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Everything posted by SomebodySomewhere

  1. Sorry for being a jerk. You're a good guy and I know you're trying to help. My dog died today so I'm having trouble not getting mad at random people. To try and answer what you wrote, I've seen this guy for about 15 years and did everything you suggested in the past. Luckily when I last talked to him he wrote me a prescription for 2mg a day and told me I can go as slowly as I need to. Sorry for being a jerk. I don't handle stress well so I generally flip out on people for no reason. Just yesterday I yelled at someone in a store for not wearing a mask. I'm a prick but I'm working on
  2. I'm aware of the fact he's tapering me too fast. The problem is I'm in a rural area where he is literally the only prescriber. I have no choice but to go through this jackass of a prescriber. I called him last night and told him I need him to contact me today, and do 0.5mg a month instead. If he doesn't agree I'm simply going to have to yell at him. I can't do the Ashton protocol. I'm very aware of how it's supposed to work, I can't go that route. I know you were just trying to help, but you have indeed made me much more anxious.
  3. When I first developed HPPD, I had a really difficult time watching movies, it made DP/DR much worse for me. Fast-paced video games were the same. I ended up being able to play slower-paced video games, but only if I took periodic breaks. Some months back I had a temporary reassurance of symptoms, and the same thing happened. I also feel that if you have a high refresh-rate monitor, it can make matters worse. I own one and would frequently change from the high refresh rate down to 60-85hz to prevent over-excitation based on looking at the screen. Now, during benzo withdrawal, I'm hav
  4. Well, it wasn't bad until today. Vertigo, hyper-sensitivity to noise, strong anxiety, muscle spams/twitching, and depression. I want to take back the dumb advice I've given in the past and say this: Don't take Klonopin long term to help with HPPD! It's not worth it.
  5. That's interesting re: how it affects cannabis. I was a weed smoker for almost 2 years, and I feel it's responsible for a lot of my cognitive decline, more-so than previous alcoholism, even though I stopped almost two years ago. Tried nicotine again today, took too much though and feel a bit jittery. Still the same "awakened" feeling, and my vision seems much sharper than normal. I'm going to stop experimenting with it now though and start out with Choline instead when I get a chance.
  6. So now that I've tapered down to a lower dosage of my Clonazepam (down to 2mg from 3mg so far, going off completely through a gradual taper), I'm finding that although I don't seem to have classic visual HPPD symptoms remaining (thank god, and at this dose I'd have them returning), I do still have DP/DR but I've grown so used to it that I haven't even noticed it. I don't pretend to understand all the posts regarding Acetylcholine all that well, but today I decided to pick up Nicotine gum as an experiment. I feel much more "with it", and more like my normal self. I don't use Nicotine
  7. It used to link to a topic where someone was warning not to use Lions Mane as they said it permanently made their HPPD much, much worse.
  8. *Edit* Removed dumb post. To add some content: Sage sounds interesting, but I'd only use it as a spice. Based on what I'm reading when taking it as a supplement it has thujone in it, like what's in Wormwood, which is neurotoxic.
  9. I have a prescription for Naltrexone, but haven't been taking it because I'm worried it could mess up benzo withdrawals. What benefits did you see from it? What I personally noticed, even though I typically don't feel dissociated, is that I felt much more "in my body". I know that off-label Naltrexone and it's stronger cousin can be used for depersonalization/derealization. I'm not sure my anger problem is HPPD related since I've always had one (though it's much worse these days), but I also noticed that things that would typically piss me off wouldn't when I was on it. I w
  10. @OnemorestepThanks for the advice. I've decided to hold onto the CBD oil, but not take it for now. I also get paraesthesia from CBD and THC, but I didn't know the name of it before. I'm glad we have so many smart members on this board that really do their research. I used to have a brain, but years of drinking turned my brain into mush Thanks.
  11. @Onemorestep You're lucky that you can handle it so well. I recently decided to try and use CBD again, as I've been reading many find it helps with benzo withdrawals, which I'm getting pretty bad. The first brand I ordered, it said had the regulated 0.3mg/serving THC per 5omg CBD, but I call bull, it clearly had enough THC to mess me up, so I tossed it. Today I ordered CBD from a reputable source, Lazarus Naturals, and although my thinking isn't weird like it was on the other one, I do feel dizzy, and am having small visual changes. Have you ever had anything like this? I'm tryi
  12. @Onemorestep Thanks. Yeah, I need to more thoroughly research supplements before I take them. Your search recommendations are good. I'm finding these days a simple Google search yields lots of conflicting results, since people manipulate the algorithm to get to the first page, and a lot of those results have inaccurate info. Your suggestions are good.
  13. I wish I had known. I had tried Lemon Balm a few weeks ago, and although I didn't hallucinate, my thinking became very strange, similar to the mindset someone would have when tripping. I'm throwing the rest of the tincture out.
  14. I agree, it's way too fast, that's why I'm expecting some nasty withdrawals. According to the site with the Ashton Protocol, for some reason Klonopin has a higher tendency to give depersonalization/derealization during withdrawals than other benzos do. I hope that doesn't happen, for me that's even worse than my visual symptoms were. If it gets bad I'll call him up and convince him that I should do 0.25mg every two weeks. He's used to me asking to do things my way, he'd cave. It's day three and so far things aren't bad, I just generally don't feel well. No spikes in anxiety
  15. After reading the potential withdrawl symptoms from the Ashton Protocol, I'm a bit scared of this. I've been on Klonopin for around 14 years, and before that I was prescribed Ativan as-needed for general anxiety, so I've been on benzos a very long time. According to the Ashton Protocol site this is what I'm going to have to potentially deal with: Aww fuck. Merry Christmas to me I guess Plus I can't use the Ashton Protocol, my psychiatrist won't let me. He wanted to have me taper off at 0.5mg every week until I screamed bloody murder, so now it's 0.5mg every two weeks.
  16. I'm glad to hear you're doing so much better, that's great news. Some people do recover, sounds like you're one of them The weed concerns me, but I'm not your mom, you know the risks. In terms of the memory, did you take benzos for HPPD or are the memory problems related to HPPD? I'm glad you're feeling better. Whether it's technically gone or not I guess is irrelevant in a way, the fact that you're feeling well and accepting things is really what matters, as long as you're happy.
  17. Hello, I used to be on this board during that same time period under a different username. This board is fairly dead, but once in a while people pop in. It seems like r/HPPD on Reddit is where people go these days, but they give awful advice. But, it's more active. How are your HPPD symptoms these days? Have a good holiday season.
  18. Oh, I didn't know that. Regardless, I'd ask a doctor, it sounds like it has some serious side effects. I'll let someone who's actually tried it chime in. A drug that might help Depersonalization, that I have tried personally, is Naltrexone. I'm currrently on it for alcoholism, but I'm also noticing I now seem more "with it". I guess I've been depersonalized and I just became used to it. There's research backing up it as a treatment for depersonalization. I feel for you, I know how bad DP is, it's even worse than HPPD itself.
  19. Why are you interested in trying Sinemet? It's a drug for Parkinsons, but if you do have Parkinsons, I don't know, ask a Doctor. Here's a site that lists some possible interactions and side effects: https://www.drugs.com/mtm/sinemet.html Since a possible side effect is hallucinations, I have to wonder how well that would work with HPPD. If you're interested in taking this in order to treat HPPD, don't. It won't help.
  20. Once I'm off of my Klonopin, if I still have HPPD (I don't know if I still have it), I'll make sure I read through this thread carefully and try some of the suggestions. It is important that we try and figure out if this can be reversed, I agree with you.
  21. Hi, I can sense your frustration. I agree that we do need to find alternatives. SSRI's and anti-psychotics WILL make things worse, and benzos are simply an effective band-aid (I'm taking them but plan on going off of them post-Covid). *Edit* Shouldn't drunk post. @Jay1Ever since the forum update we can no longer delete our own posts. Please add that back.
  22. It's possible it's HPPD, but I'd still rule other things out, especially since I'm not a Doctor. HPPD can go away over time, for other's it's permanent. I've been taking Clonazepam/Klonopin for over a decade to treat HPPD, and it works very well. It's the best treatment option in terms of effectivness at getting rid of symptoms, just understand it isn't a cure, and it's highly addictive (and dangerous to suddenly stop taking). If you determine it is indeed HPPD, then I would suggest Clonazepam, the lowest dose possible. You'd need to take it every day in order to get proper refl
  23. Hi, First I'd visit a Doctor to rule out other possibilities, just to be safe. If you do have HPPD, there isn't a cure per-se, but there are ways of managing it, and if you search the forum you'll find accounts of people who've had it go away over time, and others that claim success with specific treatments and techniques. Minimizing stress, focusing on things you enjoy doing that aren't too visually stimulating, have a good diet, get proper vitamin intake, and obviously stay away from all drugs. IMO, Clonazepam is the best medication for HPPD, with the most research backing it
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