yard. After a minute or so I calmed down and just laughed it off. I also smoked more cannabis with calmed me down.
Sometimes I'll also feel dissociated and absent-minded and I'll think about how I'm going to end up going crazy one day and end up in a mental hospital. I'm not sure what's going on but i cant seem to get rid of my anxiety and I cant deny the visuals I had that one time. A lot of the time I feel like its hard to grasp the concept of things and i feel very "jumbled" for lack of a better term. I wish i could have wrote this better, I might try again in the future but I just need some feedback.
