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SomebodySomewhere

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Everything posted by SomebodySomewhere

  1. I don't mind at all, that's actually a very good example, and it makes a lot of sense (I was in the E.R. of a hospital during said trip, looking up under bright florescent lights where the nurses/doctors looked demonic/dead). Thank fuck I don't experience that anymore, but if I did re-wiring that pathway in the way you mentioned makes sense. It's like exposure therapy. @rlopes Thanks. Getting my 2nd vaccine dose on the 5th, waiting two weeks after that, and then I'll begin my taper again. I'll make a post about it when I start again.
  2. How quickly did you taper, if you don't mind me asking? I'm going to be re-starting a Klonopin taper soon, and this is a concern I have, is that this garbage drug has permanently fucked up my brain. On topic: If this is true it's great news, but given the small sample size in the study I'd take it with a grain of salt. A bigger study would need to be conducted. That said, I started taking Klonopin shortly after developing HPPD, and have been on it for around 15 years (which is a stupid thing to do...don't do it), and I also boozed (also dumb). Anyway, my visuals are gone these days, so that does make me wonder if there is a connection, especially since @Hall89mentioned knowing someone who had done the same.
  3. For both me and the person mentioned, it's not ignoring the symptoms, it's gone. There are cases where it goes away, and cases where it seems permanent. You don't know what group you fall into so don't lose hope. I used to feel the same way as you. If you search through the forum you'll find there are others who've had it go away, either through time, or through medications they've tried. My trails were moderate and the micropsia was frequent and very disturbing. HPPD is a horrible disorder that everyone deserves to recover from.
  4. I used to have trails, geometric patterns in wood-grain/various surfaces, vision that looked very "fluid", micropsia, visual snow (this hasn't gone away, but it's never bothered me), and a visual that I think is DP/DR related and not related to HPPD, where people under flourscenet light looked demonic/dead-looking (could also be a PTSD response, the trip that gave me HPPD was a really bad trip where dying was a big theme). I can't give a precise amount of time that my HPPD has been gone because I started taking Klonopin within a year of getting the disorder, which masks the symptoms. I do not believe the Klonopin cured me, I think it just went away on it's own. I met another person once and by chance he mentioned he used to have HPPD as well, he didn't take anything for it, and after 10 years it went away on it's own.
  5. Only when you take them. They don't cure HPPD.
  6. @OnemorestepI'm glad you didn't take it personally, you give great advice. Thanks to you as well @bpl4269 Currently I'm still at 2mg a day. I'm waiting until I've received both doses of the Covid-19 vaccine before continuing to taper, my rationale being that benzo withdrawals can resemble flu-like symptoms. Only 4 days to go until my first vaccine shot, but with my horrible luck I'll probably catch Covid before then Luckily my prescriber is relenting and letting me taper at whatever pace I want when I start going back down. He's frustrating because he is frequently wrong about medications, but he means well. I'm getting to the point again where if I say I want a specific medication he just gives it to me with minimal hassle.
  7. I'm about to start taking Lamictal for a non-HPPD related reason, and then found this: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5655014/ Looks like Keppra and Lamictal both affect SV2A the same way. If you do a search through the forums, there are success stories attributed to both medications. Very interesting.
  8. Sorry for being a jerk. You're a good guy and I know you're trying to help. My dog died today so I'm having trouble not getting mad at random people. To try and answer what you wrote, I've seen this guy for about 15 years and did everything you suggested in the past. Luckily when I last talked to him he wrote me a prescription for 2mg a day and told me I can go as slowly as I need to. Sorry for being a jerk. I don't handle stress well so I generally flip out on people for no reason. Just yesterday I yelled at someone in a store for not wearing a mask. I'm a prick but I'm working on it. You give good advice, so ignore my negativity.
  9. I'm aware of the fact he's tapering me too fast. The problem is I'm in a rural area where he is literally the only prescriber. I have no choice but to go through this jackass of a prescriber. I called him last night and told him I need him to contact me today, and do 0.5mg a month instead. If he doesn't agree I'm simply going to have to yell at him. I can't do the Ashton protocol. I'm very aware of how it's supposed to work, I can't go that route. I know you were just trying to help, but you have indeed made me much more anxious.
  10. When I first developed HPPD, I had a really difficult time watching movies, it made DP/DR much worse for me. Fast-paced video games were the same. I ended up being able to play slower-paced video games, but only if I took periodic breaks. Some months back I had a temporary reassurance of symptoms, and the same thing happened. I also feel that if you have a high refresh-rate monitor, it can make matters worse. I own one and would frequently change from the high refresh rate down to 60-85hz to prevent over-excitation based on looking at the screen. Now, during benzo withdrawal, I'm having those same symptoms again. I guess this goes to show how different it can be between people with the same disorder.
  11. Well, it wasn't bad until today. Vertigo, hyper-sensitivity to noise, strong anxiety, muscle spams/twitching, and depression. I want to take back the dumb advice I've given in the past and say this: Don't take Klonopin long term to help with HPPD! It's not worth it.
  12. That's interesting re: how it affects cannabis. I was a weed smoker for almost 2 years, and I feel it's responsible for a lot of my cognitive decline, more-so than previous alcoholism, even though I stopped almost two years ago. Tried nicotine again today, took too much though and feel a bit jittery. Still the same "awakened" feeling, and my vision seems much sharper than normal. I'm going to stop experimenting with it now though and start out with Choline instead when I get a chance.
  13. So now that I've tapered down to a lower dosage of my Clonazepam (down to 2mg from 3mg so far, going off completely through a gradual taper), I'm finding that although I don't seem to have classic visual HPPD symptoms remaining (thank god, and at this dose I'd have them returning), I do still have DP/DR but I've grown so used to it that I haven't even noticed it. I don't pretend to understand all the posts regarding Acetylcholine all that well, but today I decided to pick up Nicotine gum as an experiment. I feel much more "with it", and more like my normal self. I don't use Nicotine normally, but I decided to try it due to my perception that Nicotine is an acetylcholine agonist (I have trouble understanding it as I'm an idiot these days, but this is based off this thread: https://www.hppdonline.com/topic/6734-back-possible-cure-part-2-no-guarantees-but-were-here-anyways/ ). I also found this link very helpful in explaining what having low-levels or levels too-high of different neurotransmitters can do: https://medium.com/publishous/fixing-your-brain-a-guide-to-balancing-neurotransmitters-72649aab40b1 Under symptoms for low levels of acetylcholine, all of that sounds accurate in regards to my functioning these days. Low levels of dopamine might also be accurate in regards to my personal symptoms. Who else has tried nicotine and what was your response to it like? I'm not advocating nicotine as a way to treat HPPD or DP/DR, and I'm just experimenting with it for now to see if it helps with my remaining symptoms. My next step if this continues to work would be to start supplementing with Choline. I know Sage was mentioned as a possibility by the author of the other topic, but based on my reading you wouldn't want to take that as a supplement due to the presence of the same neurotoxin present in Wormwood: thujone. Also, I've seen L-Carnitine mentioned on that site as a way to increase acetylcholine levels, I currently take L-Arginine periodically for other reasons, wouldn't that have the same result? I've taken L-Carnitine in the past but it tends to give me chest pain.
  14. It used to link to a topic where someone was warning not to use Lions Mane as they said it permanently made their HPPD much, much worse.
  15. *Edit* Removed dumb post. To add some content: Sage sounds interesting, but I'd only use it as a spice. Based on what I'm reading when taking it as a supplement it has thujone in it, like what's in Wormwood, which is neurotoxic.
  16. I have a prescription for Naltrexone, but haven't been taking it because I'm worried it could mess up benzo withdrawals. What benefits did you see from it? What I personally noticed, even though I typically don't feel dissociated, is that I felt much more "in my body". I know that off-label Naltrexone and it's stronger cousin can be used for depersonalization/derealization. I'm not sure my anger problem is HPPD related since I've always had one (though it's much worse these days), but I also noticed that things that would typically piss me off wouldn't when I was on it. I wish I understood neuroscience better. I really need to sit down and educate myself, and then pour through this thread.
  17. @OnemorestepThanks for the advice. I've decided to hold onto the CBD oil, but not take it for now. I also get paraesthesia from CBD and THC, but I didn't know the name of it before. I'm glad we have so many smart members on this board that really do their research. I used to have a brain, but years of drinking turned my brain into mush Thanks.
  18. @Onemorestep You're lucky that you can handle it so well. I recently decided to try and use CBD again, as I've been reading many find it helps with benzo withdrawals, which I'm getting pretty bad. The first brand I ordered, it said had the regulated 0.3mg/serving THC per 5omg CBD, but I call bull, it clearly had enough THC to mess me up, so I tossed it. Today I ordered CBD from a reputable source, Lazarus Naturals, and although my thinking isn't weird like it was on the other one, I do feel dizzy, and am having small visual changes. Have you ever had anything like this? I'm trying to figure out whether it's the CBD or simply benzo withdrawals. I do have chronically low blood pressure, I'm thinking maybe the CBD is lowering it too far (which is why I'm drinking some coffee while writing this, want to bring my BP back up). What dosage of CBD do you generally find works best for you personally? In terms of the pooping out, yeah, it's bizarre. I looked on Youtube for a link to that 60 Minutes report, but apparently even the creators of Charlottes Web, who sold the stuff due a condition their daughter has, her symptoms have returned, CBD no longer works for her, even though it did for a long time. Soon I'll be giving my mother CBD again as her Crohn's is now much worse, and before she went into remission thanks to CBD, so I feel like it's worth a shot, as it's been a couple years now.
  19. @Onemorestep Thanks. Yeah, I need to more thoroughly research supplements before I take them. Your search recommendations are good. I'm finding these days a simple Google search yields lots of conflicting results, since people manipulate the algorithm to get to the first page, and a lot of those results have inaccurate info. Your suggestions are good.
  20. I wish I had known. I had tried Lemon Balm a few weeks ago, and although I didn't hallucinate, my thinking became very strange, similar to the mindset someone would have when tripping. I'm throwing the rest of the tincture out.
  21. I agree, it's way too fast, that's why I'm expecting some nasty withdrawals. According to the site with the Ashton Protocol, for some reason Klonopin has a higher tendency to give depersonalization/derealization during withdrawals than other benzos do. I hope that doesn't happen, for me that's even worse than my visual symptoms were. If it gets bad I'll call him up and convince him that I should do 0.25mg every two weeks. He's used to me asking to do things my way, he'd cave. It's day three and so far things aren't bad, I just generally don't feel well. No spikes in anxiety yet.
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